Are you a person who is always ready to help, soft spoken, decent, honest and ready to give love to all your friends and relatives? If yes, then I am sure that you would have felt at least once in life that people take you for granted. There are people who feel that they are taken for granted by their friends, spouse, colleagues, family etc. I know this truth is harsh but even with your loving and caring nature you don’t get the love and attention you deserve.
Even if you are one among them then it is better to analysis the situation and know why you are taken for granted by others because it hurts people when you genuinely care and love doesn’t care about your feelings.
Sometimes it’s your mistake that you give them lots of importance and all your feelings and emotions are attached to them. Before finding any solution to this problem, it is important that you should know the reasons why people take us for granted.
Reasons why People take you for granted:
- You love them:
This is the biggest reason why anyone starts taking you for granted. If you are expressive and told a person that what he/she means to your life, he/she will start thinking that whatever happen you are never going to go away especially when it’s an unconditional love. So, if you think that the one you love is taking you granted, it’s time to rethink about that relation.
- They rule your life:
There are people who have the power to make you smile as well as cry and when people become so important in your life, you become weak in front of them. You start living your life the way they want and try to do whatever makes them happy. The day others know their importance they will surely take you for granted.
- You are Adjusting:
If you are adjusting, emotional in nature and keep others first while taking any decisions in life then people will surely take you for granted. It’s good to be nice to people but start thinking that you won’t do anything wrong with them and you will adjust for them in any situation. It’s very easy to play with emotions for adjusting person.
- Never think about credits:
Even if you are trying to work hard for someone or care a lot for someone, you never expect to get care and credit in return then you need to become smarter. There are people whom you have to realize how much you work and care, sometimes you need to use words to show who you are and what your worth is. Once you will show your worth, they will stop taking you for granted.
- Self-confidence:
Sometimes people lose their self-confidence either because of failures or wrong decisions in life. If you will lose self-confidence, how others are going to respect you? Lack of confidence gives permission to another to rule you. Unless you won’t show your importance, other won’t come to know what you mean to their lives.
Above were few major reasons why people start taking you for granted but to avoid such situation, you don’t have to be bad or rude to them. If you are polite and giving then don’t change yourself to show your worth, there are other ways to show others that you exist. I will surely share them in my next article. Meanwhile do share your views with us that why people are taken for granted.
Do let us know what you do when people take you for granted? What changes you bring in yourself that people start valuing you and respect you as an individual?
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{ 31 comments… read them below or add one }
they take us for granted…because we love them…because we depend…because we don’t believe…and because we take ourselves for granted…
I think my frnd also take me for granted, because ** never cares about my feelings
people take me for granted becuase im not cool like them unlike them i try to be normal in sense just like a boy who has been in care of his parents for 20 years .I recently moved to kolkata from hyderabad in connection with a job im feeling lonely here as people here are very fast and believe in bonding fast on the contorary im being taken for granted im a bit straight forward in my approach.I tell the raw facts which they supposedly dont like so i havent made a good impression with anybody
Hey Rama, i can understand how you would be feeling. But you do have to make sure two things:
1. Never ever think that cool people are never taken for granted. Just be what you are and love yourself. learn new things in life but not for others but for yourself because its important to be updated in life and be in equal pace with others in life.
2. Sometimes being too raw is not good. You should always tell the truth in such a way that it doesn’t hurt others because truth is always bitter. Make sure you say it politely, see the mood of the person and explain why it is important for him/her to know the truth.
Hope this will help. If you have more queries, you can surely connect with us.
i feel people take me for granted when i i try to be friendly and open my heart to them ,specially when i talk about my weak points and flaws . i notice that the more serious u look , the more u get respect and attention . but am not a serious person ,rather i am a joking happy type. but there is something wrong about it . and i dont have enough self confidence. but i dont like people look at me in a way as if am stupid or something. that s why i need somebody to help me and tell me how to change my behaviour.
I’ve spent my entire life taking care of everyone else and I’ve always been taken for granted. It’s sad. Even your own family members will use you. None will be there when you need help except those you would least expect. I used to be kind and caring but now I stop myself from extending myself to others as I can’t trust my own judgment anymore.
