Are you a person who is always ready to help, soft spoken, decent, honest and ready to give love to all your friends and relatives? If yes, then I am sure that you would have felt at least once in life that people take you for granted. There are people who feel that they are taken for granted by their friends, spouse, colleagues, family etc. I know this truth is harsh but even with your loving and caring nature you don’t get the love and attention you deserve.
Even if you are one among them then it is better to analysis the situation and know why you are taken for granted by others because it hurts people when you genuinely care and love doesn’t care about your feelings.
Sometimes it’s your mistake that you give them lots of importance and all your feelings and emotions are attached to them. Before finding any solution to this problem, it is important that you should know the reasons why people take us for granted.
Reasons why People take you for granted:
- You love them:
This is the biggest reason why anyone starts taking you for granted. If you are expressive and told a person that what he/she means to your life, he/she will start thinking that whatever happen you are never going to go away especially when it’s an unconditional love. So, if you think that the one you love is taking you granted, it’s time to rethink about that relation.
- They rule your life:
There are people who have the power to make you smile as well as cry and when people become so important in your life, you become weak in front of them. You start living your life the way they want and try to do whatever makes them happy. The day others know their importance they will surely take you for granted.
- You are Adjusting:
If you are adjusting, emotional in nature and keep others first while taking any decisions in life then people will surely take you for granted. It’s good to be nice to people but start thinking that you won’t do anything wrong with them and you will adjust for them in any situation. It’s very easy to play with emotions for adjusting person.
- Never think about credits:
Even if you are trying to work hard for someone or care a lot for someone, you never expect to get care and credit in return then you need to become smarter. There are people whom you have to realize how much you work and care, sometimes you need to use words to show who you are and what your worth is. Once you will show your worth, they will stop taking you for granted.
- Self-confidence:
Sometimes people lose their self-confidence either because of failures or wrong decisions in life. If you will lose self-confidence, how others are going to respect you? Lack of confidence gives permission to another to rule you. Unless you won’t show your importance, other won’t come to know what you mean to their lives.
Above were few major reasons why people start taking you for granted but to avoid such situation, you don’t have to be bad or rude to them. If you are polite and giving then don’t change yourself to show your worth, there are other ways to show others that you exist. I will surely share them in my next article. Meanwhile do share your views with us that why people are taken for granted.
Do let us know what you do when people take you for granted? What changes you bring in yourself that people start valuing you and respect you as an individual?
Latest posts by Ruchi (see all)
Contents
they take us for granted…because we love them…because we depend…because we don’t believe…and because we take ourselves for granted…
I think my frnd also take me for granted, because ** never cares about my feelings 🙁
people take me for granted becuase im not cool like them unlike them i try to be normal in sense just like a boy who has been in care of his parents for 20 years .I recently moved to kolkata from hyderabad in connection with a job im feeling lonely here as people here are very fast and believe in bonding fast on the contorary im being taken for granted im a bit straight forward in my approach.I tell the raw facts which they supposedly dont like so i havent made a good impression with anybody 🙁
Hey Rama, i can understand how you would be feeling. But you do have to make sure two things:
1. Never ever think that cool people are never taken for granted. Just be what you are and love yourself. learn new things in life but not for others but for yourself because its important to be updated in life and be in equal pace with others in life.
2. Sometimes being too raw is not good. You should always tell the truth in such a way that it doesn’t hurt others because truth is always bitter. Make sure you say it politely, see the mood of the person and explain why it is important for him/her to know the truth.
Hope this will help. If you have more queries, you can surely connect with us.
we live in a shallow world, people go by looks, money power, great body and other such parameters. get real and stop being nice. always proactively ask people why they need help and what they will do for you., that way they will realize that you know the business of life and will stop taking you for granted. at the same time please remember to take any nice person for granted.
i feel people take me for granted when i i try to be friendly and open my heart to them ,specially when i talk about my weak points and flaws . i notice that the more serious u look , the more u get respect and attention . but am not a serious person ,rather i am a joking happy type. but there is something wrong about it . and i dont have enough self confidence. but i dont like people look at me in a way as if am stupid or something. that s why i need somebody to help me and tell me how to change my behaviour.
Think of it like this my friend, I am similar to your case , I am not a serious type ,I seriously seriously dead seriously love My soulmate to DEATH, but now we have arguement and she admit herself that she taking for granted , and I was finally REALIZE , SHE IS TAKING ME FOR GRANTED.
I think i am start losing myself and completely dependent on the others is when I start losing my self-confidence , it is when I do mistake on my life , like the article said, I was so confuse about my situation because I feel like I taking her for granted too, hahahaha ,so I thought I didn’t love her anymore, and so I was on the road finding out the reason why am I like this. And so down on the road, at one point , i have had enough of this confusion, so I play in a risky role , by be the Cheater ( not my type ,but if it make my love stop from hurting because of me, I would like to be Cheater so I can end her ” Agony ” ), and confess the girl I found interest it , said to her ” I like her ” , I thought I was doing good job because I finally thought that, my love wasn’t real ,until the day , after , I don’t see any motivation being with the girl that I confess, and I feel more like pain because I miss my Girl-Friend so much. And that’s when I lose my self-confidence.
