There days Open Relationship is becoming a trend. You will find many college and office people are getting into Open Relationship. They have chance to convert this open relationship into real relationship but they don’t. Are they afraid of commitment, are they love being independent, we will try to look into some of these factors in this post on “Open Relationship”.
What is Open relationship?
Lets first discus, what exactly is open relationship and how it’s different from actual real relationship. If we refer to Wiki article on open relationship, here is what it says in my own words:
In an open relationship, there is no commitment. A partner can have intimate and sexual relation with another partner and there is no guilt and no explanation to that. Though different open relations have different level of commitment and understanding. People get into open relationship for different reasons, some time it’s some kind of social arrangement, some time office reasons, and some time it’s just you want to be into one. There is nothing wrong with an open relationship, when you don’t want to be in a committed relationship. Though, in many countries Open relationship is not accepted as part of society and doesn’t looked as a respectable relationship status. Even social networking site Facebook has adopted this as a standard relationship status and you can select open relationship on your Facebook profile.
It will be wrong to say that open relationship is only for those people who are a nympho or for people who are cheaters. It’s for people who want to learn more and don’t want to bound themselves with single thing. It’s for people who believe that life has many things to explore and with commitment and sticking with one partner, you will not be able to enjoy so many things which this life has to offer for us.
These days’ people hardly believe in “Forever Love”. Majority girls and guys prefer to go for open relationships, without tensions. In fact, words like “True Friendship” or “Friendship” really don’t exist between a girl and boy. You will get lots of people who believe in “Move on” relationships.
They want a relationships which is not monotonous, no boundaries and such relationships hardly stay for more than 2-3 months or might be less. People like each other, spend time together, start getting bore with each other, finally get a new partner and start the cycle again.
Do you ever wonder why people choose to be in open relationships? There are few reasons why people repel by true love and don’t prefer to stay with single partner:
Why people Prefer Open Relationship:
- Afraid of commitments:
People are used to live life their own way and always try to escape from responsibilities. Girls and boys both prefer to think to stay away from commitments. There are many reasons for that like not getting perfect partner, fear of losing partner or getting dumped by partner. Whatever might be the reason, this is the biggest reason to prefer an open relationships rather than going for a true love.
Also read: Why Men are afraid of commitments?
- Afraid of responsibilities:
That’s another reason for selecting open relationships. Because the day you will commit to your partner, he/she will start dreaming about future, marriage and kids. And I am sure, you will start shivering with just an imagination of same. The day you get committed to someone you start thinking about future plans, you get responsibility to handle your partner and house. This is hardly accepted by girls and guys of this generation.
- No more fun in life:
Addicted to live life king size? Just imagine a life where you will hardly get time to spend late nights with friends, no more flirting around and many times no drinks and smoke. I know this life is really hard to imagine especially when you always want to live an adventurous life. After commitments, it’s hard to take risk in life and you need to think about your partner also. A commitment automatically changes your priorities of life.
- Taking each other granted:
This is most bad things happens in commitments. Partners start taking each other for granted, which slowly makes their relationship boring. They start ignoring each other calls, mails, messages because they start thinking that they are committed and not going to leave each other. This is really worst part of any relationship and thus people prefer to go for open relationships.
- No more Romance:
Once you start taking each other for granted, life becomes boring and monotonous. Partners start getting bore saying “Sweet Words” to each other. In starting of any relationship, everyone likes to spend whole day with each other and there are lots of things to discuss, talk and do. But later there are hardly any topic left to talk and you are also out of ideas to give each other surprises.
I know that many people don’t prefer to go for open relationships. This article is neither to support you to go for open relationship nor to dampen. It totally depends on individual what they prefer in their life.
Do you like Open relationship or your like serious relationships?
If you have any insights on open relationships, do share with us. I would love to know your views on same.