Hi Pushover,
I’m reading your post late, actually I’ve just been introduced to this website. today is January 19,2013, but your post interested me because you said something that I wish and hope you thought about it before doing it. You said “I use to be kind and caring but now I stop myself from extending myself to others as I can’t trust my own judgment anymore.” Well, I would like to encourage you to never allow anyone else to dictate your life. If someone had taken you for granted it’s their lost if they’ve abused the relationship. It’s hard to find people who genuinely care about people anymore. But if you allow people ignorance to change who you are then you’ve given those people control over your very being. You don’t want to do that. When you see mean cruel people, you think to yourself they act so ugly, they have some real issues, if you allow yourself to become like them then you’re the same as them. You’re more valuable than that.
It is painful how people take advantage of u in life.i got married in 1992.i found my wife with one child.i had unconditional love for everyone,my in laws including extended families.after the death of my wife,these people showed me there colours each he/she with there own.i really got pissed off.that caused me get my all children away.now i’ve forgiven whoever was involved in the quarrels.but this tells me how people can change in this world.god knows he’s a rewarder of .
Hey guys, after reading comments from all of you, I feel like to gather all the people like us and form a separate country or city and stay there and then only these hypocrites will understand our true value. I have gone through enough from similar situation like you guys, so sometimes I feel terrible.
seriously….
I have started to notice that my mother takes me for granted and now that i have realised it and think the past, i know she has done it for a long time.
She expects me to toss my life and be my siblings and hers servant.
Example today my brother said that he is tired and would love to have a nap, but he cannot do it, cause he has daughter to look after.
So my mother said “Lara will come babysit her, so you can take a nap”.
She didn’t even ask me do i have anything to do today.
So i said “I’m not gonna babysit on my free day”, which she totally ignored and said to my bro again that “Lara will come babysit her”.
My bro said that he won’t take the nap and will babysit her own daughter, so it’s ok.
Right now i’m very pissed off, cause i feel that she thinks i don’t have right to live my own life how i want. I feel she thinks i should live my life how she wants.
I have to say that i’m quilty for loving them, adjusting usually, never taking credit and i don’t have self-confidence much.
Thought i say/ask, how i could not love my parents? I’m very family oriented person, and family is important to me.
I adjust to things i like to do, example i’m ready to pick up my bsisters kids from kindergarten, cause they are amazing kids and i like to see them, so i gladly help.
I don’t take credit, cause i believe that when it’s about family you don’t have to take credit, cause in family everyone should help each other in stuff.
Self-confidence, i don’t know what i should say about this one. I have always has low self-confidence.
Thought i say that i don’t let them rule my life, cause example in todays situation, i wouldn’t have went were my mom to say anything.
I have to say that now that i think about this whole situation, i’m feeling very sad, cause if the person who is taking me for granted would be someone more far example a friend, than it wouldn’t hurt me so much. But when i think it’s my own mother, it’s making me very sad and feels that i’m just a slave that doesn’t have any worth in life.
I’m sorry, but the main reason people take you for granted, is because THEY are selfish. You should not have to change your personality, or grow a bigger ego, for others to appreciate you. I find most people fall into the selfish category. Most people I know that feel taken for granted are people who go out of their way to do things for others and often compromise their happiness for the happiness of others. These are NOT flaws, but virtues. Surround yourself with similar people, though they are hard to find, and you’ll feel much more appreciated. Once you understand it’s them, not you, you’ll realize why being you is much better than being them. The world needs more givers, and less ego.
So crucify the ego, before it’s far too late
To leave behind this place so negative and blind and cynical,
And you will come to find that we are all one mind.
EXACTLY. MJK makes the point this article totally misses.
WE are not responsible for the behavior of others. Putting someone else’s bad behavior on the innocent party is just one more way of trying to make them feel bad about people who make them feel bad!
These reasons are backwards. How people treat us is a reflection of who THEY are, not who WE are. You should be allowed to be yourself in life without fear of being treated poorly, even if you are a sweet or soft soul. You shouldn’t have to “harden” to be treated with respect. You should be respected and treated well because humans should all give each other respect and kindness period.
