Falling in Love with Someone You Can’t Have

by Ruchi on

Falling in love is the best feeling in this world. I know many of you think that love hurts a lot, partners are not trustworthy, they don’t understand your feelings or only you love them they don’t. If you really feel all these negative things then please read this each and every word of it, with a practical approach. I am sure, it will help you a lot to enjoy your love rather than regretting it. This is one of the worse things that can happen to anyone, falling in love with someone you can’t have.

The most challenging phase of love is when you fall in love with someone, whom you can’t get or not even think of getting him/her in your life. It really hurts sometimes and you even feel very painful when you miss that person. Loving someone is not in your control, it’s just a feeling and tough to get over it.

falling in love with someone you can't have

Now, it’s up to you that how you take this love in your life, with a positive approach or negative approach? Having a negative approach has kept on crying for that person, who don’t take you more than a friend and not even notice your tears. Another approach is to take the feeling positively and enjoy the moment to the fullest.

How to be in love when another person when another person don’t love you back:

  • Think in a positive way:

If you think that providing tips is very easy and applying them is very difficult than just for 5 days try to apply these tips with a positive approach. No tips can make your life better unless you want it to be better. If you will keep sympathy with yourself and expecting same with others, you won’t able to enjoy the feeling of true love.

  • Expectations:

True Love is always unconditional, then why you start expecting that the person should love you back?

If you are expecting to return the love back as much as you love him/her then it’s not true love. Why can’t you just love that person? Love is neither a business nor a give and take relationship. How you can think of love when you have so many expectations. Even if he/she doesn’t reply to your text messages, emails or phone calls, why you get hurt? You want to convey your feelings and you did that. Don’t ever expect that the person will respond it back otherwise it will hurt you for sure.

  • Don’t force them to love you:

The main reason of not getting the person you love is that they don’t love you or might be committed to someone else. Think once from his/her point of view, you might not be the one he/she is looking for. Everyone has their own choice and they have all rights to choose the one they find interesting and loving to them. You can never force anyone to fall in love with you.

The day you will stop crying for your love, you will start enjoying it. If you find it tough to get over the person you love then waits for my next article for tips to get over someone you love.

But yes, best advice would move on. Life is short and there is no point in waiting and falling in love with someone you can’t have. Instead find someone special, who completes you.

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Hey fellas, I'm Ruchi, and I blog about various relationships advice and problems, that I see in my day-to-day life. Check out my archive...

{ 241 comments… read them below or add one }

Rahul

you are absolutely right in your point, i agree. we should not expect anything but then why some says : never hurt the one who loves you the most ? :( and if the one who knows that we love them, why do they even try to hurt us ?

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Ruchi

Hey Rahul, There are many people who love us but we can’t accepts everyone’s love. when we say no to the one who loves us,it automatically hurts him/her but we have not done it intentionally. The same way happens to us, if we love someone and he/she don’t love us back then we will feel hurt.
WE ARE HURTING OVER-SELF, NOT THAT PERSON.

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parvez khan

hey Ruchi…one thing i want to share with u that why girls are doing that..firstly they make friend and talking like as like he is her boyfriend..and when boy want to share his feeling then she replied we are only friend….
i hate girls…

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abhinav

hii,can u tell why the girls uses heart breaking word for the guy who really love her even after when she know that guy really loves me.

is writing love letter is wrong way of expressing love to a girl?
please reply

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mansi

hey ruchi i want to talk to you smething can you send ur email id to my id

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mansi

hey ruchi i want to talk to you smething can you send ur email id to my id

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Ruchi

Hey Mansi,
You can contact on letstalkrelations@gmail.com.

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Dev

You should never have any expectation from the start. Hug, held hand, showing intimacy scientifically is what girls usually do to their friends. It might be strange for two guys to do that, but for two girls, it doesn’t affect much in society’s eyes/
It’s just the differences in gender.
When someone NEVER said anything about how you both are going out, or never said that they love you as a lover etc. You should never “assume” things. By doing so, you are hurting yourself yet you blaming someone else for it.

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Pavan Somu

What you said is right, but it comes under one side love. In another case it is hard to digest after knowing that the one whom we loves rejects us.

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Mickey

Me & my gf are from differnet castes….my gf’s parents are very orthodox nd sumtimes dey slap her very hard on her little mistakes….nd we r 99% sure dat dey won’t agree on our marriage…also we won’t marry widout dere permission coz we both respect our parents…so plz help me in my problem….we love each other nd can’t live without each other…plz help me…

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neha

Make a choice. Are you too strong enough to marry against their wishes and face the consequences? If your love is stronger than that, just go for it. Parents wouldn’t be initially pleased, but hopefully they’d come round. The world is changing.

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dbyndu

Hey, I am in a relationship with a gal about 5 yrs. Both of us love each other very much. But the problem is: She is nearly 8yrs younger than me. I lied to her that I am 6 & 1/2yrs older than her. I know if I tell her the truth, she may love or hate me. What I care about what her feelings? What her parents will think? What should I do? She become my life … So plz advice me.

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leggellove

Hell man, go for it. I am 9 yrs older than my wife and have been married 50 yrs. A terrable thing can happen in any relationship, thats a lack of passion. Some times inexperience is confused with that. AND, THERE WAS NO SUCH THING AS VIAGRA WHEN I NEEDED IT. At the present time I am fantizizing over Rebecca Hall.

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dbyndu

@leggellove thanks for your comment. I’ll keep your words in my mind. But I asked this ques respective to our families, and our mental stability in future for the long term relation. Anyways Thanks a lot.

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meski

tell her the truth if she loves you she never let you go and if i were you i don’t care about her parent only about her

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Soniya

you are write, I agree with the points u have mentioned and I will follow it from further
Thanks, Thanks a lot

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Dhruv Bhagat

If you force him/her to love you back! Then the person you really love will end up ignoring you forever!!

Be his/her friend and always try to help them! One day, they will know that you are the one who really cares!

This works!

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Jo

nope. not if they are committed and happy with someone else. does not matter.

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Smita

I am in a relation with a guy from the last 5 years but since the last 1 year, I started feeling for another guy. The second guy in my life loves me a lot, but he is not ready to marry me due to some cast issues in his family. Now, I am in such a situation that I can leave everything for this person, but he is wants me to get settled with my previous boyfriend, who is unaware of all these things. What should I do?? Please suggest.

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Ruchi

Hey Smita, when it comes to long term relations you should be transparent and never ever sail in two boats. Since you are in relation with a guy from 5 yrs, I would suggest you to be with him only and share with him whatever is going in your mind. I guess with second guy your relation is just because of attraction and not love. Sometimes we get bore with monotonous routine or relation and thus other people with different lifestyle and nature attracts us. And it shows clearly that other guy is not in mood to have a long term relation with you. Thus its better try to bring spark to your old relation. If you need to discuss more, you can contact me anytime. Wish you luck in your love life.

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D

hey smita, be it 5yrs or 10yrs i too was in a relation for 7yrs nd den fell in love wd sumone who was in a relation 9 yrs. he too loved nd infact told me to move on wd my boyfren bt my love for was so strong dat i cudnt give up on him.. we had lot of fights nd tug of wars bt i kept loving him till da extent that he had no choice bt accept me.. i dint not force him to love me but infact loved him so much dat he had no option bt leave everythin for me. sumtimes bein lil stubborn does wrk. i feel bad dat i left my guy half way bt bein wd him nd havin sumone else in ur heart wud b even worse situation. now i hav completed 3yrs.

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arijit

thnx for posting… gave me a lot of inspiration….

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Basheer

Yeah! Me too

tiredofitall

“True Love is always unconditional, then why you start expecting that the person should love you back?”

This is bullshit. More bullshit western pop psychology. In reality just like everything else. There is respect gain from mutual exchange. Giving and giving without end to others who do not care is not normal. There is no such thing as one way unconditional love. Perhaps women conform to this kind of madness. But for a man to give of himself is a big deal. To have that love taken for granted breeds anger. It’s that simple.

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jonjon

@tired valid point. What to keep in mind is we don’t choose who we fall in love with. Love chooses for us. Its not fair to pass anger onto a woman who wasn’t lovestruck for you as you were for her. There are 2 ways to go with this. You can disassociate yourself try to get away and mend your wounds. Or live with the pain and use your love for her in a positive way by giving unwavering friendship and support and be grateful for being a part of her life. Even if it isn’t the role you were hoping for. You could become best friends with the love of your life which is what I did. Going on 14 years and I won’t lie to you, the pain doesn’t go away but I have. Very fond memories doing things, having fun, just spending time with the love of my life and to have that no pain is too much. I break down and cry about it sometimes I won’t lie. But pick your poison, you can run and miss out on the highest highs toc avoid the lows. For me I’ll take the ups with the downs

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Loveispure

You know not what Love is. this is obvious from your post. You speak from your ego. Love is unconditional, selfless, not to be tainted by your primitive ideas. So many people have no idea what Love is because they cannot see beyond their own ignorance.

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Dev

so you butthurt because the one you love doesn’t love you back?
I think you just selfish here. What if one random strange person suddenly proposed to you? Will you accept them just because they love you? Will you accept anyone just because they love you? What you said is beyond ignorance. You wanted mutual exchange? What gain will the other party have if they don’t love you but you forced your love on them. You’ll be the only one gaining.

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lillyreddy

I don’t know if it good or bad…all i know is I love this guy who is Indian ( and also happens to like me – told my sources) we are amazing friends,
but he is in a relation with a Chinese girl. (i am an indian)
I know love does not have limits.
I boldly expressed my feelings and how deep they are. But also told I can never be ok with his GF and going out with her. I was angry , I yelled at him and cried the whole night. Now I completely stopped talking to him. I feel empty, all i need is him, his love and friend ship , I can not see him with this girl. I feel i am a very possessive and bad person.

But this is coming naturally from inside … i cannot help it … but i love him.

I just left

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Rinku

Dear Lilly

same thing is happening with me. i love a girl very much whenever she talks some other guy i get hurt that time. i have very strong feeling for her, many time i also cried whenever i miss her but she does not know about that she is not in any relationship & does not want to get in any relation she is typical indian girl.
she is just 20 yr old & i am 26. we both know each other for last 6 month
sometime i feel we have huge age difference that’s why i am not able to express my feeling to her, i also feel that she will not understand my feelings if i will tell her

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lillyreddy

I believe in expression. You have to express your love. Though the person is single or in a relation. Get what you want. If he/she does not give it back its fine, but never live with the guilt that you did not express your emotions. Emotion is very strong , its stronger that yourself .
Message to all the 1 side lovers in the world … express your love my dears… there is nothing wrong doing it ……..

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Travis

thank you for your comment.LIFE IS TO SHORT!!!! People listen to what this person is saying.experess your self DONT FEEL THE GUILT of never speaking up for your emotions for someone.I just told my special person how i felt through caution to the wind and yes got rejected–well i feel bad but i feel so much better now and maybe even move on somehow!!!

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CP

just be positive and be happy at the moment for what u have. just rember that nothing is forever. only what u can get at the time can satisfy you for your hunger of the person u want to have. keep bz, be happy, do things that u love, find other alternatives to move on with your life. there is no point to get stuck. that is how i handle my problem.

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jie

….i really like ur point of view…
..its like living the life to its fullest because we can never go back to the past…
…when u show ur feelings to someone to the best u cant theres no regrte bout it….and its up to them to realize it later if they let us go….

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LP

I personally don’t think it’s normal to fall for someone your not with or maybe I’m just cold hearted but love is obviously conditional if it wasn’t than there would be no expectations and maybe people need to take a step back and see if this love is to your benefits but falling in love with someone else’s boy/girlfriend is plain stupid your asking to get hurt and think really hard rather you can steal someone away or do you even know what that person is looking for

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CP

no need to steal, just be yourself. show your love to the person, and thinking not only possession can really matter. no grief, just be positive.

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Loveispure

You speak as if we have a choice. Love is not a choice. Love just is. Love is not about physical attraction or dependent on anything. Love flows naturally from all of us until we try to control it with out feeble minds. Most people will never understand what Love is because they try to make it conform to this world we have created.

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me

I did not even notice I had fallen in love with this man. I’m not sure what love is. I am sure that if he hadn’t pulled me into his net I wouldn’t have fallen in love. There was always that spark but I just ignored it. Seemed too farfetched. Today was the last day I would see him for a while. It hurt. Still does. In my case it’s has to do with social structures interfering with love. I wish we could love who we love with no consequences for either parties.

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Sarah Jane

Hi, (i’ve changed the names)
I’m in love with my ex fiance (violet) still who fell out of love for me, she let another woman in her life and went after her (lucy). I was hurt and angry to begin with but i’m over it now. What hurts is that she has now broke up with the girl (lucy) she went after and ended up dating because the girl (lucy) was sleeping with her ex the entire time and cheating on her. Violet was broken over it all and in this last month she and I have been building up a friendship. But what really hurts is that I had to take my ex into hospital the other night because she overdosed at my house because she didn’t feel like she could be without her. It kills me when she texts me saying how much she misses lucy and how much she wants to see her and I feel like second best, I know i am and i’m okay with it, I just wish she said she missed me, that she loved me. because even though we’re not together and she’s made it very clear she doesn’t love me, i love her so much. I lost my family because of her because they didnt like the fact we were together, im gay and my parents cant handle it. The best thing I would say to anyone who is in love with someone that they can’t have is that if they are an ex, you need to get them out of your life for a few weeks or months until you can look at them without it hurting, or if they’re a friend then tell them because at the end of the day, no matter how old you are, you’ve got too much life left to spend it worrying about everything. I’ve cut myself to bit, punched the crap out of things and cried till I was physically sick, and i’d never want anyone to hurt the way I do. I know there are a lot of people out there that will carry on getting hurt, and I don’t know if anyone will even read this. But I hope it helps. It helps me to know that there are other people out there who understand my pain. I live in hope that violet will remember that she loves me, or even fall in love with me again and she can meet me at the alter one day. Ive dated someone else since her and it’s just not the same, i couldn’t stop thinking about violet and I had to end it in the end because she was just too nice a girl to lead on. I’ve said it a million times before and I’m sure we’ve all heard it, it does get better, it just sure as hell feels like it won’t now. Thank you for reading my story, I read this blog and say everyone’s comments and I just felt the need not to bottle it up for just a moment. <3

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Anil.

