Falling in Love with Someone You Can’t Have

Falling in Love with Someone You Can’t Have

Falling in love is the best feeling in this world. I know many of you think that love hurts a lot, partners are not trustworthy, they don’t understand your feelings or only you love them they don’t. If you feel all these negative things then please read this each and every word of it, with a practical approach. I am sure, it will help you a lot to enjoy your love rather than regretting it. This is one of the worse things that can happen to anyone, falling in love with someone you can’t have.

>The most challenging phase of love is when you fall in love with someone, whom you can’t get or not even think of getting him/her in your life. It hurts sometimes, and you even feel very painful when you miss that person. Loving someone is not in your control, it’s just a feeling and tough to get over it.

falling in love with someone you can't have

Now, it’s up to you that how you take this love in your life, with a positive approach or negative approach? Having a negative approach has kept on crying for that person, who don’t take you more than a friend and not even notice your tears. Another approach is to take the feeling positively and enjoy the moment to the fullest.

How to be in love when another person when another person don’t love you back:

  • Think in a positive way:

If you think that providing tips is very easy and applying them is very difficult than just for five days try to apply these tips with a positive approach. No tips can make your life better unless you want it to be better. If you will keep sympathy with yourself and expecting same with others, you won’t able to enjoy the feeling of true love.

  • Expectations:

True Love is always unconditional, then why you start expecting that the person should love you back?

If you are expecting to return the love back as much as you love him/her then it’s not true love. Why can’t you just love that person? Love is neither a business nor a give and takes relationship. How you can think of love when you have so many expectations. Even if he/she doesn’t reply to your text messages, emails or phone calls, why you get hurt? You want to convey your feelings, and you did that. Don’t ever expect that the person will respond it back otherwise it will hurt you for sure.

  • Don’t force them to love you:

The main reason for not getting the person you love is that they don’t love you or might be committed to someone else. Think once from his/her point of view, you might not be the one he/she is looking for. Everyone has their choice, and they have all rights to choose the one they find interesting and loving to them. You can never force anyone to fall in love with you.

The day you will stop crying for your love, you will start enjoying it. If you find it tough to get over the person you love then waits for my next article for tips to get over someone you love.

But yes, the best advice would move on. Life is short, and there is no point in waiting and falling in love with someone you can’t have. Instead, find someone special, who completes you.

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Hey fellas, I'm Ruchi, and I blog about various relationships advice and problems, that I see in my day-to-day life. Check out my archive...

{ 51 comments… add one }

  • Jasmine November 4, 2015, 4:53 pm

    Hi ,it was really nice article about forbidden loves. I have this kind of experience but that’s some how different ,when we see each other is like that he loves me too but after leaving no news of him!this is really complicated and I don’t know what to do ?would you please help me?

  • JaneDoe November 9, 2015, 2:16 pm


    I need urgent advise!!!! I’m happily marries (with its ups and downs)- 4 years now. have a 20 month old baby. Recently a contract worker in our office has been showing signs of interest, i warmed up to him. we have shares 2 hugs, i have told him something about him is driving me crazy. to the point i cannot get him out out my head. He is married and his wife is expecting their first baby. WHAT MUST I DO?? never been in a situation like this before. PLEASE HELP

    • manish yadav January 8, 2016, 8:30 pm

      You should try and avoid the situation as it’s not going to help anyone. Probably you guys will end up betraying your own spouses which is not good for any relationship. secondly you mentioned her wife is expecting a baby imagine if she gets to know about all this situation would turn more critical and eventually effect her health too. So think from all perspective and make a wise decision

  • Avu November 15, 2015, 12:30 am

    I met this guy and we both the same age (12). I met him last night on a school event we spoke and I fell in love with him but the thing is he said I should invite him on Facebook but I couldn’t find his profile and I don’t have anyway to contact him but there’s a friend of mine who knows him. I don’t know what to do…..I like this guy plz help

  • Achala November 15, 2015, 5:55 pm

    Hi Ruchi,

    First of all I want to thank you for this great article.

