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If you are reading this, it means that you probably might be in the shittiest moods ever! Obviously, we girls are superb in this field. We remember all the dates, the date when he probably first held your hand, the day that you saw each other for the first time, the day that you went out with him for the first time, the day when you first kissed . . . everything! But trust me; guys are not that great at all this. And it does NOT mean that he does not care about you anymore. And it surely does NOT mean that he has lost all interest in you and even might be seeing someone else. It is just that he FORGOT!
So what? Even you can’t remember everything. Did you remember all those answers your History teacher made you revise ten times? Was that not important? So if you can forget things, so can he! So stop being so gloomy and walking with the sad cloud all over your head, if you are a girl, you should know that we are more specialised in remembering important dates.
And since I am a die hard feminist so I would like to add, that we are indeed better than guys in all ways possible so remembering dates is not a tough job at all for us but it is not the same for men. Remembering dates is quite a task for them!
Remember he is a human after all:
There may be a million things going on in his mind- work, family, stress, in all that he can forget few things. Those things can really be important but I am sure, nobody deliberately forgets such stuff. So please stop over reacting, it’s your anniversary, you are not supposed to spend all this time, sulking in a corner, chin up, girl!
Drop a few hints:
You can remind him of this day without actually reminding him of it. For that, you can mark the date of the newspaper in red bold marker, before he actually reads it. Mark that date in the calendar which stays in front of his eyes all the time. It might help to remind him of this day without actually having to remind him.
Do things that remind him of that day:
Watch your wedding CD’s when he is around or clean the frame of your wedding picture, replace the flowers of your room with the ones he gave you on the first anniversary, I hope you just got the hint! So do the stuff that actually reminds him of the wedding day, and you never know that he might just recall that it is the most special day of his life!
Take help of friends:
Ok, so your steps didn’t work out, don’t worry, you still have a powerful weapon. Take help from your friends. Ask them to remind him of this day or if you think that they can help you in any other way, ask them to give you a few tips which just might help you to remind him of this day. Obviously, haven’t you heard of the phrase, a friend in need is a friend indeed!
Remind him politely:
If none of the above tips work. It’s ok. Your anniversary is more important than the fact if he remembers it or not. It is your special day. GO AHEAD. And remind him politely that it’s your anniversary today, if he feels guilty; tell him that he can still make up by pampering you for the rest of the day. I am sure that it would be more amazing than the act of him wishing you first! In the end, it’s the love that matters the most. And I am sure he loves you a lot!
At the end of the day, it’s your relationship that is more important than such silly reasons and it’s your anniversary and the day is too special to be wasted by such a goddamn reason.
So REMIND HIM POLITELY now. I am sure this is the best way to save your day. Forgive him because at the end of the day, we are humans and we too have flaws. So cheer up. What if he didn’t wish you first. At least you can! Wish him with the warmest of hugs and the sweetest of surprises and make sure that this anniversary is the anniversary to remember.
What if he didn’t plan a surprise for you? You can do that. And you can do that in your own special way. Like I know someone who surprised her guy with a room filled with lit scented candles and red roses. The guy was swept off his feet. Completely! Who said girls can’t take initiatives? They can. And they can do it better! I am sure that you are even more creative than that girl I know. So plan it in your own way and do it brilliantly! Kudos!
P.S: Since I am born with an extra curious mind. I could kill to know how you did that. Please be generous enough to drop in your comments about how you went out of your way and made that day the most special day of your life. Or if you have ever surprised your guy/ girl, please drop in your comments and help others get few ideas!
Shikha
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it’s so easy to be said than done. it sucks that he forgot this special day. he didn’t do anything for this day he didn’t make it up to me either. now what? I want to break up with him. it’s not the first time he’s done this to me. got it okay he’s a jerk and I hate him really really hate him
I feel your pain. 50 years today and nada. 5% make 50 years but this chick will not be making 51. They sure as he’ll know what time the games on. Walk no run and find a considerate partner it only gets worse. She doesn’t know squat about relationships.