I Fell in luv wit my close best frnd…it felt lyk heaven wen she was wit me…she lyk’d me too..but yet she rejected me due to silly reasons…v can’t fallin in luv wit sum1 based on caste or religion..luv just happens. Dat’s nevr in our hand…i’m a christain and d gal i luv is a hindu brahmin. She rejected me bcoz of d caste problem. Yet she’s still close 2 me.lyf’s beautiful wen she’s in it..v r so close 2 eachothr dat every1 in our college thinks dat v both r in a relationship.
its been 4yrs i still can’t stop thinkin abt her.she mean’s d world 2 me. But she doesn’t bother abt my feeling’s. It hurts alot. Not able 2 move on in lyf.
Its not so easy wen v luv sum1 more than our lyf…most gal’s don’t understand d feeling of guys. wen v luv truly.dat gals would mean d whole world 2 him.
i hav nevr forced dat gal 2 luv me or anytin. Till 2day i hav nevr disturbed her either. But wen she’s upset or in any trouble. D 1st person she think’s / call’s is me.
All dis feeling is keepin me a little happy.
No matter wot happen’s atleast a little of dat luv on her would always be in my heart forevr and evr.

Easy 2 tel ‘move on wit ur lyf’
But it’s nevr dat easy and it nevr happen’s too.
i meet dat gal may b once in 3 or 6month’s.
Yet d tym i c her make’s me fall in luv wit her again and again.
It’s true dat der’s pleasure in pain too

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Vivek

sailing in the same boat. she is my best friend, but can’t have her because of different caste. she feels for me (not the same way I do), cares for me, but going to marry someone of her caste soon. she is still my good friend and I still love her without expectations. love the person, accept the reality and be happy for her is the only key to move on.

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sweetstoney

I’m in love with a guy who doesn’t have time for me I always call,text him but he doesn’t reply back my heart is so painful I can’t even concentrate what should I do about this matter? :-(

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CP

that means he is uninterested and hints u to move on. there are more guys out there that suit u better, why get stuck with something u know that is not going to happen. its a waste of time.

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jie

ur right!enjoy life..that hurts but later on when u busied urself with many things it will pass like a wind…

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Sarah

I was really close friends with this guy he was more of
A play and never thought about love but than
He ended up loving me to a point were he’ll
Do anything for me i was scared of him hurting
Me so I used to hurt him only cause I was scared
Of a broken hear but I ended up falling for him
and when I went overseas
He kinda changed and used to call me up
But always hurting me. Which changed me of
Being my self around him. This guy whoz
My brothers mate ended up coming to ask for
Me in marriage and when I told the guy that my
Brothers mate wants me tell your family about
Me he wanted to come and he ended up telling his
Mum but my mum wasn’t happy about him
Cause he was a different reilge my mum didn’t
Want to talk to me any more and all my friends
Told me that he was with me well he was
With other girls and I believed them and the
Guy that wanted me for marriage his family
Treated me like a princess and I didn’t want my
Mum being upset with me and I started hear shit
About the guy I love and the things he does
Made me back away and I really don’t know
How I ended up with my brothers mate and
My brothers mate is a really nice guy it’s just
That I’m still in love with the other guy and I know
I hurt him and I didn’t mean to so much things
Heppen that hit me through depression sometimes
I ended up get enaged to my brothers mate
And sometimes he makes me forget the world
By than again my heart cry for the guy I think I’m
Still in love what sound I do I really need your
Help right now :( And I just find out he was with any
One and it was all a lie but some say that he was
And others say that you also liked
Your sister cause he was really close friends
With he but than again real eyes realize real
Lie please help me I broken up with my finance
But it doesn’t feel right leaving him I like my fiancé
A lot he treat me like a princess but my
Heart still crys for the other guy. Tell me what should
I do

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catie

the person i love is my best friend and she is absolutely amazing and all i want for her is to find someone she’s happy with, whether it’s me or someone else. she’s changed my life and she deserves to be with someone she loves. i wrote her a letter the other day and told her how i really felt and what i believe she deserves because she doesn’t think she deserves to be happy or to fall in love. i told her that she deserves everything she can get out of life, including to fall in love and to be loved in return. i will probably never get over her, but i really don’t want to. she makes me happy and that’s all that matters.

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Alexis

I felt the same way, my BFF always said that if one if us was a guy we’d go out… I always agreed with her, but thought to myself: why do we have to be opposite sexes? I guess she’s not interested in girls… I’m not really either, but I love her. All you can really do is love them unconditionally. I want her to be happy too. I tell her how beautiful she is all the time and she believes me. Sometimes I think we forget how much we take care of eachother and get to absorbed in life and other relationships. Just make sure your friend knows you care at the least.

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Loveispure

You get it. You let it flow through you without grasping too tightly. Your friend is lucky to have you in her life. You are special. When you say “I will never get over her, but I really don’t want to” you are speaking from two different points of view. Not getting over her is your desire to be loved in return going unfulfilled but not wanting to is your heart being connected with her no matter what is going on physically. Just love her as you do. Everything will follow the path it is meant to follow.

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Leach

I’m in love with a guy from 3 and half years.But I felt that he was changing from January in this year.I asked him what was the reason for that….He told me that we are not matching and lot of reasons.Finally he said that he want to break up.I feel really sad….I thought that he will come back to me soon….but before 2 weeks I found that he has another affair with a girl who work at the same office last 6 months.It was really hurt me knowing that he cheated me last 6 months.After I knew about his affair I met him.Now he tell me that he is still love me but he can’t leave his new girl friend.I’m still love him very much………I feel that he also love me….I can’t concentrate what should I do now……

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dan

is what many guys do, and maybe another guy who really loved you couldnt get close to you and hesuffered, because you were “with a boyfriend”..while he was just hangin around and looking for another girl…..you must not fall into this trap again, always talk to him as if you were gettin married, if he runs, he didnt loved you that much…….be wise!

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Rose

I am involved with a man I can’t have. I fell in love…But he will return to his country and marry, and I will stay here with a empty heart. The love I feel towards him is unconditional, I love him so that I will let him go. I want him to be happy even if we can’t be. Though it’s hard as he says he loves me too, I wish him to be happy and prosperous. I have never felt for someone to wish to see them happy and not hurt. Finally experienced loved and even though there will be no happy ending for me, I dont regret any minute of the time we had together. So loving someone and not expecting anything in return is right but doesn’t mean its easy.

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jie

i id experienced the smae experience as u are..it really hurts..but bcause i loved him so much i understand him….i let him go eve if i left alone….for i dont regret that once in mylife we give chance to what we feel…

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Rose

But why is it that we always lose. even whne we give our heart…

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Montee

Sweetstoney, so am I! A good friend informed me the male loves the chase and if love comes to easily to him then he quickly loses interest. I suggest you stop calling and texting him. As difficult as it is focus on being present in your interests and work. Go out and meet new people, join activities where you will be involved with and meet many different types of people. Invite special friends to the place where you live or to meet at a coffee shop…invite this special person (he may or may not come – don’t hold out any illusions he will) but at least he will see you doing more without him and enjoying life. The more interesting you become/the more interesting you are to others. Funny how easy it is to give the advice then to employ it … good luck to us both as we sail these murky waters. Love and peace -

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Narsis

This page and your points are so true & I want to tell U s.th that may looks I`m just joking but I love someone that i saw him just 3 times in my life & don`t know anything a bout him i even never speak to him, i saw him in a ceremony and since then it`s a bout 3 year that i did not see him again. he travels to another country & now there is a condition that i can see him again in another ceremony, my heart tells me to go & see him but my mind tells me not to do it, I never let anybody to be my friend & I don`t know even he saw me or not! I want to ask you i should go there or not I really miss him so much but If I see him It gets harder for me to forget him, please if you can help me, tell me what to do. Thank U so much for reading.

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A Person.

I have fallen in love with a guy, there is 3 year difference in age but thats not what Im sad about.
I live in UK and he lives in America and he doesnt even know that I love him, we are close friends from when he used to live in my city…we keep in touch and occasionally see each – other.
I dont know what I should do, if i should tell him or just move on and be friends….or what.

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Ruchi

If you are close friends then he will surely understand your feelings. You must tell him what you feel for him and wish you luck for same :)

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Alex

I think it’s important to stop forcing the relationship in your head. Not everything the person you love does is intended towards you, so try to stop building up your life or relationship together. This is kind of like “think positively,” there are many things the person who you’re in love with has probably taught/showed you and instead of using those things for love of that person, use them as things to love about yourself. The rejection of onesided love is painful but it is not anyone’s fault. Self love and time cure it. Just be willing to let go.

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Rakshanda Samin Suhaa

thnx for the tips……………but hey can i ask you something??what if i love a person, and that person doesn’t even know me??and i can’t even say it to him………like i can’t confess…..its like he doesn’t even know i exist……..what will i do ??

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manisha

hey i was engaged from last one year , always some small fights would appear between us … as causal couples. but in this fight he msged me that he doesnot want to marry me … and this is our end. its been 5 days he niether butcalled me nor msged me …. i m missing me …. dat tym i tried to make explain many things but he took this decision in anger ….. what should i do now ? plz help

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Ruchi

Hey Manisha, it’s better that you talk to him directly and clearly what he wants from this relation. Right now you are just engaged and thus can move on but once you will get married it’s tough to break relations. I know its sounds quite rude but this is high time to clear things up otherwise after marriage such fights might ruin your whole life. Marriage is really beautiful only if you are married to someone you truly love.
If you need to share your problems, you can contact us anytime.

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nilu

for the past year and a half, I have been in love with a coworker that is ten years older than me. At the time we met, I was seventeen and he waited patiently for me to turn eighteen, before he started pursuing me. During this entire period, I fell in the sort of love, where somehow every single thing I do is for that person. He seeps into every activity of my life. I can’t do anything without thinking about how it affects the way he perceives me. We work together four days a week, so I constantly see him. We have built a good friendship. We have been together intimately only a handful of times. He only sees me as a young girl that he can hook up with whenever he pleases. He does not want to be in a relationship with me and I don’t think he even respects me enough to consider it. Although, I know he is attracted to me sexually, I honestly don’t know how else even thinks of me. I don’t know if he even really respects me as a person. Anyway, I am in love with this guy, who I know will NEVER want me back the way I want him. The worst part is that I know I need to move on, but It is so difficult because my desire to be with him is trumping my reason. I am happy in almost every other realm of my life, except this one. But this situation takes such a toll on me. I need to get the fuck over this guy!!!!

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Ruchi

Hey Nilu, Good thing is that you know that the guy is just playing with your feelings. You need to be brave and have to move on. You are young and can spent time with friends of your own age. I know it’s tough to move on when you have intimate relationship with someone but we have to be practical. He is not worth for your feelings and when it comes to see him regularly then this article will surely help you out: http://www.letstalkrelations.com/how-to-get-over-someone-you-see-everyday.html

Reply

Foysol

Thank you a lot Ruchi. But I think that this type of one sided love can be regarded as the “Platonic” love not the “True (or higher) love”. As the “Platonic” love is possible to do by general guys why can not we expect respond for them?
As instance- a few days ago I’ve fallen in love of a girl. The girl is too junior than me. She is only at 12 Where I’m at 23. Yes she is a child. I’ve no sense of passion towards her and I don’t want to get her as my life-Partner but, beloved. She is well developed physically and (perhaps) mentally. She perceives that I love her strongly. She can make a reply but does not. I know that towards her it is just not my “Metalphysical” love but, “Platonic” though I want a respond form her.
Would you kindly describe this fact to help me? Thanks in advance.

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Eriza

hey, I need some advice…
Well…there’s this cute-handsome boy who’s one of my closest friends…we’re very good friends and I share everything with him…we often text each other in facebook, that’s the only way we talk…things were going fine, but, I think I’m now in love with him…he reads in the same cls with me in my college…n we’re both 17…
The problem is, I don’t wanna tell him that I’ve got huge crush on him…
And I’m also confused because he doesn’t want to be in relationship…
But I assume he also likes me…a lot in fact!
Tell me, what do I do? Should I get over with him? But I’ve loved him too much to let him go…:(

Reply

Ruchi

Hey Erica, If you love him then you must tell him about your feelings and make sure you say it very naturally, I mean don’t force him to say yes too..Make sure if he is not ready for this relationship then you need to behave normal and talk to him the way you always do. This way at least your friendship wont be ruined and if he is a nice guy he will surely treat you as a good friend and understand your feelings.

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Eriza

We ended up together… :) thanks…:)

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Ruchi

Congrats Eriza.. Happy for you :)

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smita

Hey I’m in love with a guy for past eight years,but due to some unavoidable circumstances we could not get married to each other,now we still in relationship,but our partners are not aware about the fact .we both are unhappy coz we both still can’t live without each other but at the same time we cnt give divorce due to family pressure.but from my end I am determinned that even though I am unable to marry the person I love,at the same time I’m also not ready to ruin my husbands life,coz I know that even if I dnt give divorce to my husband I will nvr be able to give full justice or the actual rights which my husband actually deserve.my husband loves me but I feel very guilty that I’m cheating him badly,my mom is aware about everything ,she always try to make me understand dt u try to love ur husband it will gradually happen ,but I I belive dt forcefully I can’t love someone,coz I dnt want to lead a comprising life,ratHer I guess I will be happy beling alone for the rest of my life,coz I can’t even think about any other guy except whom I love wether he marry me or not,pls help n tell me wether I’m right or wrong?

Reply

Ruchi

Hi Smita, One thing comes to my mind about you is you are “totally confused” and actually it’s very natural. We belong to a society where many of us don’t love their husband but we do care for them and their feelings. Now about your lover, I would suggest, that you break up with him. That guy was not having guts to marry you that time.. no matter what the condition it was and married someone else. Being a boyfriend is very easy and it’s really tough to be a husband. You can’t sail on two boats at a same time.
Remember that your husband was there with you in your good and bad times and unless you won’t leave your bf you won’t able to find love with your husband. Only you can take decision, either think about you and your coward bf ( I am saying coward because he don’t want to loose you and don’t have guts to tell her wife about you) or think about your husband and family who loves you unconditionally.