    I am a 24 year old woman. So, there’s this guy at work who I find very intriguing. However, I never got to talk to him since he works in a different division and I do not have any mutual friends with him. Sometimes I find him secretly checking me out or trying to catch an eye without getting creepy. I am sure, there is lot of mutual attraction happening between us.
    But since we don’t have any friends in common, I don’t seem to understand how can I approach him. Moreover, its workplace, so we are supposed to behave professional especially towards those whom we personally don’t know. Given that we are both part of Indian society where its too easy to label a girl as “Despo”, I don’t really know what to do.
    These days I just can’t get him out of my head, and that has been bothering me a lot. What should I do?


    • helper April 30, 2016, 12:35 pm

      Hey…..Achala ….life is simple nowadays. Just ask for number and share few chats. And start few good mornings and good nights. If he is interested he will continue more if not just forget him !!!
      If you don’t take initiatio n you will regret in future.Atleast you can do that !!!

  • Hina November 17, 2015, 3:39 am

    Hi Ruchi,
    I am right now in a dilemma, i have been together with a guy since like 6 plus months now and he doesnt want to lable us but tells me via his actions that he really likes me. We havent exchanged i love yous yet and i somehow feel like a fool as i feel i am falling for him. He is really genuine and what i feel is that if we wouldve wanted to cheat on me, he couldve done that easily even after being in a relationship with me and that is the only thing that stops me from letting him go. i feel attached to him now and i dont know how long should i wait for him to fall for me . i at times feel really happy with him as we both are really chilled out but at the same time there is still a void that persists. What should i do?

    • Ruchi January 13, 2016, 2:46 pm

      Hey Hina,
      If this guy truly loves you, he would not be scared to commit and label your relationship. Talk to him about where relationship is going, because it’s not worth to keep thinking he loves you or not? It hurts more, if the person is taking relationship lightly.

  • juan November 26, 2015, 11:21 am

    Everyone I have loved or love in my life is some on who is either not part of my life or they ar win love with someone else that’s a total of 5 girls in the spam on 9 years. I can’t deal with that anymore because I’m scared to be in love with anyone, just can’t take it anymore…

  • Kids November 28, 2015, 10:27 pm

    I’m in love with this girl out of no where . The whole things started when I thought I like this girl A I wanted to court her and I’m a good friend of girl B . Both A and B were Best Friend . Girl B help me to get her and me and her slowly become Best Friend and I thought we were just Best Friend . She help me to get close with girlA and one day girl A finally went out with me but together with one of my Friend and girl B . After the whole trip , I suddenly feel like girl A is not the girl that I wanted but is girl B . Now someone likes girl B and the person is one of my Best Friend and I doesn’t know what to do . Please give some advice .

  • Jane November 30, 2015, 3:03 am

    Hi im in need of some greattt advice right now i met the love of my life when i was 16 i had our child at 17 we was together until i was 20 we started falling apart he cheated on me with a 15 whom he is still with now i was so heart broken i tried to leave him alone he got committed to her in love with her i met someone knew who i ended up having 2 kids from i never seen it happening he showed me love when i needed it most and shit happened but i never stop loving my first love we were still having sex and going on about our life i try act like im ok with it cause ill do anything to have him in my presence but i want us back i want his heart back i dont know how to tell him or should i tell him cause he is deeply in love now its been killing me inside for almost 4 years i haven’t been happy i been trying to shake this its not happening i still love him the same he feels i had kids on him but we wasn’t together i want his heart back more than anything what do i do my heart won’t let me move on its been years im hurting bad

  • Alok kumar December 1, 2015, 6:43 pm

    I love a girl from last 6 years but she just avoiding me I fell very embrassing she love another guy