People who take people for granted do it because THEY don’t love THEMSELVES so they do not know how to love and respect others. Taking people for granted is a round about way of trying to bring someone down because they feel down about themselves. It’s not about you – if they take you for granted, they are trying to make you feel worth-less, and they need to do this because they don’t feel worthy of you.
You do not need to change who you are, or change your behavior to change someone else… their behavior is their responsibility. You have the choice to not put up with t, but never let yourself feel bad that someone treated you bad – that’s on them 100%.
The person I love the most took me forgranted. I admit he became my everything and would do anything for him. He loved me but other things just became more important to him like the gym, and his car. He will cancel a plan just because he has to be at the gym. We were getting married soon. He took me forgranted. I left. It hurts so much, he’s begging for me back… But I think its best for me to move on.
I feel taken for granted by my family all of the time and it is making me a bitter, angry person. I have always tried to be loving and giving and I thought it would be reciprocated, but instead, I have found that the more you give, the more they take and they just expect you to be the unending well of accommodating their needs, but when the shoe is on the other food, forget it, no one is there. It boggles the mind that people can be such selfish takers. I get this from the majority of my family. Are most people just self centered asses or am I just the easy mark? I don’t know, but it has been very dispiriting and I’m about done with all of them. I am beginning to think it is really true that “nice guys finish last” and it is too bad that it is that way.
I am just learning that I don’t have to make friends with all of my neighbors and that some people are more toxic to me than others. I am recovering from a heart problem and burn out. For a long time in my life, I thought that if you are kind to people, respect them, treat them with generosity, no matter how jealous they are of you; that you could straight that relationship in your neighborhood. I thought I had to be in good steed with all my neighbors. I found that to be false, because it turns into an attitude where they more or less say, “I will only accept you, if you keep giving me valuable things and keep doing slave labor for me” (which by the way is enabling extortion on my part). I think I learned how to enable extortion when I was a stepchild; I kept trying to get the approval that never came. Finally I realized it was the person and not how I was treating them and let go of it. This trying to be accepted only leads to burn out; there are some people who are incapable of love and accepting others and they want perks for it instead. I have learned it okay if some neighbors don’t like me, some step relatives don’t like me and that I can survive a lot better without them. INSTEAD today, I seek out the people that like me for myself, who celebrate my presence without me having to labor or give presents, that enjoy my attention, companionship, we have fun together and we even take turns taking each other out to dinner. It’s not a one sided deal anymore. I am beginning to feel less burned out. (I grew up where I wasn’t approved of, no matter what I did. Now I’m learning the rest of the population isn’t like that. )
I have been telling my husband and my two teenage kids that they have been taking me for granted for awhile now and its seems that they just blow if off but I genuinely feel that way. I work 12 hours a day 3 to 4 times a week, I clean , wash clothes and cook never asking for much but help around the house. There are times when everybody just sits there waiting for me to do it all.I do understand that I am the woman of the house but WOMEN alsov need help sometimes. Just dont know how else to get them to understand my feelings. I know we may not be rich but its the little things that count.
Actually I don’t expect anything from people who take me for granted. All I want is that they have no right expect something from me. Taking advantage of someone’s nature for personal benefit, nothing can worse than that.
Hi!
Since I’ve been about four years old many people take me for granting starting with my family relatives! I’ve just entered college in another city so I promised myself I would stop letting any new friends take advantage of me!! In high school many people would take advantage of my niceness and regularly ask me for help in anything! However it really hurts when your own friends take advantage of you and take you for granted!! Sadly some friends here have realized I was a nice person and take me for granted!
I’m sick of people taking me for granted but I don’t dare telling people that I won’t always help them!!
Jane
Im almost 20 years old and practically all my high school friends that I have had have taken me for granted because I consider myself ‘too nice’. I appreciate the people around me too much and I build trust in relationships. I always tend to be there and do whatever people want because I care too much. All those highschool people have gone now. so in the end is it worth being nice? I have a couple of people now from High school whom we see one in a while but they are very selfish and always do what they want. It turns out these people have no friends either because they keep loosing ppl around them. And im fed up with them doing what they always want. Whenever I go out they are not interested whenever they want me to come they expect me to run and then they whine after that. I put so much effort and get little in return.