I am sorry to be harsh but you have to be practical and be strong to take decision. I understand it’s tough and if you need more suggestions you can contact us anytime.

Reply

takeshi

i fell in love with a girl who’s my classmate in college and a close friend. she broke up with her ex a few years ago and i heard one time from my other friend that she does not want to be in a relationship for the moment.
its kinda sad for me because i had a plan on telling her my feelings and how she’s amazing to me. we study together, text each other, and talk about anything we like for a long time. yet im not sure for now if i still have to tell her just for expressing my love or should i just bottle them up.

im in need of advices :( she the first girl from whom i fell deeply in love with :(
thank you

Reply

Ruchi

Hey Takeshi, when you love that girl so much and you both are good friends then you must tell her about your feeling and give her time to think. Friends do have understanding and I am sure she will respond in good way. If she is not ready for love relation and make her comfortable and just try to continue your relation like now. I know its tough but you must it give a try and that too friendly and without any pressure on her.

Reply

honeybee

hey guys..recently I met a cool guy in my campus who is actually my good friend’s bestie..I have problem when I coincedentally met him, I feel awkward n shy.I think I’ve fallen for him.but im not sure about his feeling towards me, eventhough he ever approach me before this.what should I do to make him closer to me? meanwhile, Im just hoping that we can be bit closer.I don’t have intention to make him as mine,I do responsible with my feelings, but sometimes I always see an end everytime I start to like someone..

Reply

Ruchi

Hey Honeybee, There are no tricks useful to attract any guy towards yourself. It’s very natural that if you love someone you would be shy and nervous in front of him or may behave insane but you have to give it a start. Try to start normal conversation, may be about similar interests and you can be good friends. And with your statements above, I guess its just attraction and you will able to handle your feelings soon. Good luck :)

Reply

honeybee

thanx ruchi for the advice..its just sometimes i feel insane and too much awkward when i thinking of him..its such a terrible feeling..thanx anyway..:)

Reply

Eriza

Thank you, Ruchi. I’ll let you know if we end up together. Wish me luck! :)

Reply

trina

I think true is love is when fall in love with someone that love you back, love is something you can explain, think about that person, he/she is thinking about you. love is something special between, it something that’s a beautiful feeling between the two.You have watch your heart, Because you can love someone that don’t love you back. I was in three year relationship, with him. He did not love me , He was in love with his ex,that hurts. just saying don’t waste your time,trying make some love you. love come nature.

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Blissful

It happens to me, it is very hard..but the article is right, find other ways to he happy and keep it moving.

Reply

anita

just love it …i think nw i will be able to live well ..without any expectation….moving on doesnt seems to be possible for nw bt yes loving in a postive way and that too without any expectation is !! loving him has given me so much strength and has made me a better person…with each day i feel i love him less …need to love him more !!

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Swetha

I am a girl.I am studying in college.I love another girl in my class.She also loves me too..Though we belong to the same class,we dont talk much in class because of our friends who are possessive over us.But once we get back home,we text and share everything.About 2 weeks back we had a fight and we dint text each other.And then she told me her schoolmate started texting her a month back and they just text each other and she told me they were just friends.But one day I saw her opening his email id and checking something in that.I dint ask her about it though.I felt kind of jealous.She even knows there are people after me.So just to make her jealous,I told her I keep texting my friend till 2 at night and she kept asking me who it was.But then I refused to tell her who!So everytime she texted me at 10,I used to tell bye and she thought I was texting someone else.Now she has gone home because we have got holidays.I tried texting her,but she doesnt reply that soon as she used to before.But when she is in hostel,she replies me immediately.I love her too much.I just dont know if she has lost interest in me or is she trying to play the game back on me.She generally does not text first.But still she sends me the good morning message as she has always been doing.Do you think I should get over her(I am obsessed with her now!) or should I talk to her?I even told her to stop textng that guy during class hours and she did stop!I told her how much I love her and she knows it.But i dunno for the past 2 days I feel she is avoiding me.She has a feeling I have better people around me because I used to tell her that way.But the truth is I love her and only her.How do I tell her!Everytime I am the one who texts first.I just need her!Should I leave her or tell her the truth that she is the most important for me?!I alwayz feel awkward to text first maybe because I disturb people.I need her and I want her to be mine.What should I do?Or should I even get ahead in my life forgetting her?!

Reply

Abhishek

Yes u r true … but to be pragmatic it is really difficult to try this, like in my case, my best and closest friend is a girl, we talk everyday, we text everyday. one day she called me and told me indirectly that i should never fall in love with her.. and without thinking i said yes. But at the next moment i was all in tears, somehow i ended my conversation and at that very moment i realised how much i love her… yes i love her from the core of my heart.. we r still good friends.. no best friends.. but what ails me and nails me is the fact that i can never get her.. atleast thats what i feel.. despite all my love.. all she sees in me is just a friend.. i am totally depressed and at the same time i find it very difficult to pretend that everything is fine with me….

Reply

Sonalie

Falling in love with your best friend is the best thing in this world. I love him with all my heart. I never felt the real meaning of falling in love till I met him. His voice, his presence, and everything about him make me so happy. He is so amazing. His heart has no price tag. I love every thing about him. No one in this world can take a place in my heart except him. I cannot find one fault about him. He is a perfect human being. Even if he gets angry there is mellow behind his anger. when he is happy his laughter and his joy gives my tears of happiness. I love him so much. Who ever he loves without a doubt I can love them too. He made me person to understand after all there are good people in this world. He comforts me when I am down. Every thing about him makes me so happy. His smile takes away all my hurts and pain. I feel like I won the biggest diamond but I cannot have it. He knows how much I love him. At times he is hurt in his own way. He pushed me away many times but we both cannot go away from each other. One day I have to go away from him. No matter how hard it may be. I love him with all my heart and without any expectations. An unconditional love means his happiness is my happiness.. God I love him. I never knew the meaning of a real love till I met him. He is my angel and my love of my life. He is my true love no one else can come close to me in my life. Only he has all the right. I adore him I respect him and I love him. But my life has to end without him. It hurts, it breaks my heart but at the end he has no choice. Only I know he will have me in his heart forever:). I thank god for him. I want the best for him. I want his dreams to be fullfiled. I hope if there is second life he will be mine and I will be his:)

Reply

Sonalie

I love this site

Reply

neil

Hi everybody…
what happens when 2 persons married each one from his side, fall in love?
whatt happens when a man do everything to make the girl fall in love, and then, when everything is clear, he goes back…
when he approach and go back, approach and go back,,,, isnt this manipulation of feelings?
why someone can say: i love you, i miss you, but we can’t….
thank you for your answers..

Reply

Ruchi

Hey Neil,
If someone is married and fall in love with someone else, it’s not a sin. Sometimes it hard to love your spouse but you must clear things with them and find a way to save marriage otherwise move on.
If a boy is coming and going, then he is not sure what he wants and he is not worth entertaining again in life coz love is not a game.
I don’t get ur third question, what you mean by you can’t say? scared of expressing or something else?

Reply

Saint

hey Ruchi im in a bad situation since a long time would be great some advices from u but not here if u dont mind

Reply

Ruchi

Sure, U can mail me on letstalkrelations@gmail.com.

Reply

andrewm

I have known this girl for quie a while. She recently asked mw to go with her to a formal/dance that is coming up. I really liked thos girl last year but nothing came of it though we were still good friends. After she asked me to the formal we got talking again and we were getting more flirty with eachother.. Which never happened before. So we kwpt talking and before we knew it we both had very strong feelings for eachother. We went out a few times n each time was amazing! We both loved every minute it n it was hard for both of us to leave eachother. We have bwen like this for a while now and we live eachother so much. But basically she is a christian wheras i not.. We can’t be together because of it.. Her parents recently found this out aswell and told her she wasn’t allowed to see me anymore. We can’t even be friwnds because she isn’t even allowed to be friends with pwople who aren’t christian amd people who don’t go to the same type of church. We are both heartbroken and it’s extremely hard to move on becaise we are eachothers best friends we can’t stop talking to eachother.. And i feel like i can’t atop talking to her other reasons that i can’t mention. We don’t know how to deal with it all because we need ro move on but we can’t lose eachother as friends. Any advice would be greatly appreciated!

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Christian

Im in love with my best friend who i’ve known for almost 5 years now but she only loves me like a brother. I believe she does have some feelings for me but she’s afraid of messing up our friendship. I don’t want to love her because i know she’s never going to let us even try but i can’t help having these feelings. She’s always in my thoughts and even in my dreams sometimes. I can totally see us together and happy like 15/20 years from now married with kids. How do i make the pain go away. I get depressed now every time i hear one of my favorite songs, “Let Me Love You” by Ne-Yo. Someone please tell me what to do.

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Christian

P.S.- The reason i get depressed from that song is because it explains my feelings for her perfectly

Reply

Arnab

i really enjoyed ur post,,u r r8,,,i will strt following ur steps,,,lets c wht hppns nxt

Reply

Ang

I truly love my ex who I left for someone else – I know I screwed up completely. We got back together but her kept throwing up the past time and time again and as a result we split. Subsequently he has had numerous relationships short lived – he is a total cad sleeping with women and then moving on. He texts me when he is with them reminiscing about the times we had together. He txt me recently asking me to marry him – whilst on date with his girlfriend for gods sake. He interferes with me relationships but he doesnt want me. I am in bits because I still love him. He is a total cad and I know he is playing with my heart. He is tearing me apart.

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sushma sukruthi

i hav certain feelings for a guy in ny college n m nt sure weder its a crush or love.
M in d 2nd year of mbbs n he is in PG 1rst year.
i always think if him n everytym i walk in d campus i wish i cud see him n i get so depressed wen i dnt gt t see him fr even day. N moreover i get so jealous wen i c him talking t any other girl.
N he probably doesnt even know i exist. N each tym i see him i wish he wud notice me n i jus cant stop blushing wen i get t see him.
plzzz do help me. m very confused.

Reply

Ruchi

Sushma, There is very thin line between love and crush. First thing to do is go and tell your feelings. May be you have good luck and if he is good boy, he won’t make fun of your feelings. Getting blushed, jealous, nervous are part of loving someone, so I would say enjoy the moment and do express your feelings.

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M

im agree with u on some of ur points , im loving someone i cant have, but i never thought of finding someone else instead of him
he is my friend and he has a gf , i know he will never love me back cuz we r just friends
its so hurt to see him together with his gf , i may sounds jealous but plz think on my view
i feel so hurt when he doesn’t reply me, once he text me that he was sick and i couldn’t control my tear , i cried cuz he was sick? , that’s crazy , am i that madly falling in love ?
and im sure this isn’t crush , cuz i have crush on some other ppl before they just gone after month or week but this is different!
i miss him every second of a day , every time , make me wanna cry whenever i thought ab him , sometimes make me smile also
i never wanted to love him , we first met as friends he treats me really nice, we hang around together , text everyday , talk on phone everyday made me madly fall in love like now
but for him.. it didn’t, i might b the one for him to text or talk when hes bored.
we r working together as partners and he needs me , mayb thats why he treats me nice but im tried my best cuz i love him a lot
and i cant tell him that i love him cuz it will destroy our friendship and if he knows we cant even talk or meet like now
once i deleted all his photo and thousand of long msgs but after that day i feel sad and regret
what should i do ??? i cant let this go and keeping this feeling really hurt me a lot :(

Reply

venny

i have never felt love before and on a recent trip i took, i finally. met a long time friend face to faxe. ive always felt something for him but until i met him face to face wasnt until my heart felt a sense of emotion i have never felt before. he smiles we have wonderful memlories, but i am not. sure though i think he only seems me as just a. friend. its been a 7 year long distance friendship, but the beginning of something im not sure its love yet. i cant stop thinking about him, i miss him now, i relive our. moments together, and cant say i didnt cry after a happy conversation with him knowing i dont have him face to face at. any given time. i try to think positively, i try to make the best out of what i have, and i dearly try to not expect anything in return, its hard. its hard not to expect a reply to an email sent over a month ago, but when you randomly talk on the phone everything seems perfect with cheer in his voice, its confusing. he is in a country over 7000 miles away but my heart calls out to him. i dont know how it started and i donf know how it will end. right now as i read in an online article, “i want to blow my 30th candle holding his hand”. its only 5 months away and though he has never been here, i wish by a miracle or surprise like a prince in a fairy tale he comes as a surprise and takes my breath away. i slowly blow my. 30th candle no longer wishing but thanking God for making my wish come true. I will not hold back from loving someone else in the meantime if it comes, but one for now can only hope.

Reply

Vibhor

I’m a 21 years old male from Bareilly. I love my best friend from about 5 years. I proposed her last year but she told me that she was in a relation with one of my friends. And we continued to be friends. Yeah, her boyfriend, got somewhat angry that time. I never forced her for anything. Yet, I never stopped loving her and she knows it. She cares for me and suggesting me not to love her all the time.
Everytime when something goes wrong or she becomes upset, she calls me, b’coz she trusts me.
One day, about 3 months ago, she told me that she feels that her bf is cheating on her. She was very upset about it and need a friend. Obviously I was there. Now I’m helping her with all that I have and as a friend but something in me still wants some more.
I don’t know if she can ever forget him and try for another (hell, none other than me)

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Lavvis

The guy i love is 4 years younger than me… I really do not know what is in his mind… It has been a year since the day i know him… I think was really love at first sight… It so weird… Knows i love him more than anyone else but he just keep saying he doesnt like me when he is always there when i need someone to talk to…. Now i just lost… What to do… He just want to remain as friends…. This the first time i crazily in love w a guy… :(

Reply

LonelyHeart

OMG! i never thought there are people out there; who feel the same way that i do. i have a chinese frend since hS; we clearly had a spark when were together. when our frends started to notice our closeness that’s the time i started feeling awkward about me and him. then when prom night came; he dance with his crush i feel happy for him and after one night when i call him for a chat, he told me that his crush ask him ” if him and me are a couple” he clearly said NO. but when i heard, i feel so awful inside. I feel that im falling for him and thats a NO-NO. so i started keeping my distance and he notice it he got confuse…but i couldnt careless coz he told me that his going to china to study in his college. so i dont wana got stuck in corner. we didnt speak to each other after that; then i was suprise when i got into college he was in the same school as i am “is this what they call destiny” my frends say so…we rebuild our frendship in college then our professor ask him what is the status of our relationship he said “No special relationship at all” what a jerk! i drop him off again n we didnt communicate again after 5yrs later we had our own life. destiny brought us bak together we started dating as frends…his asking me if i have chinese girl frends that i can mix up wit him, of course i sed NO…coz he wants to have his own family soon. I really thought i could handle this feelings of just a frend but deep down how i wish we could be more…i tot destiny is giving me the open road to finally tell him what i feel and so i did when he ask me if i iike him i sed YES and he sed he like me too; but if ONLY if im chinese but im not… my whole worlds torns apart… i feel stupid in hoping that he will see me the other way around but he didnt… and now his married to a chinese girl and he even invited me on his wedding…
Did i Go?! definitely NO!… my bff told me i should coz im just being so overly dramatic about it, we are frends after all… but for me knowing that he knows how i feel about him… dont u think it will be STUPID if i still gone to his wedding… seeing him happy and me lonely and alone.