  • Vini December 5, 2015, 5:10 am

    actually friends ( to the unknowns)
    pls do pray for my relationship which i am seeking from 2yrs..
    I saw my dream guy through facebook..he was my cousin’s mutal friend , i gave him a request and fortunately he accepted me…
    i was studying at 9th at that time and he was doing his B.tech
    i use to chat with him first then only he will reply to me..
    we dont chat requarly or does he..
    I felt sad but that saddness was just lasted for 5mins..
    In July 19th 2013, i saw this guy through outside of my car as it was going so speed..
    i just told him that i saw u and he said ‘yea’ ..thats it..
    In April 12th 2014, he posted a share that ‘I STILL REMEMBER THE FIRST DAY I SAW U’. and this was the post.above that post, he wrote ‘through windows, saw you chose you, just like that’.
    I thought it would be me and i was happy and asked is it me who u described..
    He was like i have girlfriends who is working in a hosiptal near his place..I was heartbroken
    Told him i was in crush with u when the first i saw u
    he was like ‘u could have told me bfor’
    But at that time i was in complem about that..
    i USE to tell him now that i miss u
    but he asked why do i misss him
    and pls dont speak like that..
    I told frankly him now that
    ‘I told you , u r a special person for me.
    why dont u understand that..
    Okay i won’t tell nything i miss or nything.
    we didnt see eachother
    we didnt talk
    we met in fb
    and there is no reason to miss u since i dont know or either u dont know me
    these r the thoughts which come up to ur mind
    and pls dont ever think its cuz of an infactuation or somethinelse i miss u
    innyum i wont say such things
    i took the shame.!
    and pls dont ever think i just said it for a timepass or for fun. If i really miss ap erson i do tell them.
    But thanks for teachin me not to tell to certain people’.

    that’s it..
    he didnt see the msg
    But am decided am not gonna chat unless he chat with me..but still guys i do love him..

  • Parker December 5, 2015, 5:01 pm

    Hello Ruchi,
    I really need your help.
    There is this girl i have really fallen for and i think i love her and care about her a lot and sometimes we move like lovers but my problem is that, even though she understands me and she knows how much i care about her, she is committed to another guy before i met her but i really treat her my girlfriend and sometimes she could even say that she wish her guy was like me, i always buy her gift and even we could kiss, she even spend more with me than with her guy. but my big problem is that she always says that she love her guy and there’s no change for me and she try to says things that will push me away but i really love her and i want to be with her. please tell me what to do to make her my own…

    • Ruchi January 13, 2016, 2:37 pm

      Hey Parker,
      If that girl loves another guy then she won’t ever kissed you. Sorry to say, but I guess she is just using you. You need to lose her, a good girl won’t ever cheat on someone she loves. It’s tough but time to move on.

      • maddy April 12, 2016, 12:33 am

        in same ship .. but ruchi its very tough to move on ….

  • Josh December 8, 2015, 8:25 am

    I have a sad story to tell it might sound crazy but i found the love of my life in preschool we were best freinds untill 3rd grade even though we said we were boy freind and girlfriend we just matched from their we grew with one another for several years till awere first kiss in the same year her father passed and i had to move well a long story short its been 16 years now and we just ran into each other at a doller g both have been married and devorced but now she is remarried and hates him but wont ever leave because of their daughter and i cant tell her that my heart races over a text and to hear her voice kills me inside because im holding my sole back from the presapes of despair all iwant to do is hold her and tell her im here every thing will be ok. But i cant do that to her i cant have her choose between me and her family so i suffer in silence and cant even see another women becase i fill it in my heart that i cant love them like thay would deserve.

  • Mo December 12, 2015, 5:21 pm

    Im a man in a lebesian relationship. The relationship they have is just a sex thing they was together for 2/half yrs..im in love with her n she have feelings for me but i cant get her away frm her…she in my life atleast 4days out of the week plus she babysits for me..how can i enjoy this love or should i stop everything and just b me again.