You are amazing! I told him that he had forgotten our 1 month anniversary and he had apologized many times, and we finally met today and kissed!! Thank you!! You’re amazing!
My boyfriend told me 2 weeks ago that he would take me to barbeque grill on our first aniversary. And i kind of knew he wont,because i knw him well. But still a smidge of hope that he would do atleast something. But turns out he didnt even wish me. And i knw he remembers it pretty well. He always does that. Make plans before time and the sneaks out inconspicouly.
Komal
I’m reading all these my anniversary is coming up. He forgot our very first one I know he will forget this one it pisses me off saying remind him remind him he should remember gosh it only once a year I want him to feel really bad for not remembering how do I do it
Me and my husband got married 15 years. Today is our anniversary, he never remember our anniversary my birthday Since 1st year of marriage but I never forgot single anniversary always texting him and try to make the date fabulous as much as possible . So never expect, just do what you feel it makes you happy.
It’s key to never expect because when you do things for them and try to go all out but expect them to at least remember, then you’re all disappointed and heart broken.
We’re dating each other for 6years now and almost a month before we had a big fight because of this anniversary date he still missed it…i told him it’s okay he can apologize for what he have done he said he don’t want to because it’s not a big deal to him…
Forgive him and make your day special don’t seem to be a nice idea here!
it is our 34th anniversary tomorrow. i’m quite sure he will forget or he will only say “happy anniversary”. i was already feeling sorry for myself and angry at him. i am still madly in love with him. still, i was ready to to be passive aggressive with him until he guessed why.
thank you for saving me from acting like a petulant child. i am a feminist also-and i you really set me straight on this and any upcoming “tricks” i might play. brilliant. where do you live. let’s go out for wine or better yet, a martini.
Today is my wedding anniversary so YES, I’m here feeling all upset and hurt. I’m sorry. I think your advice is well-intended but it gets old and tiresome having to be the giving one, the mindful, caring, and loving one. We JUST talked about our celebration plans THREE DAYS AGO! How in the hell do you forget your anniversary after having a recent conversation about it? NOPE…..I’m pissed and hurt and it’s gonna be cold as hell the rest of the week in my house and it’s only Tuesday. The weekend may be especially icy because the plans I made to celebrate I just canceled. 🙁
You say your a feminist, yet the whole article is about how its not the guys fault. I wouldn’t consider myself a feminist but I am certainly all for women and equal rights. I just couldn’t help myself to comment based on what I think sounds more realistic and logical. First off yes its very important for your loved one to remember certain dates. Thats just a flat out normal thing in a loving relationship. Why would someone forget, nowadays there are so many ways to remember. For crying out loud the Alexia device can remind you hands free, calendar on your phone that you looked at 50 times that day. Men should not get off with your whole article of excuses you made up. Its called life. Its called expectations. If your boyfriend/husband doesn’t value you enough to remember your anniversary or birthday then damn its time to reevaluate that. What woman doesn’t want their signficant other to spoil/love them and remember how special that day was and the life you built or our building together. See those are the simple things in life. Simple, yet very meaningful and important.
Try 36 years of him not making this day special. He doesnt forget because i remind him but he has never done anything special. What makes me stay with this man. Its not enough he doesn’t touch me anymore but not doing or planing anything for my birthday or our anniversary for 36 years. Come on, really hard to keep letting it go.
If you feminists really wanted equality, you would realise that the anniversary is as much about him as it is about you. If you want to be pampered for this day, maybe so does he. And he is not obligated to surprise you any more than you are to surprise him. This article somehow even twists the woman surprising the man into being about the woman! Seriously, you’re not better than him, this isn’t some sick competition, you’re supposed to be a team. I can suggest discussing what each of you have in mind for the anniversary beforehand, like grown-ups would do.
Here’s a little advice I got from my mother when I got married.
“If you’re not going to divorce him over it; get over it!” Just try to remember all the nice things he’s done for you all the loving ways he’s treated you and you’ll feel better. Also, nothing turns a man on more than being desired by the woman he loves. Show him how much he still means to you and how much you are still in love with him.