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madddy

hi,

I need serious help from all of you. I am married and have a kid.I used to work in a company where i met a girl.we were good friends initially we have started texing and calling.That girls had a boyfriend in she was in relationship too.suddenly we have fallen in love and it seems like she love me the most.but we knew that we can never be together.I have stoped talking to her and left the office and she has joined a new office where she found another guy and she started loving him.I am feeling very jelous and her family does not want me to contact her and she says she love me a lot yet she has to sacrifice since here family will never allow to get married.I can not sop my feelings for here and hoping i could kil myself…i can not stop loving her and feeling like i can not survive without her. Its been many days we are not in contact i miss her every day.Please suggest me what to do?

Regards
Maddy

Reply

Ruchi

Hey Maddy,

First of all, suicide is never a solution for anything only cowards do that.
Second thing, you have a kid it means that you have a partner too then you don’t you try to revive that relationship. It would be much better than trying to die because of a girl who is not stable in any relationship.

“Earlier she had a bf, then she found you then she changed office there she found someone else and after that also she says she loves you.”

Come on, this girl is just keeping you as an option. And you are falling for her, cause you are feeling lonely. Try to rethink about this relation, it will take time but I would suggest to concentrate on your kid and his mother… otherwise your as well as that kid’s life will also ruin.

Reply

Kate

Hi Maddy :(

So sorry your suffering i know how you feel.

I really dont know what the solution is, i wish i did as i would feel happier too.

xx

Reply

maddy

Dear Kate,

Thanks for the understanding the feeling.I am trying to recover myself from such situation since i know i am the only person who need to handle such situation. no suggestion can help you if u love the person a lot and there is only one solution and that seems impossible “let the person fly if she wants” do not contact change your name consider that the person who used to lover her or him is no more alive ..we all know suicide is never a solution but its suffering is also kinda suicide, i wish c could understand yet let the person be happy without you knowing u are the best c could ever have.Once a cheater always a cheater..

Reply

madddy

Thanks a lot ruchi,

I am really grateful for the kind of advice.Yes i am trying to forget her asap i can.
she only used me and and i am only focusing on the kid at the moment.I used to love that girl a lot but i will forget her.she took the advantage since she knew my wife does not love me and we have some problems and she started showing her care and affection on me and she wanted to marry me but then a guy enters and things were changed. now i have stopped doing text n calls to her and want her to feel that how much i have loved her.I will not do anything which can ruin my kids life yet it was a lesson for me i will never forget…seriously i was fool that i love this girl and spent my precious time.but i can not forget her.i feel lonely but i can survive for the kid.God Bless her for the new partner.

Reply

arijit

you can’t be “just friends” with some one you LOVE from your deepest corner of your heart…. but instead we can just think that this is what is meant to be… and try to let that person free and be happy to think that person is happy without you… all of us wants to see that smile of our love… we can’t forget our true love but but we also can’t see them with someone else..

can you just answer me… when a girl says” i would be yours in your next life but this life i can love you but can’t accept u …you are too late.. and she also admits she loves me but she can’t be mine”…. what should i do in such a situation?????

Reply

Ruchi

Hey Arjit,

That girl is totally not in love. I guess she is just telling you to make you feel good but there are few things in you which she dont like and can’t ignore.
Try to keep a distance from that girl until you move on with your life and strong enough to live happy even when she is not with you. It’s tough but later it will make your life easier.

Reply

Kate

HELP me please! I am going mad. I am completely in love with my best friend for the last 1.5 years. We live together so I see her every day and we work together too. She is the most incredible woman I have ever known in my life and It is making me so unhappy. My heart breaks every day when her BF comes over and I ahve to see them together. She is my life and I just want to be with her. I think I would rather end my life than live a life without her. Her BF wants to move in with us but this is the worst thing that could happen. Noone understands me and how hard this is and I often am nasty to her when things get too much and I cant handle it. I hate myself for this. I know that people will say i need to move out etc but i cant bare to be away from her for 1 minute :(

Reply

Ruchi

Hey Kate,

You need to be strong. You can’t force anyone to love you and you need to move on with your life. Try to find new friends and keep yourself busy with other things you like. It’s tough but gradually it will work.

Reply

melly

Ok this is not really my situation. Has anyone ever been in this situation? I have known this guy for 2 years and i dont have his phone number or anything. I hardly ever talk to him excep for the fact that he is president of our class and i am vp and we have to. I was in a play with him and i thought i would get to know him more ,but absoluty nothing happened. I really want to get know him more because he is completly and totally out of my leage he has his group and friends and totally doent need me acting like an idiot evry time he is around ( wich is all the time). Plus every time i try to talk to him i freeze and sound like an idiot i pretty sure he thinks i hate him because i always aviod him. It has been 2 years and i really think should be over this by now ,but i am not. I just want to get over him so that when we happen or need to have a conversation about somthing i dont flipout. Please help!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Reply

Ruchi

Hey Melly,

I am not feeling bad for you, actually its kind of sweet.. it’s first step towards love. It’s totally OK to freeze in front of guy whom you love and act weird. Here is one thing, try to talk to him, instead of avoiding him. Once you are comfortable, you can let him know how you feel for him. Make sure you don’t force him to love you back.

It’s been 2 years gal, he wont kill you knowing that you love him. If he makes fun of you, he is not good guy. So atleast let him know.

You might not be his type, but then also give it a try he might looking for a girl like you or atleast a good friend. Miracle happens :)

If you need any advice you can contact us anytime.

Reply

Chlo

I nee help!
I’ve likedthia lad for agessssss and weve fell out and argued so many times because he would hurt me and screw me over! Since I’ve liked him hea got with this girl 3 times now! And we’d always fall out over it and not speak to each other for ages! I’ve been out with him once for a week and he meant so much to me:( but it wasnt working out and we fell out again after that but made up once again! I last saw him in July and we met up several times! But hadnt seen each other since even though he lives down the road, I can’t get over him and I say I hate him but I can’t and my friends don’t like him either as they say he’s wrong for me and always going to hurt me! For the 3rd time he got with the same girl but we fell out q s it was a massive fall out as he got his best girl mates on me and we didn’t speak for over a month or two I then saw him for th first time since July on Monday and he looked at me and looked away! I still really like him I then saw him the next day with his mates and I was with mine and he asked where we going but we ignored him and left (we hadn’t spoke for ages) he started to speak to me again and we got close like nothing ever happened.. We met up the next day with friends and it was the best and cutest day I’ve had in ages and I can’t even explain it but we flirted alot! We spoke all night after we went home after being with him for like all day and then today we spoke in the morning as he spoke to me and then he was with his girlfriend so we didn’t speak until he then spoke to me again at night and called me cute and stuff because I remember loads about him I dont know what to so because I love him so much and I miss him and I wish I could be with him eveyday but I can’t I just feel like crying because it’s not fair and we have so many memories. Please help:’(

Reply

T.

I’ve fallen in love with someone..He actually asked me out a year and a bit ago, and I turned him down. Now, it’s as if it’s completely the other way round, we talk to eachother nearly every day but I don’t think he likes me the way he did before. I hate asking people out, and confessing my feelings to people, but, if he even did like me again which he probbaly doesn’t, I doubt he will get the confidence to ask me out again, seeing as I turned him down before.

Reply

Ruchi

Hey T,
When it comes to love you need to keep your ego aside and it’s really a bad habit that you can’t confess your feelings. That guy asked you out earlier and now he is just trying to be your friend but somewhere inside he might love you. He is hiding his feelings coz he dont want to ruin your friendship.
Anyways, try to change your attitude and ask him out. Such attitude is really bad for long term relationships.

Reply

Nilkanth

I met this nice girl one and half year back. I got the feeling that she liked me too, but I was not sure whether it’s as a good friend or more than a friend. After few months, I expressed my feelings, to which she replied; she doesn’t believe in love. she liked me too, but her family will never accept because of caste issue, though she didn’t know what future has for her and her parents might change there views as her time is running out for marriage considering her age 30. My age is also 30. I accepted what she said with a little hope. After that, we shared many good moments, started building trust for each other, I supported her in any situation whenever she needed me and eventually we became best friends. After few months, she got good marriage proposal and she accepted it. I cried for losing her and she cried, feeling guilty for hurting my feelings. I asked her, what-if in future she realize that she has same feeling, to which she replied she will confess to someone. I accepted her decision, never hurt her and continued to love her unconditionally. After a month, she broke her engagement because some horoscope issues. After that for few months I started noticing more care from her, I never raised the old topic again as I didn’t want to lose her friendship, but it was like she started feeling something. She knew and still knows, I still feel for her. She accepted that we share some special bonding and she respect my feelings and trust me so much than anyone, but can’t be with me. Recently, she got engaged with someone and after sharing the news, she said, she is one of the reason of my pain and she won’t be alright thinking that for her whole life. According to her, marriage is just a stage of life for her. It’s hard, but I’ve started accepting reality, not thinking anything about why it happened and I’m happy for her. I can’t hate her for what she decided for her life. Now for me, there are few questions which I keep asking myself but not getting answers. People said, true loves means, you need to love someone unconditionally and without any expectations. I tried doing that and still doing it. But if that is the case, how one can move on? I am not saying, I can’t move on.. I am moving on, but I believed in true love since I got mature and it’s not easy to left behind what you really believe, because something not worked out. If two people share such a good bonding, than why caste issue still major issue in our country. I’m sure if caste issue was not there, she would have accepted my proposal since long and she too said that. But that’s not the point here. My point is, if feeling is true, why such issue blocks someone to follow the heart. Many times, we say; follow your heart; which is not easy for everyone; but if someone tries to follow it; people will say it’s not practical or you are not moving on. The care I felt so far from her was more than a friend and sometime you just feel it, but it’s fact that after her engagement; she has someone else shoulder to cry upon for her issues and we can’t discuss the things together, we used to discuss so openly when she was single. I am still her best friend and she is mine. And we both don’t want to lose our friendship. We work together ans see each other daily and No, it’s not painful. We are just happy for each other and we both are not thinking or discussing the issue, which raise sadness. Painful is when we are not together. It’s month now and I am not hurt or sad any more and not even thinking to hurt her or hate her. Sometime I got reminded of the questions I’ve mentioned and it felt very bad, so I’m trying not to think anything. Many of you might think, my points are not valid or she is not following her heart. But I still respect her decision and care for her as a friend, and we are trying hard not to lose our friendship as in such time, it’s easy to hurt each other. I am losing my believe in god and love or may be I’ve already lost my believe. Where our life will go, only time has answer. Just sharing it here, if it help someone to move on.

Reply

Thomas

I’m in love with this girl. She is sweet and caring. We now have become best friend. Recently, one of my friends had just told her that I have like her for 3 years. she was shock upon hearing that. My friend told her not to let me know that she already knew that I like her. She always promises my friend that she will not avoid me. Now whenever I talk to her, I feel very awkward, I feel like she is putting on a show trying to not let me notice that she already knew I like her. Now I feel that she is very fake towards me. I really don’t like this feeling. I want to be close with her just like the old times where we would share our problem with each other. I feel like confessing to her right now so she would not need to continue acting but I’m scared that confessing to her would make things worse. Can someone please give me some advice, tell me what should I do next.

Reply

Nilkanth

Just tell her… in such situation .. one day.. you have to tell her… why not now? be gentle and do not expect anything in return. that’s the only way to get courage to speak to discuss this point. You can’t hold it for long and there is no right time. Tell her, even if her reply is negative, be gentle… you won’t loose any thing and will sleep happily in night …

Reply

preety

i fell in luv vid a guy who happns to b my dad’s childhood frn’s son v stay in d same apartments i luv him since 3 yrs last year i proposed him but he rejectd me.i dont no wat d actual reasn was bt he told dat m much younger to him(7 yrs)last year itself he left to the USA for his higher education.his mom keeps cuming to my hme every day since he left i felt lyk dieing.i tried to move on but i couldnt in december 2012 he came to hyderabad for a month the time i saw him i realised dat i luv him a lot and can never forget him.i again proposed but he said he has a galfnd but ven i asked one of his frns he said dat he doest hav a gal frn at all.plzzz help me out he is now in d usa i really want him

Reply

Ruchi

Hey Preety,

Sorry to say but it’s better you move on..I know it’s tough but you have to understand that you can force anyone to love you.
If he doesn’t have GF and he still saying you that he have one just because he too want you to move on. When you are in love you always hope that one day.. you will get your lover. But reality is quite different.
Infact, you have a plus point that he is not in India thus you don’t need to face him or talk to him often… find new friends… make yourself busy in other stuff and most important be positive that you can move on. Whenever his thoughts click.. start doing stuff you love or talk to your friends about something else.

Hope it helps.