  • Adun December 24, 2015, 10:48 pm

    I tynk I am going crazy and I need help, I have loved a guy like forever, a times he gives me hints that he likes me and a times, he just acts cold, I don’t know what to do, I feel my heart is about to explode and I can’t tell him

  • Adun December 25, 2015, 9:26 pm

    I think I am going crazy, there z this guy I have liked since forever, we attended pry skul together and we lost contact for some time, later we got talking on fb. i knw ds can sound insane, but I have liked him since we were in pry school, I tot I would get over it with time but I just sink deeper, I know he currently does not have a gf but I can’t bring my self to tell him my feelings because he is very handsome and intelligent and has lot of girls that are better than me that wants him. I am so confused if I am jus obsessed about him or I love him. I know this sounds pathetic, but this has affected my past relationships, and e jus keeps giving me mixed signals.

  • sagarchowdhury December 29, 2015, 12:41 am

    A girl used to see my pics ,her friends told me that she likes me,she started avoiding me so that the infatuafion does not converts into love which she admitted to me,then again things were normal,we both became good friends,i never thought of loving her,few days back,some friends went to a tour or short weekend ,circumstances put both of us to share the same room ,we didnt even touched each other ,i never thought any fishy stuffs nor did she.. when we came back after the trip ,i started missing her very much, she aslo said that she is missing me very much, i told her ki i started liking her,she told me this type of feeling happened to her when we were not friends,this is just infatuation again indirectly she tells me that she is missing very much and she dont have the courage to say that and again she is telling directly that she dont have love feeling for me , even she tries to make me feel jealous by singing songs and telling me that this songs are for my future boyfriend etc etc.. i couldnt understand her feeling ?couldnot find any solution to my problem? Help me out plss

  • Amy December 30, 2015, 6:16 am

    Dear Ruchi,

    My “love” story is weird. I met this guy on my 12th bday and have loved him ever since. We used to be friends, but one day we just never talked the same way and completely ignored each other. I’m 15 no and he’s 17. Recently we met at a baby shower and I have to say he was looking like… I don’t know, a very HOOOT person. I felt like I had died when I saw him. My friends, sister, and cousin kept telling me to talk to him but every time I tried, my words got all tangled up and I spit out rubbish. The thing is, I NEVER TALK LIKE THAT. I’m class VP and have to make speeches and talk to strangers all the time and I never get nervous. When trying to talk to him, I feel like I’m going to die. Ughh. Anyways, all through the night, I stole glances at him and weirdly, we connected our eyes together various times for long amounts of time and he kept smiling at me. I don’t know what to take of this because let me remind you, we hadn’t spoken in two years. When I was leaving he stared into my eyes like he was piercing my soul. After I left, I looked at my phone and he had added me snapchat. I know you might say it’s just lust or I’m too young to love a person, but EVERY TIME I tell myself that and try to get over him, I can’t. It’s like he’s cast a spell over me because I frankly can’t get him out of my mind. PLEASE HELP ME!! Tell me what to do.Thanks.

  • Drake January 7, 2016, 2:42 pm

    Hey. I’ve fallen for a coworker of mine. The day she started working there I noticed her. Day by day I go by the registers just to catch a glimpse of her. We haven’t known each other for maybe,3 months and I know for a fact she has feelings for me too. She has just gotten out of a 2 year relationship and on top of that she’s known ghe guy since they were little kids, but he messed up and is continuing to do so. He desperately wants to be in her life again and she Is not in love with him anymore but still loves him you know. She can’t bear to break his heart and actually let him know that they are done for. I just don’t know what to do. Us she worth the storm that I may have to face to get to what’s brautfuom in the knife to get her to be with me. I know it’ll take time I just… I don’t know what to do. U get hurt when she hangs out with him all the time. She does that and still tells me that I’m someone special in her life that she doesn’t want to lose. She tells me how she misses me and how she want to just lay in bed with me all day feeling my breath on her neck and how She aches of the very thought of not seeing me again. I’m confused and in need of a little advice and guidance.