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my ex for 6 yrs (we’re together for 24 yr) and we have been seeing ea other again and had sex last june. i was hoping to get together again because i have learned a lot in the past few yrs about relationships and still am in love with her. I know i made a few mistakes and apologied. i have just found out that she was intimate with a man that is married with an open relationship. in fac, that women ok’ed my ex to sleep with her husband. my ex thinks that this is ok. she has not slept with him for the last 6 months but he still sends her flirtateous texts. I feel like a fool and really hurt and jealous. my ex says he loves his wife and that my ex and him would not get serious with ea other and that she still has past trust issue with me. i wont go into her past…..what do you think. we live 5hrs apart. thanks Tony
You would be surprised to read that serious and happy open marriages exist. I really don’t understand, why physical loyalty is so important in the age of condoms and other contraceptives. Biologically there is really no point. I think the main difference between people who are looking for “serious marriages” and those who go for “open marriages” is maturity. I think that people living in an open marriage are more realistic.
My questions are: Isn’t it a bit egoistic and stupid to constrain the happiness of my partner in the marriage, so that I won’t get hurt, by things he does to fulfil his physical needs? This doesn’t even make sense.
Shouldn’t you feel lucky and happy enough that you can BE with your partner? Why do you want to POSSESS him? Maybe in the age where people define themselves with all the materialistic things they have, love and so the partner seem to be one of the goods one has. What does this have to do with love? Wouldn’t you want your loved one to be as happy as possible?
Is there really such a stupid person out there, who believes that you can get everything from one partner??? You know what?? Ask your mommys and daddys, how hot their sex is after being 10 ys. married, having babies.. etc. Do you think you can keep up the excitement in the beginning forever? Do you think that people will stop wanting to be excited? Where is the point?
Well being single is not an alternative, I want to be with a partner, who knows me and understands me really well. And I want to love and understand my partner for who he is, not for what he is supposed to become in the marriage.
You know, the values of ‘open marriages’ are traditional ones – be honest, trust your partner, simply commmunicate. My husband and I are happily married for 10 ys. now – we both have other partners every now and then. But our marriage is the place for real love. And as romantic as I am, I really believe that you can love someone forever… ask other married couples…
Serial monogamy is way better. Having sex with another partner then returning into the marital bed next to your spouse is just plain gross. Eww
@MariaG I understand what you’re saying Maria, but, let’s be fair. Your comment is highly opinionated, you can easily make the argument that open relationships are shallow and not mature at all, and completely selfish. Just as you could make the argument that wanting to stay committed to your true partner and not sleeping around is the “mature” thing to do and the altruistic thing to do.
I think the main thing here is a lot of people cant control their own urges so they simply say its okay because they had that urge, I’ve contemplated whether these people have any understanding of the ethics involved in such actions. Hell, I’ve had the urge to punch some people in the face. But I don’t do it, should I have simply done it because I had the urge? no, because there is a little thing called ethics.
If both parties are actually OPEN about an open relationship then more power to em, however, from my experiences with open relationships the other person is usually just a sex addict, doesn’t like responsibility and has commitment issues. So the open relationship does two things for this person, one it allows to have their cake and eat it but it also limits their growth as an individual which since they don’t want responsibility they don’t want to deal with. I don’t see how anyone can and will grow as an individual when an open relationship doesn’t require it.
Certainly there are different types of open relationships that have some limits to allow the growth and maturity of the individual, but I’ve yet to experience those so I can’t comment on them.
Omg, My gf just asked me to be an open relationship, after multiple fights we had, i understand why now those fights happened, so she could turn around and be free to feel alive again and then come back to me when she missed me, I can’t open the relationship, its not in me, i want her to be happy, i did let her go today so she could do her thing. Its devastating to see some people struggling with their own self esteem and always think you are going to cheat on them ect, she couldn’t trust me and wasn’t ready to commit. every fights she was blaming on me maybe to take the guilt off her shoulder and screw around to get some validations of her self. I am totally happy to read your comments and thats why i have to tell you how great it feels that i am not the only thing this way, don’t get me wrong people can live their lives, i dont think monotonous relationship is selfish as polygamist. no such thing for both. its a life choices that you grow or you stang because you are not ready. we all get hurt and we all suffer from things that’s natural, its part of growing learning.
your comment is fabulous
john osemudiamen says
marriage before sex is better than to sex before marriage.
I like being a swinger with my gf but if I had to choose open relationship I would walk away. I can do that as a single guy and have no worries