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eva

the marriage not even 2 years but now he so often say i dont love you eveytime we argue . 3 days before our wedding day i couch him talk in ym with stranger since there i feel broken and never trust him anymore , thsi is my false i treat him bad yeah im but what can i do that Yahoo chat keep remind me , now so often he said he not love me he not in love with me anymore , but one day really 2 days ago i took 8 parasetamol each 500. he even want to leave me coz he sid dont want see anyone die and get blame . but well all fine after he ask me to throw the pill and clean my stomach , i say thank you to save my life and i say too how if i really die , he said I WILL DIE . i need help really . he ask me to stop smoke but he never help me for that just wnt me to stop , he enjoy watching star tack than Make love with me . i dont know again , this guy never go out always home with his pc he is teacher , match and computer guy . sometime im thinking this how computer guy they dont care bout anything else except they computer ? i was not wear hijab since married his mum want me to wear it . i found my self ugly and not sexy anymore. helppppppppp

Reply

Ruchi

Eva,

First thing I noticed is that you are not positive about this relationship. If you want your relationship to work you need to put efforts to it.
Another thing, lack of self esteem because of which you get into arguments with him and don’t trust him. Love yourself cause he loves you… HE SAID HE WILL DIE, IF YOU DIE…THAT’S LOVE SWEETHEART. You just need to feel that.

You found him talking to a stranger before two years…. grow up and have a broad thinking… he was just talking it doesn’t mean he dont love you.

Do you know, you have expectations like a teen age girl… he should bring flowers for me.. Say I love you everyday… go on Romantic Dinners.. etc. This is your way of showing love, his way of showing love is totally different.. for him caring for you and understanding your stupid ( Like dying ) behaviour is the way to show love.

You might have seen those “Cool Dudes” in your life and thus comparing your hubby with him. Such guys hardly care about their wife and not even trust worthy. This guy is responsible and ready to die for you. What else you want?

If you think he is too much into computers or star trek than make a friendly environment at home… Make a special dinner for him.. Show that you love him.. have a smile when he comes home or near you…

Because you get in arguments with him, he starts ignoring you.. once you will start thinking positive and stay happy, you can make him happy too…

And only cowards try to suicide.. life is really beautiful.. there are people around who are in worst situation than you. So, don’t take life so lightly…

I guess thats too much of advice but you really need this… If you need to talk you can mail us via contact form.

Reply

Kelvin

Tnx 4 al ur written it al proven applyin, help wit this in love wit a girl who keep postponiny reply n refuse gift i send 2 her n know avoidin person i sumtym send 2 her. Alws limiting time or not giv attention wen visitin her. Nevertheless my love 4 her keep continue although source told me she keepin her time 4rm her last relationship, which hard 4 me 2 bliv bcos is gettin 2 2yrs i hav b after her.

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Liz

I really like this guy. Was seeing him for a few weeks but I failed to tell him that I have HVB before sex. He is really mad now and properly won’t talk to me again. I know it was all my fault and I don’t deserve to be happy if he really catches it. I know I should forget it and move on because what has done cant never be undone. But I feel so guilty and regret. I should have taken my condition more serious and careful. I was with my ex over a year and he has never infected and I stupidly thought it would be ok if we used protection. Sometimes I do forget I have this cause I’m not on any treatment at the moment. I know there chances he will never forgive me. I know don’t what to do. I just want a peace of mind but maybe I will never get over this stupid mistake.

Reply

Ruchi

Hi Liz,
Don’t you think you are taking yours and others life too lightly. You did a mistake and now you can’t go back in past to change it.
It’s ok that you are regretting it but now its time to learn from your mistake and never do such thing again. First of all there are chances that your disease can be cured… so go to doctor and cure yourself. Secondly, now you don’t have anything to do to get him and for peace of mind, time will heal that.

Reply

bubba

I was stupid enough to start having strong feelings for a married man. There is no future for us and he has been respectable when it comes to his vows. We talked, I know he wasn’t happy. But him telling me about his relationship was only in the beginning, we became fast friends and talked and laughed about life and having fun in general and rarely talked about his wife. He was beginning to feel the same things for me. I know there is something special between us. But dammit he is married, so I have stopped all communication with him, and he hasn’t tried to contact me either. But I really miss my time with him. Not sure if it is love or just the fact that we were good friends that felt completely comfortable with each other, like I’ve known him for years. One day we began to cross the line with probably the most amazing kisses ever, they just happened, but we stopped. I don’t want to be a home-wrecker and I could never trust him if he left her for me. *sigh* It just sucks….caring about someone you can’t be with, thinking about him daily even though I haven’t talked to him in more than 2 months. But I’m proud of my decision to walk away. Now how do I get over him? How do I stop thinking about him. I’ve been on dates, but I compare everyone to how comfortable I was with him. The undeniable attraction and ease in which we were friends, even the first time we met, we just clicked. I haven’t experienced that with anyone else. They way he looked at me…. We were only friends for 2 months, i haven’t talked to him for a longer period than what our friendship lasted. Why can’t I get him out of my mind? I’m not a kid either, I’m a grown with grown woman. Jeez I feel silly. I’ve never felt like this before.

Reply

Ruchi

Hey Bubba,
When you fall in love, nothing matters. But you are strong enough as you are ready to move on and not silly to be in relationship which has no future.
It’s really tough to move when you have some special connection. Right now, don’t force yourself much. Take it easy.. have fun time with friends and make yourself busy and do all things which makes you happy. And most important don’t compare others with him, otherwise you won’t able to love anyone else in your life.

Reply

Ankur

Hello,

I am with a girl from past couple of months. I love her very much. She also like me. Previously I thought that she loved me because the way she talked about us and our future and all. She never show committment but the way we were together was more than a GF, BF relation.She used to ask me for each and every thing and she shared all of her personal and family problems. We had made out many times. She couldnt sleep without talking to me. She had a previous relation, she always used to say that she couldnt love someone else like she did. I respect her a lot for her loyalty and feelings, that was the main reason I fell for her. But she already said that she dont have feelings for me, I thought may be she is confused so I sould give her some more time. Suddenly few weeks back she said that she started liking someone. I said ok if you like someone than you go for him. She always used to ask me that dont you feel bad if I am talking to that guy. I said no… I wont, Its your life you can do anything. I felt very bad but I didnt show up. I thought that I should be the same as before may be someday she will feel for me. We usually have those stupid fights for not picking the call and she use to fight when I am busy and cant give her time. One day few of my friends saw her with that guy late night walking on the street. I really felt very bad beacause all my friends were asking me that , you did a lot to her and why she is now roaming with other guy late night. I asked her and she first said that its her life and she can walk with any guy, she didnt give me committment then why I am feeling bad. I lost my control and scold her badly. I promised my self that I wont see her face in my whole life. She met me and said that there is nothing between them, that guy is just her friend. There is nothing from his side too (but previously she said that she has feelings for him, a guy who is just in her friend group and doesnt know a shit about her). She said that I mean a lot to her and there is an importance of mine in her life, she started crying…… I said, please forgive me. I am all broken, I dont need any kind of relation between us. Whatever you want to do you can do but I cant take this pain more. Please leave me alone…….She asked to meet me again but I refused, she said she wont go home all night if i didnt meet her. I didnt go but I confirmed that she didnt go home and was with her friends that night. Right now I am not calling her……..I am really fu**ked up. Dont know what shall I do. Many times I have tried that I wont go whenever she calls but every time I ran like a deer to meet her whenever she needed me. I really love her and she knows it very well.

I need a suggestion from her perspective. I know my side very well.My friends said that she used me. If I am just a time pass for her than I will try my best to forget and forgive her.

Reply

Ruchi

Hey Ankur,

After reading about that girl I would say she treated you as a rebound partner. She was lonely and can’t get her ex out of her mind and thus in need of rebound partner. You were there for her physically and mentally which makes her feel satisfied.
You are a strong guy and I guess you took a perfect step by ignoring her. Stick to that decision.

” Not going home whole night if you don’t meet her” sensible girls don’t do that.. she seems to be an immature girl who don’t want she wants and how to handle relationship problems.

According to me, you must forget her and I am sure you will able to move on soon.

Reply

Ankur

Hi Ruchi,

Thanks a lot to reconfirm my decision. It was really hard for me to ignore her but as I realized the truth now I am doing good with my life. She still consider me as a best friend but I know my limits now.

Reply

Ruchi

Anytime Ankur :)

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Nitin Chopra

Ruchi u know more than thing or two about relationship. Bingo!!! Ur instance which u quoted abt text and mail was bang on. Would like to read more of your stuff.
Please help me out how can I acces to ur writing.
Please keep ur good work going.

Reply

Ruchi

Thanks Nitin,
I am glad you like articles of this blog. You can be in touch with us and read our regular updates on Let’s Talk Relation’s Facebook page.

Reply

Varun Kumar

Hey Ruchi,
My story is quite tragic. I love a girl but she already have an another guy in her life. I love her from the bottom of my heart & can do anything for her. Not even a single moment in 24 hrs everyday I can stop thinking about her. I know that it’s not good even being known with the fact that she already have an emotional engagement with someone else, I went down in her love. I work in an MNC & She is a colleague of mine. A few day’s ago, I even said in front of her emotionally that ” It hurts me even if an Ant bite you”. Listening this, she felt doubt & eventually after a day, she changed her behavior (She was good on that day I said her this sentence) towards me & started being apart & ignoring.

What should I do now? Should I clearly talk to her & express my love towards her? Remember that I love her truly & can do anything for her happiness. What I suppose is, I should at least let her know my feelings.

Please I need your help.

Reply

Ruchi

Hey Varun,

I guess she is loyal towards her bf and don’t want to cheat on him that’s why when she came to know that you have feelings for her she backed off… You need to take it slow because that girl just expecting your friendship. Sometimes you need to understand that all prayers are not answered in “Yes” and it goes same here.
Wait for a while before letting her know your feelings… she is not ready yet. Give her space and when you think she is ready to listen what you feel about her then tell her without getting too emotional otherwise there are chances that you might lose her friendship too. Sometimes good girls want to keep a distance from boys who loves them because they don’t like complications.

Anyways best luck and try to move on.

Reply

Varun Kumar

Hey Ruchi,

How are you?

I understood. But the problem is she knows that I love her. I asked her a day before whether she knows her name with whom I love? She said yes I have doubt but she is not telling her own name in front of me. But she is just professional & behaving normal with me as the others do. I’m placing every true effort that I can to make her feel loved me but nothing is working. I helped her in office to get rid of official problems with colleagues by handing over few commands so that no one can command her. In many occasions I made her happy but did not work at all.

Problem is whenever she have any doubt on me she goes out & ask her boyfriend to what should be the next step that I need to take. That means her operator is her boy friend. What can I do to make her understand that I love her a lot?

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depressed boy

I LOVE ONE GIRL OF MY CLASS .
I AM IN LOVE WITH HER FOR 2 YEARS. SHE NEVER TALK TO ME IN 2 YEARS.
I REALIZE SHE IS NOT INTRESTED IN ME.
BUT STILL I LOVE HER JUST LIKE ANYTHING
I ALWAYS PRAY FOR HER THAT SHE WILL GET GOOD HUSBAND.
I HAVE DECIDED I WILL NEVER MARRY.
ON HER BIRTHDAY SHE GAVE CHOCOLATE.TO CLASSMATES SHE DIDNT GAVE ME BUT WHEN SHE GAVE IT TO MY FRIEND ..THEN I GET IT FROM MY FRIEND..
I CANT EXPLAIN HOW I FEEL..
I HAVE MAKE THIS CHOCOLATE AS MY PRO. PIC AND I WILL NEVER FORGET THIS..I HAVE NOT EATEN IT YET AND PROBABLY NEVER WILL..
I LOVE HER SO BAD THAT I HAVE NO WORDS.TO EXPLAIN..
AS SHE IS NOT INTRESTED IN ME I DONT TALK TO HER BECAUSE SHE DONT LIKE.
AND I WANT TO SEE HER HAPPY..NIT SAD..
I KNOW ..SHE DONT WANT ME..
BUT SHE IS EVERYTHING TO ME.
AND SHE WILL NOT GET A LOVER LIKE ME IN HER LIFE..100% SURE ABOUT THAT…
THING IS THAT I CANT ERASE HER FROM MY MIND AND PROBABLY NEVER WILL

Reply

mohammed mediaz

But I just can’t stop thinking but her, the more I tried to forget her, the less I see. Gosh!!! Its seems I have been caste a spilt. We were friends the time I proposed to her, she accepted but then she said to me that she doesn’t feel love. damn I love her so much and I might go crazy just for her. Please I someone to help me.

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T.Azhagan

in the world no true love in humans heart. they are all selfished love only hav. no one to believe the true love to encourage and live for the person. its all rumour

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Loveispure

this is simply not true. Although there are many closed hearts in the world, there are many open hearts as well. Give what you desire and it will come to you. Open your heart and other open hearts will be attracted into your life.

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Devin

I think in falling in love with someone who is about to get married. What should i do i feel like she wants someone with me i dont know if its just my imagination. Should i let it go kr try before she is taken forever?

Reply

Ruchi

Devin,
You must go and ask her directly that she loves you or not. This is not time to imagine anything..If she loves you then you both to decide what would be your next step.

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Joseph

I no this girl nd i’ve never talk to her befor wat shld i do.

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Gagan

I love a grl she is brahman n bcz of caste prblm she cnt mrry me…..i dnt knw wht should i do to marry her..plz tell me smtng..i cnt live without her..

Reply

Ruchi

Hey Gagan,
Just because of caste don’t let her go.. If you both love each other and ready to spend life together then talk to yours and her parents. There might be chances that they might convince with you. If you won’t try you gonna regret your whole life.

Reply

luke

HeY,

I have a big problem there is this girl who I have loved for the past 3 years and I didn’t know she had feelings for but on friday She told me she was prego and I said congrats I hope you and your bf have a happy and safe future, I will always love you, she said I wish you have told me sooner and I asked why and she said because I had feelings for you a few times and when you told me you don’t like me anymore I gave up, but I still have feelings for you, I asked how strong they were and she said strong enough that I want to be with you but Can’t,

I Know that I should just let it be and to what is right and just let her have a future with her bf but all weekend I have been thinking about her and how much I love her I don’t know what to do?

please help,

Luke

Reply

Ruchi

Hey Luke,

Sorry to say but move on. She said “I can’t”, it means you are not on first place in her priority list. So be practical and try to forget her.