  • lonely t. January 14, 2016, 2:10 pm

    Hi im 14 & im not very beautiul but i felt in my teachers love who is 25 .i cant do any thing to make him to love me couse im not that ettractive & also i see him 3 times in a week i cant forget him and also cant do anythig except for cry ..what can i do? CAn you help me

    • Chris June 1, 2016, 4:39 pm

      Hey t, am very sorry you feel that way. I am not an expert or anything but I love philosophy. If you are going to enjoy your life then you ought to know that you are the best that you were supposed to be. A bad name on a stranger in the dirty streets is pathetic. But if that person becomes president, that name becomes popular and lovely, like a brand. So seek to fall in love with yourself. Invest in you, become smarter. You will glow and the people around you will reach out for your light. You might find more love, maybe even your teacher..

  • muralitharan January 25, 2016, 9:45 pm

    hi guys,
    my self muralitharan am fall in love with my child hood class mate ,bt still we are just a frnd only .nw am doing my graduation. after my school days still she didnt see my face till now how can i express my feeling to her and how to make her to love me. i think she is not intrest in love narriage plz give any suggestion to me.
    thank u.

  • Anonymus and In Love February 3, 2016, 9:40 pm

    Hi everyone. I could really use some advice.

    So.. I don’t really get the chance to talk to the guy I love face-to-face. But I’ve observed him. It’s really creepy how you just slowly start understanding them, and then their face forces its way into your dreams. I don’t know what he feels about me, and I know that a relationship with him is something my family would never approve of, because of family differences.

    Help me, please. I really need some advice.

  • Edward February 22, 2016, 12:32 am

    I need help.

    I know this girl and she is stunning. Everything about her is perfect, she is the closest thing to flawless I have ever seen, I cannot get her out of my mind. I have known her for 3+ years and have been in love with her every day. I know I will never be able to get with her but yet I still dream of a future with her.
    I treasure every little bit of contact we have, for example today (February 21st) is my birthday and she sent me a text wishing me a happy birthday, to say the least, I melted. I have never felt anything like this before and I don’t know how to react to it. Now I am going to give some details about our current relationship so that someone can get a better understanding of where I am coming from.

    We don’t talk that much, and when we do its very brief. We are both swimmers and practice at the same pool on the same team at the same time. She is 3 years older than I am. She is good friends with a few of my best friends and it makes me really jealous. I am good friends with her brothers who are my age. She knows how obsessed with her I am, everybody does, even our coach.
    We have carpooled a couple of times and that is the longest we have ever been alone together. We share the same taste in music and a few other things.

    Even though we aren’t anything right now (and sadly I doubt we ever will be) I think of her as if she were mine. When I say that I don’t mean I call her babe or anything. But I would be devastated if anything were to ever happen to her.

    So if you can please help me it would be greatly appreciated.

    I’m losing my mind over her.

  • ARies March 9, 2016, 1:08 am

    Please help me I love a girl you is 22 and I’m 17 I love her badly.. But surely can’t have her, she knows my feelings but cannot do anything because it isn’t right for her to do so too.
    I have started doing idiotic stuff. I get aggressive quite easily. But when I see her it’s only her. She responds to my love sometimes, but the ignorance most of the time towards me makes me aggressive. I am now thinking of suiciding that’s the only way I can forget her. Help needed

  • Julius Kabs March 14, 2016, 7:33 pm

    That’s very interesting to know but it ain’t easy. How then do you move on??