I’m the one that’s always there for my family.my mom lives close to me because she know I’m going to be the one to take care of her. I have two brothers and one sister and I’m the youngest. my family know I will help them any way I can but, no one show’s me that they care for me the same. I have one child who’s 31 years old. my son takes advantage of me along with my family.I take care of my husband to the fullest. he don’t show any love towards me.christmas I brought everyone gifts , I never get anything not even a card. If god was to tell me to come home and be with him, I will be ready. It has to be better than here on this earth. I really feel no one loves me no matter how much love I show them.
I have always been there for my husband, family and friends. I basically try everything to give them the comfort of doing things for them (even out of my way). I just feel that I do not deserve to be there for people all the time. I’am a very busy person, but still when my family or friends need me…. I can sacrifice my work for them. But on the other hand, I do not get the same when I need help. When I’m sad I cannot rely on my friends… actually I consider myself to not having as much REAL friends…. My husband thinks I’m so powerful….that he take things lightly whenever I feel this way. Now I need to write how I feel because I have no one to share this feeling of loneliness…..
Dear,
I always feel like that people always take me for granted, as the love, respect, and support, which i gives to them i never get back the same.
even whenever i try to transfer the information from one person to another for somebody’s sake they always blame me like a Hyppocrete, whereas am not like that, i always wanted to help and secure people from all their problems.
all i can really say is,what makes you cry,makes you strong…if you feel that sharp pain in your heart and you can’t bear,jst cry….and its goona be over….am saying this out of expirience
I was in a bad relationship with my husband of only 2 1/2 years. We were separated for 1 year and together the next. That already spells disaster right? When my husband cleans up his act and moves me and our 2 kids (1 from a previous relationship) to where his family lives (my in-laws), its pretty horrific. They expect me to TAKE CARE OF EVERYTHING. He only worked to pay for rent and I did the rest. We lived paycheck to paycheck, but still got assistance and I got a job during the holidays. I cooked, cleaned, sent my son to school in the mornings, took care of our daughter until my husband got home and cooked again before I left for work (closing shift). I literally did everything I could to keep my husband and kids happy. All i asked was that my husband clean up after the kids, do the dishes when he could and all he wanted to do was watch tv, sleep, sex. I am the prime example of a great, hard-working, loving mother and wife that was taken for granted not just by my husband, but his entire family as well (older sis, mom-in-law… the works)! My suggestion, leave while you still have you’re dignity and beautiful worth!!!!
Sorry to say but I would suggest you should move on. You are capable and strong enough to take care of your kids. I am suggesting because if you are not satisfied with your family, your kids won’t able to get good environment and thus think about your kid’s future and decide whats best for them.
Having both father and mother(not broken home) while the kid is growing is continuous. It’s relevant and significant to the kid’s future and most likely best for the kid. Instead of the kid having a separated parents(broken home). Parents should work their own issues and make it work. That, if, they really care about their kid.
I would like to know the suggestions .. how to make people realize that i m equally important for them as they r for me
I think they taking me for granted because I’m too quite and I’m not that clever. So I find it hard to keep people in my corner. Everyone get close to me endup taking me for granted.
I guess I was just taken for granted.. it hurts me to know that but its true… we are living together since 2005, got 3 kids, and married.. sadly he just marry me for the sake of the kids and not just because he loves me.. he still cant move on with her ex girlfriend.. i did everything, i have tried everything.. but still not enough for him… i read his letter to his ex girlfriend saying that his life now would be better if he is still with her… his life is still for her… cant live without her.. he loves her so much than his self.. they broke up after the woman had an affair with the neigborhood when he came back from california… i was there for him at his worst.. but he still cant love me.. we are living together for the sake of the kids…
We are taken for granted by others because we give them chance to do it. Because they know that whatever they treat us, we are still here, besides them.