Reply

Abhishek Mishra

Hey Ruchi,
I love a girl who is my best friend.I accidently confessed infront of her that i love her when she asked me to swear her.She has many times asked me if i get hurted by his behaviour.She feels guilty as i love her a lot and she is not returning that love to me.Everytime she repeats that SHE CAN NOT LOVE ANYONE but i l have a special place in her heart which no one can take.She confesses that i do too much for her and values that.She knows that i love her a lot.I am evern handling a one sided relationship with her but she repeats everytime that she can not love anyone in this world.She cries when someone insults me.She says she would die if i broke her trust as she trusts me more then herself.Her friends say she too loves me but isn’t ready to accept the truth.We talk a lot over phone late nights.She shares her each nad every problem with me.She feels secure with me.I really get confused many time because of her behaviour that if she really loves me from inside and just want to see my loves’ limit for her or is really a stubborn?Does it really happens that someone may fall in love but won’t accept that?Most importantly Does she loves me?(Additional info:she even gave me her no. ,we chat on FB a lot,There are rumours in our school about us but we both deny infront of others,She never shares the moments with others that we spent together,Most interestingly her name is Ruchi too!! Please help me!!)

Reply

Ruchi

Hey Abhishek,

“She can’t love anyone in this world”…Why so? she had a bad breakup or something else. She cares for you so much and still don’t want to be in relationship. I guess she either just want to be your good friend and escaping from love feeling coz she is scared of commitment.
Abhishek its kind of tough to advice, specially when she is saying she can’t love anyone. If she had bad breakup then she dont want to get hurt again. I would say, give her time and gradually she will realize what she wants from you.
Best luck :)

Reply

Abhishek Mishra

Hey Ruchi,
A million thanks for replying.No she never had a breakup.Infact she hasn’t been in any sort of relationship at all.She doesn’t believe in love thats why she says so.She says I am the only boy thats so close to her.She has nowadays started to value my love.When I say I love you to her in her hard times and support her,she says that how can someone be so good and also says she doesn’t deserves my love.This is ridiculous!I don’t understand what does this “deserving love” means!I have already told her that I don’t want her to be my GF.All I want is she herself whom I can pour my love upon.She gets pained by hearing all this.Many times she asks me if I really love her!She says she feels secure in my company.She asks me to never leave her alone.If she doesn’t loves why such reactions?Please help!You are my only hope!

Reply

Ruchi

Hey Abhishek,
Ok! you need to convince her that Love is not a bad thing…in fact it’s the sweetest feeling. I wonder how people stay away from love. In her case, she is not ready for commitment but she do have feelings for you. Take help of her friends and talk with her directly that why she can’t treat you as a boyfriend especially when she needs you by her side always.
Hope things work for you. Best luck :)

Reply

Abhishek Mishra

Hey Ruchi,
Many many thanks to you!Thanks a lot for your advice.Surely I will do what you have said.May god bless you!

Toby Bifulco

Helpful but not true love is the most powerful thing in all our lives. Love can not be controlled. But it can be broken. If the person you love doesn’t love you back you have to come to grip with your self and get over it. If you love someone you can feel them. You think about them all the time and you should never stop. Let your self run wild for love is the one thing in life that can truly bring happiness to are hearts.

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nadine sWanepoel

I have a question but what if you love the person too much and he also loves you but he lives far away and he is a little older than you but you can’t lett go

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mary joy

Hello Ruchi,
I already read your article about Falling In love with someone you can’t have, can i ask what should i do? Im a hotel worker, i m so in love with our executive chief, when we are in the hotel he is always smiling and staring at me, but the times comes, now his in canada, i don’t now how can i tell him how much i love him,what should i do?now we are far apart..

Reply

Ruchi

Hey Mary,
Distance really don’t matter, there are lots of ways to contact. If you love him and want a serious relationship then its you must express your love.
Its tough to propose your boss/colleagues but you should not miss the chance, even he might be feeling same for you. Best luck :)

Reply

dipti bhut

i love a guy from 2 years.he is my classmate . i myself did friendship with him n bacame his best friend till yet.. i told all my feelings to dat boy. but dat boy doesnt love me at all. he says that m not a beautiful gl. n says that he will mary to a beautiful gl only. whenever any beautiful gl comes in his contact a feel too much jealous. many tims i cry. many times i feel lonliness. i cant even think to live without him. each day v chnt for a long tim.. v share each othrs things n r hapy to b friend. but what i expexct is too much different from him, i any how want dat boy as my life partner. plz suggest me how can i get him. or should i forget my all expectations about him.

Reply

Ruchi

Dipti,

It’s better not to expect anything from that guy. He is not worth for you if he is only behind beautiful faces. He treats you as friend so just be like a friend. Don’t get to much involve with him and if you can’t control your feelings/emotions then better stop talking or chatting with him. Otherwise, you will be the one who will suffer.

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Andy

hey
I need some advice on a situation I am in. can anyone help?

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Ruchi

Whats your problem Andy?

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Cutie

I’m in love with my best friend.He has a girlfriend and i know that.I have known him only for nine months n i have been in love with him for seven months.I have tried to forget him but i can’t.During these times,he has cared me a lot.He bosomed to me when he quarrelled with his girlfriend.And when i have problems,he helps me to solve.When i feel lonely,he consoles me.So how can i forget him??????? ;’(

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Neil

Why can’t have… if both are in love, we can have… the problem is when both are in love, but both are married with others…

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Vibhor

I’m a 21 years old male. I love my best friend from about 5 years. I proposed her last year, but she told me that she was in a relation with one of my friends. And we continued to be friends. Yeah, her boyfriend, being Somewhat possessive, got somewhat angry that time. So we stopped contacting for about 9 months.

One day, about 3 months ago, she told me crying that he dumped her.. She was very upset about it and need a friend. Obviously I was there. She asked if I still love her, and I told her I never stopped. I never forced her for anything. Yet, I never stopped loving her and she knows it. She cares for me and suggesting me not to love her all the time. Everytime when something goes wrong or she becomes upset, she calls me, ’coz she trusts me.

Now-a-days we talk to each other day and night and flirt too. But sometimes she becomes upset, feeling guilty about hurting me that time and says “You deserve better than me”/”I can’t love you”/”I don’t want a relationship” and Blah Blah Blah….
I don’t know if she can ever forget him and try for another (hell, none other than me). What should I do now????

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Ruchi

She gone through a bad breakup thus give her some time. Of course she will forget him when she will get more love and attention from someone else, its human nature. Right now I would suggest just go with the flow and don’t force her to love you, she might need time to rethink about your relationship.

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Vibhor

Yeah… Finally now yesterday night she told me she loves me. I can’t describe how happy I’m now. But still, as I’m one year younger than her (also about one inch shorter), she is kinda upset, says our families will not be ready. Now she is like she was in love with me for the very beginning. It’s like a dream come true for me.

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Ruchi

Aww that’s sweet.. Happy for you. Don’t worry about the age factor.. Sooner or later parents will agree. Right now just enjoy each and every moment of your relationship. :)

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cj

i have a problem i fell in love with a girl whom my best friend likes too. he is now in canada while me and the girl are somewhere far away. what am i supposed to do? should i stay away from her or should i confess to my bestfriend or is there anything i should do?

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Ruchi

Hey CJ,
Of course go ahead and tell her about your feelings. There might be chance that she too have same feelings. Best luck.

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cj

actually Ruchi my bestfriend is a guy who likes the girl i like… And I’m scared that we (bestfriend and I) will loose our friendship if he knows that i also like the same girl he likes. thanks for the reply :)

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pankaj singh

i m in love with a girl two years ago we chatted on fb lots and came closer to each other one day i prposed her she said i dont wanna be in love with anyone till i will be about 25 year old i said i will wait for her she stopped talking after some days we again became friend and again we chatted on fb one day she said its wrong that i talk to you bcoz u had purposed me so i don’t wanna talk to u i said as u wish my life became wost without talking to her we had fresher party in our college in preparation of it she slowly forgetting everything happened between us on the eve of fresher party she behave as she was my gf but next when i and she meet in class she said u told evrything to other peoples i said no i dont ever she said they tease me with ur name then after i made her believe that i never told anything to anyone about us but before one day diwli she messaged me and said happy diwali to ur family not u then we have lots of chat she had read my date of birth in my fb profile she said “u r 3 months smaller in age than me so pls forget me and i will search a partner for u that u will forget me i tried lots and purposed her she didn’t replied back after a month she again starts smiling and giving loving expressions to me one day she got a i card of my branch there were many students of my branch standing there but she gave that i card to me and said pls give it to belonging people i said oik next day i tried to talk to her after classes i stoped her in gallery of our school then we talk on her problem that she faced when boy of our college purposed her she said i m not interested in it that” and moved from there next day scheme of exams was stucked on notice board i gone in her class and she was alone she saw me and smiled i said “go copy ur exam scheme from notice boarda’ she said nothing but she gave lovely smile i came to my class she came behind me at the door of her class as both of our classes and doors are parallel to each other when i turned back she said “dont talk to u “i got angry and closed the door very loudly after sometime my best friend came in class he asked me what happen i told him whole incident he got to the girl and asked”why u r not tlking to him?she said “u know why bcoz he i small in age then me “my friend came back and said “forget her ” i tried alot to forget her but i unable then i decided to fall her in love with me but as i get to her closer she gets more far from me i m definetly sure that somebody is filling her ears with rubbish things about me but i dont know who he is any way we both get distance due to examinations but as my exams were over now i have very much time to get her back 3 days before i called on her cell phone with other no. as she made my no. to reject list pls help me in this situation her birthday will be soon what should i have to do now because i cant live with out her she is now my life pls give me some solution that i will get her back forever.

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chisa

You better move on

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pankaj singh

no i cant pls tell me some ways that i get her back

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pankaj singh

Ruchi pls help me i m in lots of trouble pls

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Amanda

Great article – I love my husband a lot – but l feel really in love with somebody – He was my head teacher – I hide the crush so well nobody noticed… Ever day when he was in my life – my heart would beat so fast, I loved Dention coz l would spend it with him..

How ever when l left school the night before l cried & my mum knew something was right. So l was honest. I didn’t wish to leave…. When l left l felt heartbroken & missed him so much – that l started dating boys to fill that spot…

20 years later – I am married with a daughter. I love my husband….

But its not the same feelings – in fact l love him more than ever… My feelings are still stronger than when l was 16….
I still have this sadness & pain.
I have tried all sorts – I think of him every minute of my life…

The pain is horrible l wish it would all go away..

People say you get over it – yeah you do to a point – But it never goes away, the pain never goes away… It hurts like f**k… When u truly love that person – yeah you heal to a point but the pain never leaves you..you are never the same person.

If l could have that chance – I would love to tell him “I really & truly love you.” But then it could freak him out. Oh it’s hard. All you can do is to try not dwell on things. You try moving on but it’s a feeling that’s with you always. You do move on – but if you love that person it never leaves you ever. No matter what u try… In some ways l regret going that school. But can’t change anything now… So just got to live with it… It sure still hurts more than anything. 20 years on when people post memory’s of school days – boy it rips you’re heart out still. Wish this would just go away. I have tried so hard to forget – even ignored school reunion events coz of all this… Yet the worst of it is – nobody knew or knows. Not even my best friends know bout this.
Kept to my self accept for my mum & u guys reading.

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danielle

your so right the pain doesnt go away it hurts and it sucks and it wont piss off… im not the same person anymore… i truly do love him but its never gonna happen, in 20 years i know its still gonna hurt… ive only told one person about this and i regret it because it came out one night when we were having a drink, ive never been one to express myself to other people so it killed me even more… what makes it worse is shes my room mate and we both work together with “him” and because i quit my job a few weeks ago because i couldnt be around him knowing that i could never have him, it sucks because deep down she knows why i left, everyone else jst thinks i got another job

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In love

I’ve tried to get over him, but I just can’t. I sit in my bed and just cry over him. I’ve loved him now for 8 years. I’ve had boyfriends in those eight years but have broken up with every one of them because they’re not like that one special guy.

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Jt

There’s this girl Ive fallen head over heels for, absolute true love. i cannot imagine life without her, and though you may not believe me, i know she cant either. but im moving to a different part of the country, and we will surely never see each other again. I dont know what im going to do, but she means the world to me. ik we can text and video chat, but what is the point without the security of your love being right there next to you??? she is the one and only one who knows absolutely everything about me, and we could spend hours just sitting staring into each other eyes…what can i do though??? drop out of college to be with the love of my life, or move on with my life with a hole never to be filled

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Andrea

Yes the conscious says you should move on an accept the person doesn’t love you but how you stop the heart from wanting that person, i love a person that i cant ever have but i have come to accept it I love them unconditional i accept it but still i hurt. How do i stop hurting???????

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Basheer

Hey! Guys am also in a relationship with this girl that I really don’t think I can do without her. She means everything to me. We were so perfect together but unexpectedly I came to a notice that she’s in love with another guy in fact they were dating and I just can help it. I tried so hard to get her back but she couldn’t give me a chance and now that guy dumped her so I need you pls to advice me on what to do because I still love her so much :’(

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Glecy

I am so much in love and involved with the person I can’t have. He is married and he is a celebrity. I always miss him like hell. I wanted to tell him how I truly feel…that I love him more than just a fan thing… but I don’t think that it would be useful.. I guess it’s pointless to talk about my feelings. He might avoid me and ruin what we have at the moment. What should I do? I think about him every night and day…even if I’m busy at work and at home.

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Arhin Victor

but if I see her l feel love with her what can I do

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danielle

it hurts so much, ive fallen in love with this guy that i work with, but whats wierd is i fell in love with his personality before him, i never noticed him for a good 6 months then one day i noticed he was always laughing and never in a bad mood no matter what, and as time goes on my feelings grow stronger and stronger. It hurts so much because hes married and has kids so hes that guy that i cant have, i know id NEVER act on my feelings or tell him how i feel because i wouldnt ever ruin anyones family. it just hurts alot, if i see him at work im dying inside i try to hide it but its gotten to the point where a few weeks ago i HAD to leave my job because i couldnt be around him knowing that i could never have him, hes the ONLY person ive ever fallen in love with, ive never felt this pain before… it sucks so much, its been almost over a year and its not going away. Its him !