  • rohit Singh March 15, 2016, 12:03 am

    Mam I proposed a girl two year ago…but neither she responds me nor she denied my proposal..and we use talk daily..infact we r good friends having a good understandings between both of us.but she always use how people used to fall in love??? She never fall in love..this that so on…there may be two things ..either she doesn’t realize or she don’t want to show her feelings bcoj of certain reasons..as the first excuse given by her was dissimilarity of caste..there r several excuses she used to give daily …mam plzz suggest me what should I do….I love her very much but still she doesn’t accepting my proposal…

  • maddy April 12, 2016, 12:19 am

    hi ruchi very well written …
    actually she know tht i like her and i know she is involved with nice guy … its my mistake i took so long tht from no wer he cem n he conquered..
    now here i am who still want to convey his love to her what to do yaar :'(
    m ready for rejection but still i want to ask her … i dont want to regret in future that i dint ask her … time is running …
    some times i feel m already friendzoned n she dominates me like hell sorry is very common word i start with m fucked up …. CAN YOU HELP ME

  • Anonymous April 20, 2016, 3:40 am

    Hii.. I liked this article very much and I want to share wat I have been going through since last few days.. There was a senior in my college.. Who is very handsome and a very nice person at the same time.. He himself used to talk to me and I started liking him.. Then one day I came to know he has a gf.. A serious one.. I tried to move on and not think much about him.. But in the last few days we talked a little more.. And the day before yesterday was his last day in college.. I never thought this would happen to me but now I miss him like crazy.. Every time I stupidly look at his profile in fb wishing that he wud msg me.. I have gone through his every pic and every post on fb.. It’s like every time it’s him only that I think about.. I feel really disappointed that why every time I have to forget and move on.. And it hurts to think that this time also, I have no chance.. I have to move on.. It’s a very bad feeling..

  • Bernadette April 25, 2016, 12:26 am

    I don’t know if this happened to you guys but I have a cousin I feel that I’m falling for him. Everytime that we are together I laugh and also he comforts me a lot. I don’t know. Reality is very difficult. He is my couzin and I don’t want any controversies. Should I have to let go? But how? Please help me I need some advice..

  • Anel April 25, 2016, 8:25 am

    I feel in love with a coworker with out knowing she was in a relationship, when i foud out, it was too late, i have already fallen for her, we have mutual friends and now we hang out all together, but when we do, she seems to like me too, what should i do?

  • Alexander May 6, 2016, 3:03 am

    Hi every one…..acually I have a problem my classmate falles in love with me he tells me today…..without stopping he was so happy to telling me that he says that I’ll die for you if you wanted…!!! Whenever we’re 13 years-old!!!!
    And I don’t knew if he lying or not ….sometimes I feel like that’s nothing more that a jok ….but when I’m thinking about all his lookings and watchings of me
    I can’t think that’s lie …..so please someone help me what I have to do….!!!!

  • rasta May 16, 2016, 12:59 pm

    Hi! I’m from the Philippines and my name is “rhasafire”. anyways, I just want to say this page is truly amazing.I have been in this experience for 5+ years and my inner mentality has been always the opposite based on this article. I admit that it is very ineffable reading this and I feel so stupid for being close-minded. but eventually, after reading it 10x , I slowly realized that everything in this article is actually 93% correct.

    Starting today, I will live my life with joy and love.
    Just want to say Thank you for this and I wish you could help more people. 🙂

  • RAO June 9, 2016, 2:13 pm

    i fell for one of my friend he just visited me and we spent two days together. those were memorable days that I could ever have. I knew he is already committed with someone but right now after he got back to his home I am still sad and things that were normal to me are much tougher for me. Its hard for me to get through it. I cant feel anything good about myself. I even told him and he said we are still good friends and we will be, but i don’t understand why i still want him besides me. I think I am expecting too much. conveyed my feeling but still i want him to think the same way…………… i don’t know what to say about this.

  • Nae June 13, 2016, 9:43 am

    I’ve always dreamed of finding true love. Never have I taken the time to wait, be patient until the right one came along. I gave up easily. Became discouraged that I would never find this true love. I’ve settled twice now with marriage. Gave up and learning to be content with second best. Maybe I’m not meant to love and be loved. Not meant to find true happiness.. Falling in love with the man I love now is as natural as the air I breath. I’ve find the perfect man for me. He’s my husbands best friend. Oh well… Like I said. I’m not meant for love or happiness.

  • AnotherGirlWithIssues June 25, 2016, 7:43 pm

    I’m 22. In a relationship with someone I just do not have feelings for (Yes I am going to leave him I only just realised this myself). I’ve fallen for someone else. Hes in a relationship and in the same boat as me (not feeling it anymore). Two people I know have told me he clearly likes me and that there is an obvious spark but I’m so oblivious I didn’t even notice it. Now I really don’t know what to do. Waiting around will kill me but I don’t feel confessing anything will help the situation either! I’m not miserable about how I feel in fact I’m overjoyed. I can’t believe I’ve found someone I actually can see a future with! Please someone guide me a little!

  • jannedoe July 3, 2016, 2:10 am

    hi i hope you will see my comment first off all i am not good at English so if i had a mistake forgive me. i am in love with my old friend’s ex and the same time one of my bestfriends. i had a best friend a year ago after that we had a argument and now we hate each other probably. And the guy i like her ex boyfriend but I still guilty. and the other hand he is my really close friend for a long time but he said that he likes me for a long time too and I feel soo guilty so i said to him we dont even talk after that. he cried, i cried. but leave each other. but now i miss him so much. what can i do in this situation please help?

  • Navya July 7, 2016, 3:45 pm

    .i studied my past two yrs pu in hostel. Aftr cming bck to my native i had a proposal by one boy saying e waited fr me fr two yrs. E loves me truly. Suitation made to accept his love.Nw in my new college one boy love me truly.e started to msg me i too msgd him.i am feeling like i hv fallen to him.n at the same time i got d news tat first boy didnt loved me. E was hving gf bfre oly n to make er jealous e acted like loving me antha. N e said sorry n left me n went wit er girl. Nw i am hving my college mate.til two month i didnt say my collegemate tat i had a boyfriend n aftr tat wen i say all wat e did fr me,hw e cheated me. Nw dis boy also left me saying e loved me truly e didnt expect i ll cheat him. Bt i love him truly e didnt understand e left. Wen my first bf break up with him. I really didnt cry. I didnt felt so much.bt wen e is leaving me i am feeling like dieing. Wat shal i do. N say me directly if u feel there is my mistake n plz guide me too

  • Anon July 14, 2016, 7:54 pm

    I am stuck!!!!!! I am sharing my feelings for someone I can’t have for a fact. He is my work colleague and working as a contractor. He is going to leave in two weeks time. I met him few weeks before for a project that we are working together. I am a very reserved person but his cheerful nature made me talk to him. My English is not that good and he is British born so I believe there’s a communication gap. He makes me laugh and I find him very appealing. He is very cute. I like talking to him. I like being around him. I am getting used to him. I wouldn’t mind if he didn’t have to leave but it is devastating when I think of him leaving the company in 2 weeks time. I’ve been crying and can’t get him out of my head. It’s not like we talk a lot. We just talk about work or he crack some jokes sometimes which makes me laugh. We shared our numbers due to some work trip and I whatsapped him saying I am confused and don’t know whether should I avoid him or continue being around him since it will be really difficult for me to get used to not having him around. He messaged me back saying it will be fine. I know for sure he just takes me as a colleague and that’s his nature to be nice to everyone. In addition, he is 3-4 years younger than me. We belong to a very different cultures and religions. I just don’t want him to leave but he must leave because he is starting his uni in few months. I’m in such an awkward situation. I want to get him out of my head but I can’t. I avoided him for a day but I don’t think he’s bothered. I wish I didn’t meet him. What shall I do?