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torn

i feel in love with my sisters husband, i don’t know but everything seems like flashes of lightnings that strikes in my life..just this summer when he told me he likes me very much since the last time he visited in our place, its his second time to visit and this time they have a 5 months old baby already.. i was not able to believe when he told me that, until such time we get along together, he stayed for a month longer and we enjoyed each company, and crosses the line which i know its the wrong way..it breaks me so much every time i saw them together, i felt sorry and jealous at the same time since its me that will come up who beg for love, its like waiting for rain in the middle of drought..i tried to stop my feelings and willing to sacrifice everything for my sister cause i love her more than him..but it seems like that he dont want to end the relationship that we had, cause for him i will stay special in his heart, whatever may happened he said i already had space in his heart, he wants me to deserve someone but cant move on because of what he said.

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blessed

U are right ruchi,

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Dominic Isaiah

Love is a good feeling,anyone that hate love is a Devil o Demon because they don’t ever love.

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Godwink

am emotionally and genuinely in love with this girl and we ‘ve been friends. Ever since i told her my feelings she stop calling and answering my calls. She picked my call today and i asked her why is she not calling any more and she said ” I don’t wanna hurt you, that’s why i stopped calling. The more i call you the more you are feeling much love for me. I kept quiet on the call because i felt so bad in my heart and she keeps on asking are you hurt? Ruchi, please advice me, my love for her is so deep

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Ruchi

Hey Godwink,
Try to treat her like a friend and make clear that you would give her space like earlier…she is avoiding you coz she knows you both are having different feelings. Thus give her time and if possible be friends like earlier.. tough but it’s better than not talking.

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Godwink

so do i need to tell her that we should forget our differences and be the friends that we used to be? i also wanted to stop calling her but i have a stronger feelings of missing and loosing her. Any time i think of her my heart beats so deep, what actually do i do Ruchi?

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Ruchi

Yes Godwink,
Actually when it’s one side love, things are kind of uneven. But you need to treat her like a friend and thus give a space. Don’t keep on saying { directly or indirectly } that you love her, it will irritate her. It’s tough but you need to change your thinking and feelings.

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catherine

iam grateful for the post. it reminded me that in life, i cant have everything i like.

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Shazzy

I love this girl and I could do anything for her. We used to be friends, but then I told her the truth and she stopped talking to me. She told me that she finds it awkward because I am two years younger than her, but I believe that’s its only two years and these days woman do get married to men that are smaller than them. I have also tried forgetting about her but I can`t because I love her too much. I want to make her realize that I really love her but I don`t know how. I have tried sending her gifts and messages to her phone but it is not working and now she said that if I love her, I will forget about her and she is going University for four years and after she comes back. I don’t know if I will ever see her again. I don’t know what to do and I need some advice.

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piyumi

hey ruchi, i’m in love with a guy who doesn’t suit me( according to my parents) because he doesn’t have a job( actually he’s a social worker and he works for free for a political party) he asked me out about a year ago.i couldn’t give him an answer because i knew of my parents dissaprovel.but i still can’t forget him.i happen to get to k now him better in a friendly basis and i think now i’ve fallen in love.he knows of the dissaprovel but i feel like he’s still hoping for better.what should i do? sometimes i feel like i should forget him..but sometimes he pops up….i’m an engineering student and yeah we don;t macth in many ways…but i’m drawn to him still..plz help me…

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bhavesh

Guys i m bhavesh
i luv my best friend but neaver had dareng to say her but dnt know how did she got to know about it i m feelng very sad but i do any thing

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love

but how i feel is like when i see this preson i get so hard to talk to this preson a this preson talk and frist i was overthis preson the i and falling i love again

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Anant

hi i am anant .i liked one girl very much .i talked and do friendship on facebook.she studied in my school where i studied.i was senior to him.she accepted my friendship.we talked on facebook.i told to go on movie,she thoght i am bad .but whwn i told baout my pain in family she replied by saying sorry.she apologized.she liked my photo on facebook after that she liked my comment which i said to her on oher photo of facebook.we met each other she looked happy to see me.we stayed near to each other residence.she talked about me to her friends.she liked me.when i came from her gali she made a remark by saying to her friend that when anant will come to talk to me.i hesitated to talk .because i started loving her very much.then i spent my days in park and her gali.after spending many days in park just roming over their.she had a misconception about me.i told her on facenbook manier times i like you she replied yes by saying i know now taht you love me and she loved to talk with me.then i told to her friend that i will marry her as i told my detals that i m doing pilot training.and my father stays in dubai .the boy told to the girl about this .she took in bad way.she thought that im just in order to impress her is telling lie that im pilot.and also sais that i am thurkee.she sais that i wrote to this many girls on facebook that i like her.she thought im cheatinmg to her .earliers she liked me very much and respected.then she got angry and sid to complain to her mother about me.i felt bad and apologized to her mother without any reason and committed that i love her.she was small in age taht is why her mother just accepted my forgiveness bit inan angry way and told that she is at a smaal age and sais me to leave. i felt very badand cried.next whaen i asked to her friends they replied taht she thinks very bad about you that yyou are just cheating over her but earlier she loved and liked you.then the mother of teh girl ehich i liked talk about me to my friends that what kind of a guy im was.the mother was then enquiring about me .but my friends does not told anything and even refused to recognize that im their friend.telll mee please what to do.im depreesed .teel me the solution

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priya

I was in an abusive relationship with my husband thru whom I have two kids. When I was going thru a bad patch I met and fell in love with a much younger guy. He was everything I would have wanted in a man. We were in a relationship for a year though many times he had warned me that this wouldn’t last because his family were looking for him to marry. He has never mislead me but I still feel terribly hurt that I have to let go of someone whom I truly love. Somehow I am never lucky with love, I loved my husband but he always abused me but wouldn’t divorce me and I thought I found love again only its out of my grasp again.

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priya

I have been in an abusive relationship for 15 years with my husband through whom I have kids. During a very bad patch I met and fell in love with a much younger guy who had everything I wanted in a man. But he always warned me that this relationship wouldn’t last because they were looking out for his marriage. He wants to call if off after a year now and I am terribly hurt and cannot come to terms . I am so unlucky in love. how do I let go gracefully.

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Cleo

Why does it have to be like that? I mean sometimes you know that this person loves you by simply looking at the way they approach you, things they write on your wall and how the coult unexpectedly touch you from the back. It feels like your the one who messed up things by telling them you love them. Or is it the way I conveyed this message?

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Soni

i love a guy since 5 years. He also knows that. I told him that i like him and he didnt rejected me. Also gave me hints. But since 6 months only i call him he just replies but never calls. But do reply everytime i call. I started forcing him to call me from past few days. I think i was wrong. Our views also doesnt match like regarding dowry.

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hellena

i do agree dont waste ur time to the person that he doesnt love you just move on coz i do hope their is mr right is wating for on the way just be you be true n play it really

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ajay

i fall in love with a woman who is approx 11 year older than me. she also had twice time divorce and have a 7 year old daughter. i am 24 year old and i am a student ,i just want to get rid off all this feeling and concentrate on my study.because when i study or doing any work ,her memory are comes in my mind and i am distract from my aim please tell me what should i do either i propose her or not ?

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ranjan

Whats wrong in keeping that person for ever in your heart despite knowing she wont be urs.?
Be ok with everyone nd dont let nyone to understand whats goin on inside. Coz you wont ve the courage to start it all over again

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kate

Hi ruchi,

I hope I’m not too late to thank you for your insights. Though it does not have the answer to my problem, but it definitely helps a lot.

I am really grateful I’ve come across this article of yours.

Cheers!

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Nicole

Ahhhh.. This is all true but what do I do when just seeing him wrenches my heart out?.. The guy I love lives with us… I try to avoid him but we go to the same school and he has one of the same classes as me. He gives me hugs and is nice to me but hes in love with another girl… Just being around him feels like someone is stabbing a knife into my chest and twisting it… ‘ve wanted to harm myself so many times because of this.. He talks about the girl he loves a lot to me.. He doesn’t ever notice I’m on the verge of tears because I hide it so well. I’ve loved him since middleschool and used to blush at the sight of him. Now I managed to get my emotions under controll since I’m in high school but.. I still cry every night at the thought of him… Why can’t I just lose all emotional pain?………

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sasha miller

hey ruchi this is sasha i dont know how to begin this but this has been complicated for me. so basically i have been texting and facebooking a guy for ages (we are in the same class but we never talked in class, people dont even know we were friends)and i think he knew i like him, but i wasnt sure, but he was being really nice and kind of flirty i guess. He is not the usual type of guy, he is very quite and shy and never parties and he is such a nice guy and i am pretty such he is not a player consider he hasnt liked nor gone out with a lot of girls. I told one of his friends, that is also one of my very good friend that i am not sure if i have fallen for him or not. and so that my friend decided to talk to him about it, which was so embrassing, but then he started being a bit more forward and invite me to his house to watch a film. i went and there was a lot of cuddling and he was hold my hand, no kisses but we were both shy i knew. But then the days after that weekend, he stopped texting me and i found out from his mate that he said he said ther wasnt a click. i didnt know what to do i just kept talking to him and pretend as if nothing has happened. but i was probably being a bit annoying, cuz i just couldnt stand not talking to him. Mr freinds said maybe he was just experimenting and i probably just exspecting a little bit too much. it took me three weeks to get over the pain totally. but i still want to talk to him sometimes. i just dunno if i should give up on him or not, but at the same time i am not sure if i still actually like him or not, cuz to be honest i dont really think about him anymore and i dont think i feel anything, but i know i still want to like him. whats wrong with me?

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Ruchi

Hey sasha,
I guess it’s more ego to get him back rather than love. You are confused and there is no confusion in love. Since he back-off, it’s hurting you more. Try to ignore him and move on with your life. You will surely get one you deserve.

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Sapna

I had fallen in love with boy who dont love me bt i miss him a lot nd what him in my life nd were nt talking since a month plz help me

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Jo

I like this article. So many times we end up pining. But true love makes you feel your best around the person and they bring the best out in you! No matter whether you are meant to be together or not (as more than friends and if either is committed to someone already) or simply to be put in your life for a special reason! True love has no boundaries! Great article, I will keep the positivity flowing!

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anon

Hi, i just came across this post browsing thru the internet, seeking for an outlet of an emotional upheavel, seeking solace in a love unfulfilled, seeking answers and hope. I write here, cos no one knws me here and depressed and have no clue how to get rid of my feelings. I am in love with this guy..atleast i think it is love..I met him 2 years ago..he was a co-worker. We were on great talking terms for a couple of months, n i started to fall for him. I nvr showed it. But i duno what happnd, n he suddenly stopped talking to me just like that. I tried to be normal, to behave like ntgs hppnd, but got very dry un-interested responses from him. An invisible wall was created. I even tried asking him subtely one day what the matter was, but he dint respond, N he was suddenly on great talking terms with another girl now. Always hanging about her desk most of the time…the same way he did with me. I went thru alot of emotions since then due to his behaviour-hurt, confusion, anger, care-a-damn attitude, but it always ended up in hurt and longing and missing him. Everytime he spoke to her, i felt like he is stabbing me with a knife. M feelings to me weren’t jealousy- i was just clueless..it was like “wht hppnd to us! we were great friends too! One day u hang all around me, n next day m no one! I just dont get it!” I tried ignoring, keeping myself busy with work n other matters, tried everythg to move on. But its two yrs now, n i left that job for another one; n i have no contact with him at all… I did try to contact him once last month. It was his birthday-n i msged to wish him, but he didn’t even respond with a ‘thank u’. I see he is not interested in me at all, but my heart refuses to believe it. Logically everythg tells me he cares a damn abt me, i knw-its not hate from his side..its indifference. But a part of me keeps thinking that he will realize his love for me one day and contact me. I dont know what to do.

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Jo

the chemistry waves changed. That happens for some reason.

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Krazeu

I fall in love with a guy and its been 6 months now and His telling me that he also love me but he said that we can not tell to anybody else what ever relationship we had. In the first place he had a GF and he said that he can handle it and no need to worry. I want to stop loving this guy since the more I love him the more pain it cause me. I informed him that we should stop on what every relationship that we have and he said that should we waste the 6 months and he dont agree.. But everyday is pain for me…

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nthabiseng

Hi, I’ve been in a relationship with my boyfriend for 3 yrs, and his parent started not 2 like me 1 yrs ago! Everything was fine with them till he started 2 have a problems @ work 1 yrs ago. His family things I’m the 1 who’s taking his money! But now everything is sorted @ work! So that thing, really stressed me coz thy don’t understand when he explained 2 them! Now our relationship is not good, and the feeling I used to have, is no more! Because I’m thinking about him and I know he love’s his family! So I can’t deal withh all this drama! I asked him for a break and I’m thinking to leave him, because I can’t let him to choose between me and his family! I don’t know I’m doing the right thing by letting him go! I know he loves me too! But this is to much for me!

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Aria

Hello everyone,

I fell in love and am still in love with someone my family will never accept. He is Turkish and I am Armenian. For the last 8 years we tried to distant ourselves from each other but it didn´t work. Now, I told the majority of my family and I am pressured to make a descision. Him or my family, I can´t have both….it´is so unfair!! What should I do, I am desperate for an answer..

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Ruchi

Hi Aria,

You need to be strong and take decision. Think practically and then decide what is more important for you? will you able to spend rest of your life with someone else or not? Is this guy is worth and will keep you happy forever?
Few decisions in life are taken by thinking all pros and cons,not just by heart.