  • Anonymous July 17, 2016, 2:20 am

    Hello I was wondering what you will think about my situation. This is the first time I have fallen in love. Only I have been married for a long time now. The person I fell in love with was also married for a similar time as me. I read your article and I agree 100% that people can be positive about being in love if it is true love. I cannot be with the person that I am in love with because they are married and I am married butt I still think it happy for me to have been in love with them. This person told me they were in love with me too but at a point in our relationship we realized we should give our marriages another chance. So we agreed to go our separate ways and it was hard and hurt a lot and I miss that person a lot. It has been some months now and we have not contacted each other at all I wonder if it would be okay to check up on them to see if they are happy and doing well. I also still want them to understand that I still love them and it makes me happy to love them even though we can’t be together. I don’t want to cause trouble I only want to express that I would be there for them if they ever we’re in trouble or they were not happy. Is this too selfish? I do not expect anything but maybe for them to say that I should not try to contact them. I still feel like life is too short for me not to let them know how I feel because they may still feel the same about me if I feel this way about them. Is that selfish?

  • Gail July 20, 2016, 9:12 pm

    I have been hanging with this man for about 1 1/2 years. He is married, but he lives in Portland and his wife in Eugene….for a number of years now. Recently his wife found out about this and gave him a small bit of a hard time. As well as texting me…yelling me that i should probably leave him alone as he will be working hard to fix their relationship. And although after a couple heated phone conversations between them, even mentioning divorce to me….i see that is not to happen. He and i spend almost every moment together, i have fallen in love with him. What do i do with this?

  • John Doe July 21, 2016, 10:48 am

    Hi Ruchi,

    You’re post is most true, but I wish it is as easy as it sounds. I’ve been in love with a friend for a year now. Last summer, we kissed a bunch of times before I flew to Boston, MA. Problem is, she had a boyfriend by the time, and they broke up around December. Now she claims that she loves him, but it seems like he doesn’t want to be with her anymore. He rejected her twice since then, and I’ve been telling her how much I love her and she rejected me in spring. I sent her flowers at one point, which provoked her to tell me to respect her decision. But now I’m back, and she seems confused while she claims that she still loves him. It all revolves back to my own pain. I really wish she could realize that he doesn’t want her and that I’m here, willing to give everything just to make our own story, but she doesn’t. What am I doing wrong? Should I try to make her slowly fall in love with me, like if I was to date someone new?

    • Ruchi August 13, 2016, 12:08 am

      Hey John,

      Love is not something that when you are not getting from one, you will switch to someone else. She loves that guy and it’s a feeling which she might not be feeling for you. It’s not that you might be doing something wrong, it’s just that she doesn’t feel same for you and you can’t force her to love you. If you keep asking her or telling same again and again, then she might start ignoring you. So, have patience and let her move on from an old relationship. Hope it helps.

  • Sandy July 22, 2016, 8:00 pm

    I started talking to a man who was my best friend when we was kids. He told me he had a girlfriend off the back. It’s been two years now and I fell inlove with this man and he said he feels the same. What should I do fall back leave him alone. I never been inlove with someone who have a girlfriend I wouldn’t even talk to a man who has a girlfriend

  • Melitsa Nieves July 29, 2016, 9:16 pm

    Hi need advice I was dating this guy since last year and we just recently broken up. I have two children from a previous relationship. This has been a back and forth thing that he says he’s in love with me but he. Just happy with me and he’s not ready to take on that responsibility of raising 2 kids that aren’t his.it’s like we broken up then we gotten back together but we officially broken up and I’m thinking like how can a man be in love with you if he can’t accept your kids.

  • Jeet July 31, 2016, 9:49 pm

    I love someone she is in our relationship ( My aunty’s brother’s Daughter)
    but she don’t know that I loves her…
    what I do?

  • J August 3, 2016, 1:57 am

    Hi this is years later, but I’d like to comment anyway. I’m a 54 year old male. I’ve been happily married for 25 years and hardly a bump till now. My wife’s very close friend and I go for walks. We’ve done this for some time. Recently I have begun falling for her. I can’t stop thinking of her. I will not cheat on my wife. I won’t do anything inappropriate our friend has done nothing to encourage this. I am miserable and alone. My wife’s self esteem is under siege these days (weight,work) I don’t want to add to her sadness. I can’t talk to our friend because she might hate me for this. I feel like a boy. I’m lost. I know I have to stop seeing her and it kills me


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