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anu

hi friends,
i became friend with my colony member through facebook we used to talk about everything from december 12 to march 3 ….we were good friends and we used to talk about all matters one day suddenly he was kidding like marriage etc i thought he is shy so he is proposing indirectly ….on march 3 he was saying i will marry only girl from my caste because his family is orthodox then onwards his behavior changed a lot…. he used to call me earlier later he was not even receiving my call … if i asked him whats the reason wen he is in facebook he is saying busy … this happened many times i am not talking with him from august15 then also i didnt got any response from him.i wish he could come back and talk to me like earlier.what should i do guys should i move on though it is tough?? why he did this to me … becoming close and suddenly ignoring me not even responding to my messages and i think he said to his friends i am back of him …. wht is the correct step i can take now

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Jody

Hi I have an extremely complicated situation and I really need to hear an outside opinion. I have been with the father of my 2nd child for 7 years. We have had many problems in the past but because we love eachother we always manage to work through things and get back together. He has a criminal history and a lot of baggage and my family absolutely forbids him to be around. My family has helped me a lot finacially and even let me build a home on their property so I could finally start my life without struggling so much. All this was while my boyfriend and I separated for a year. Now we are trying to work things back out. He even relocated to be with us and rents a property down the road. It’s very difficult because my family will not allow him to be on the property. He is certainly no saint and based on things that have happened in the past I understand why my family just simply doesn’t trust him and don’t think he deserves to share the things my family has helped me achieve. I really need him, our daughter is getting older and he is the only man both my children have ever known. The kids are well aware of the issues my mother has with him, she is pretty blunt about it. I’m almost 30 years old and I’m just not happy without him. Sometimes I think we both would be happier if we moved on and we have tried but it never works and we get back together. I wish I could just stand up to my mom and say he is coming to live with me and we are gonna do this together! She knows how difficult it is for us but she will not budge. She threatens to have him arrested for trespassing. I have just had enough and any advise is welcomed. I don’t know what to do?!?

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Chioma

hi, am in a relationship but i do not feel that spark like before, now i’m in love with dis other guy….loved him from the first time i saw him, thought i wouldn’t work den i backed out…..few months later, heard he liked me, now the love has stirred up, but i feel he doesn’t love me, he snubs me sometimes, is not my friend on Facebook, doesn’t have my number and doesn’t even like my pictures on instagram……its killing me, really…..what do i do?

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nisaj p.a

hey,ruchi….hiiii
i want you to hear my pblm…i love a girl so much…and she loves me tooo…her parents thinks that we are just brothers and sisters and gives us complete freedom which we are misusing..Another problem is her marriage was already fixed with some one another by her parents…..bt she loves only me and can’t live without me..she always thinks negative that we cant live together..so many times i tried to be positive to it..she wont leave her parents and come with me.i cant forget her….i love her so much knowing that i wont get her…am i doing the right thing..pls help me…am i good for her future if she gets to marry that other guy..or at the end will everything be ok?? help me pls

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Ruchi

Hey Nisaj,

You both need to talk..if she really loves you and want to be with you and she needs to be strong and talk to parents. And if she is denying to get marry with you then it’s better to move on. It will take time to forget her but try to engage yourself in activities you love to do.

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LixieXlovesXBilly

Life is short… The hole time I was reading this I felt like I could die. I want so bad to be with this guy, but he knows nothing about me. The part about expectations, sounded to me like you where talking about uncondicional love, well I’m not the best at that, but who is… EVERYONE says get over it, move on and I just cant do that!

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mary

loving one for 2 years nothing more than hopes beliefs and contact through texts few and far between but yet it was so true to both till he gave up a month ago i still love him he just not care no more taring him self to pieces nothing i could even say would even get through for no more communication to be married and he just gave it all up adopted kids and his own he dying and runs away from the most truest of loves someone to see him through to the end best of friends love so pure i could never want anyone one but him always and forever a bond i hope never broke i love paul always.

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Gloria

I fall in luv 4 2yrs with a guy but we were intimate friends untill he got admission in sch then i told him about my fellings he said dat i need sex inside my heart i knw dat is real i never give up i kept on calling him on phone 4 4yrs he never returned any of my calls 4once then i ask y is it dat u don’t return my calls he said dat he is enage with s1 else i accepted with gud faith becos iwant him 2 be happy but it hurts me so muci am confuse wat do i do pls tell me

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lisas sunny

i’ve been 7 years love someone who love my friends (it’s ok). it’s really hurt me much. then i tired to cried so i move on to my senior. I just love it, suddenly there is news that she already has a girlfriend. so I had to move on again and finally I found it. he is an ex- president of the school. I liked him until I heard that he bought a pink dolphin doll for his female friends. I was very sad and I felt “Why love is always unrequited”?

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Lisa

That’s a good advice . I’ve done it . I don’t expect someone I love to love me back . I’ve been in love with 3 guys. Once when I was in third grade and second when I was ninth and the last year of high school. What I receive is pain . But I never regret loving those guy . But I just decide to be alone .

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unknown

I love her as much as I can but she doesn’t love me as I do and worst thing is that she doesn’t love me even as A friend,6 years now suffering really don’t know what to do! But you are right just love but dont expect in return,if it wS meant for you then you will be loved bach

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Silverlight

I am 59 years old .I lived my whole life alone with only glimmers of love here and there but now I feel a great love for someone who I absolutely can;t have and can’t even tell that I love them.This person is married, has a family and seems very happy.I am shocked that I love her.I defined myself as a heterosexual my whole life and now I am in love with a woman.Worst of all this woman is my doctor.She is a warm and caring person. She heals me , she takes care of me..I could never tell her I love her.She would just tell me to go get another doctor and I would never see her again.Lately I have been avoiding her because I am afraid that she will intuit my feelings and question me.If she asks me if I love her I will have to say yes.Even if she doesn’t become aware of my emotions I will be feeling love every time I see her.Should I go find another doctor and try to forget about her.?

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Dimpho

We all fall in love and at the end we got hurt.

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Prity tiwari

Hey ruchi , i want to share my feelings as i can’t share it to anyone

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Prity tiwari

Hello ruchi, i love one of my teacher who is 4 yrs elder thn me and 7 mnth back joined my college . 5 mnth back i started talking him through msgs and call. I said everything to him about my feelings that i like him . He said he will get married after a period of time bt till that time he will do everything 4 me. I also met him . He also promised me that he wil not leave me alone. But now he is ignoring me after his fixed relationship. Its very much hurting. I tried everything to become normal bt its not working. Plz help me.

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Ruchi

Move on Prity, He is already in a committed relationship and it’s not worth to plan future with this guy. You might find difficult to forget him but keep yourself busy with things you love and try to ignore him.

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Ranvijay singh

Hello Ruchi.
I have hurted gf by telling about our love relation to her family nd my family… And now she is saying to everyone that she doesn’t love me and doesn’t want to marry me. Actually few years ago her parent tells my parent through my uncle that they wanted to marry her daughter with me. And we both know each other as we are classmates, then i ask her personaly and she says yes. But recently her parent started searching other guy for her. And she never want to be against her parent nd let them down. So she strictly warned me to not to tell anyone about our secret love relation. While She loves me nd want to marry with me for 3 years. But now when i tell it to our family, then she is saying like this, that i hurted hur and humiliate her and her family infront of everyone. But she really loved me. What shoult i do??? How can i get her love back?? Plzzz help me…

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Ruchi

Hey Ranvijay,
I guess there is some misunderstanding. Ask her when and how you insulted her and her parents? The only thing you can do is to clear all difference and if there is small issue then she and her parents will surely understand. Give it a try. Best luck :)

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Rosaline

I feel I am falling very badly for one of my friend’s brother.
i addressed him s brother whenever i met him or spoke to him; these days we are talking too much and now i realized he too has fallen for me.
I do not know what to do ? Whats is wrong with me ? I know by calling someone as your brother doesn’t actually make them your’s sibling. Moreover Its been 7 months I am already in a relationship with a guy,who was not serious with me for 6 months, now when he is serious i guess i have moved on :(
This is so confusing ! It hurts when the recent guy says me”you would be with someone else” ” move on” ” this is not right, how can i fall for you like this?”

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sanshi

Im also falling love with guy who really loveing me and matching me.he met me 2009 through fb bt we didnt wanna meet.after 4years we met in accidently and fallen in strong love.we both didnt thing dat we are serious but it happen.i really respect him lot caz its really pure love.but he is having someone to marry its family praposel.dat relationship is start in 2010. We are in real.pure relationship but I never can have him.he also protecting me cz he cnt marry me.. Our names also similer/same attiudes /same favorites/even never can beleive our horuscope also same.we cheqed and realy good matching.anyway how many guys comming behind me I cant love them..im honoustly love dis guy but end of the day I know gonna marry another one..im happy dat I love someone very truly without expecting him…

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I_will_get_over_it

Hello Ruchi,
I just accidently visited your site last week as a result of finding a way out in my life, since then i’m very promisingly recovering from serious torments that i’ve been suffering for the last two years. In this context i might sound very ungrateful/unprincipled but believe me i had no control or clue over it,it is like this…. me and my best friend starting going out with two girls around same time in our lives, now it has been like 3 years. I started my relationship with my GF after a friendsship like 1 and half months….. three of them(my girl, my friend and her girl) study in the same university and we kept on going to many places together as couples. And it came to a point where i figured out that my best friends girl(will call her “S” here on) and i do have kind of similar attitudes/likings. but it really dint bother me much because i do had a girlfriend and she was my best friends girl. But as the time passed by(Being pretty honest i swear that i never knew how it penetrated me and how S sneaked into me) i started feeling bad/jealous\sad when i see them together(S and my friend), i gradually stopped going out together as i was feeling really uncomfortable seeing my best friend with her girl friend. I pretended to be very busy, i started to show lot of love towards my girl, on even the slightest of opportunities i get i tried to show S that i love my girl alot, i tried to show that my girl gets the comforts that your boy doesnt give you, and tried many many stupid stuff which did nothing but kept on deceiving me. Though i did all this my pain kept growing each time i saw my friend with S, For the last two years things never improved and it came to a point where its unbearable when i got to know that they are hoping to register their marriage this year. Consequently i started looking for answers to this heartache i’m having,,,,, my girlfriend does love me a lot but very whinny, as a good step forward i openly said her about the weaknesses that i see on her thinking that if she improves it might help me to love her more and forget all rubbish. it worked to an extent but i realized each time i see them on FB news feed i do suffer enormous torments for the next hour or so. Then for some reason finally i bumped into your site, i kept on practicing the points you have told above and also the points in “How To Get Over Someone You See Everyday” article. Im doing well right now ruchi, i always look into their profiles and photos together and do practice the point “Accept the fact that you are not in relation with that person and if you will continue, you will only get tears on your side.”….Actually ruchi once and forever i want to keep my faith to both my girl and my firend, i know may sound like a B**ta*d but please believe me it wasnt intentional….im trying to do my best to forget all this and start a new life, i think i cacn succeed,so thanks alot for serving people like us, only the one who has experienced it in real knows how painful it is…. eagerly looking foreward for your co-operation AND EVEN THE SLIGHTEST OF YOUR ADVISE IS TRULY WELCOME… thank you again

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Ruchi

Hey,
Glad you liked the advice and following too..See it’s really tough to forget someone whom you meet now and then or keep on getting updates from them. But gradually you will get used to it, just keep your self busy and try to ignore the FB updates from them. Start thinking something else when you see their updates. It really works.
And don’t feel guilty about your thoughts, it happens but now concentrate on your gf, she loves you and try to bring spark in your relationship and make sure its for you both not for “S”. Best luck :)

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I_will_get_over_it

Hey ruchi,

With great anguish im replying you that i have been trying honestly and hard to get my life back but No matter what, whenever i see her or see something related to her i still get deeply upset i feel like running out of my life its that depressing and disheartening… please have you got any final word of advice for me!!!!!

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Ruchi

You will get over with time..Cherish time you spent with her. Make your mind that you can’t force anyone to love you. Be positive, if she is not in your life then I am sure there would be someone better who would love you for what you are. Life is having another plan. Best luck :)

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Rinku

I am in love with a girl who says me often brother. i am 26 yr old n she is just 20 yr old. I am also confused by our age diff. She often calls me brother that’s why i also hesitate to propose her because i don’t want to hurt her. I cried badly lots of time whenever i miss her. i also feel that she does not love me because of my age and i am also not good looking. we both talk in class, Facebook and also we do text.

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silverlight

I got an answer to my dilema. It seems my love for my doctor is a case of transference. When I was a little girl I had an aunt who was very dear to me she was very protective of me and very supportive.She had the same qualities that my doctor has.She is no longer living and when I found someone like her I felt that special love again.Now I just have to realize my love for my doctor is a transferred love.

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Gela G

I need advice please my heart is torn and broken :(
About two years ago I had a break down after loosing my job of years and being married to a man with children from a previous marriage and being treated with no respect or appreciation. I guess I lost myself throughout the years and began to mess around on a website for someone to talk to. I talked to a few men and it was nice conversation but I just didn’t have it in me to presu anything further until I met HIM. For a year and half we had talked everyday building a friendship and a deep love between the both of us however; we are both married but not happy in our current relationship. We are alike and have so much passion between Us that we can never see each other without being all over each other, when we are not together we feel empty. When we are not talking on the phone we are emailing or texting. Keeps getting stronger with everyday until guilt started playing on his mind more than mine because of his religion and choices. He tells me he can’t love me anymore. He said I can’t stop loving you but I can stop seeing you and outing us in that position. The next week he tells me he loves me but can’t anymore, that he loves his wife and can never love another woman whole. I ask him what about our love? He said it’s suppressed and being purged out of his system. The guilt was getting to him and he told me he needs to remove himself from my life so I can focus on my marriage and he could focus on his but we never have gone longer than a day without talking in all that time. I’m thinkinking we will talk again but he refusing to talk to me he don’t answer my text my mail and won’t call me and hasn’t for 2 months

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isabel

You are totally true!(: we shouldn’t even expect anything from them but still love hurts when u gave everything(your trust)to your partner i dont knkw why they hurt the people that they love:/

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peter pan

what the hell am i supposed to do if i am dreaming about a girl, im sick of this shit, every time i fall in love its with someone i cant have, and this blody time im dreeaming about her, its terrable, im used to not being abe to have someone, but when she wants me too its even harder, stupid dreams !

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Ruchi

Anytime Abhishek, May be you consider to make her join our Facebook Page. She will start believing in love.:)

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