Down the road now, I love her so much that I am willing do something I never do before, completely change myself into someone I never thought I could be, like EVERYTHING, she complain me how I don’t man up , so I man up , she complain me how I am smart enough for her , I try to study , she complain how I not mature enough for her , I try to act tough, and finally, she break the promise one after another , I was feeling so sad because maybe I do something wrong , and apology her so much and talking to her so much even thought she is the one at fault , NOT ME. I was loving her so much I forget that I am the victim here , not her.
Then finally she said, ” That’s it, I need a break for 1 month ! ” , and so i’m done with it, i’m just quietly. and then read this article , and I found out , so many stuff about myself.
Right now my brain is so bright because I know who I love and I know what the hell is going on have I been through my life since First Love her.
So my behavior toward her, like a person normal, not like the person who will do everything for her because I already did, and she just abuse it and treat me like for granted.
So I feel rather mad, and cooldown and start enjoying my life , find myself and I am really happy right now. I will start doing my best to serve the person I will be with, not for the specific person , but general person. If she can handle me and I can handle her , and we both known our place and not taking for granted. Happy ending , Love her so much. If not, then urghhhh…
You will change your behavior, if you understand thing, my friend :D, it’s like , you just MAD that you don’t care them and it’s like , give them a lesson and get ready for any result you might get.
I have been the person who taking her for granted first , and now i am the victim of being taking granted, so in other word, me and her are like changing role play here. ^^
hi dear..this has happened to me also many a times and may be bcz f this i keep on loosing a lot of friends and acquaintances..but i m sure there is smthng wrong in me also..first i let dem take me fr granted n den i just dnt want dem in my life wen dey illtreat beyond a limit
I’ve spent my entire life taking care of everyone else and I’ve always been taken for granted. It’s sad. Even your own family members will use you. None will be there when you need help except those you would least expect. I used to be kind and caring but now I stop myself from extending myself to others as I can’t trust my own judgment anymore.
Hi Pushover,
I’m reading your post late, actually I’ve just been introduced to this website. today is January 19,2013, but your post interested me because you said something that I wish and hope you thought about it before doing it. You said “I use to be kind and caring but now I stop myself from extending myself to others as I can’t trust my own judgment anymore.” Well, I would like to encourage you to never allow anyone else to dictate your life. If someone had taken you for granted it’s their lost if they’ve abused the relationship. It’s hard to find people who genuinely care about people anymore. But if you allow people ignorance to change who you are then you’ve given those people control over your very being. You don’t want to do that. When you see mean cruel people, you think to yourself they act so ugly, they have some real issues, if you allow yourself to become like them then you’re the same as them. You’re more valuable than that.
I respectfully disagree with Ruby. the biggest failure is to continue to be subservient while people keep taking you for granted. stop being a pushover and proactively choose who you wish to be friends with, do not offer help unless specifically asked for, if you offer help for no reason everyone will classify you as a use and throw toilet paper. always speak carefully and calmly and never offer help or volunteer for something unless there is something for you. if people disagree do not hesitate to seek a third person opinion and always verify your facts first. always communicate with everyone and under no circumstances should you offer unconditional assistance as that is a sure shot recipe for disaster. men are more prone to be taken for granted and that is because we do not understand lot of things. in your eagerness to please you will become the butt of ridicule forever, people who are much younger to you will rubbish you everyday and these days men and women can be vindictive and dangerous. so be careful when you are among people, be proactive in every discussion, people will respect you when they realise you are aware of what is happening around you, you cannot make everyone happy, always keep that in mind. practical advise is what you need. do not fall for idealistic talk.
I would like to say that I see your point of view Gaurav, but I agree with Ruby. Under no circumstances should you ever let anyone take advantage of you or your kindness. Ruby’s not telling Pushover to be subservient while people take him for granted. Ruby is simple saying that you shouldn’t change who you are for anyone or let someone dictate the kind of person you should be. You will come in contact with all types of people in life, both considerate and inconsiderate. The ones who are incapable of appreciating your kindness are the ones who are unworthy of you giving your all too. But, the one who are genuinely and equally there for you should be the ones who you share your goodness with. Never let anyone dictate or control who you are because you are handing your power over to that person. If it’s in your heart to be a good person, why would you deprive yourself of being who you are meant to be? If you live your life being half of who you are, you’re living a lie. Don’t be so wounded to point of building up a wall to protect yourself because you’re AFRAID of being used/hurt. You’ll become wounded and subconsciously, you’ll become bitter and unhappy and close yourself off to developing meaningful relationships. You have to learn how to trust in yourself and learn how to discern who is worthy and who’s not. NEVER CAST YOUR PEARLS TO SWINE… Every wonderful relationship must be cultivated and never rushed..it takes time. The reason why an am able to tell you this is because I’ve been used by so many people only to have them not reciprocate my kindness. I had to learn how to first, appreciate myself. Once I had an appreciation for myself, I learned that I was equally deserving of kindness. You have to know your worth. Outside of my birth family, my wonderful husband and my beautiful son, I have one truly amazing friend who I’ll bend over backwards for. And guess what, she does the same for me if not more. I found out in life you’ll be lucky if you find one true friend. Not everyone is meant to be a real friend. As I learn to discern, I found out that I have very few friend(s) and may acquaintances. I’m still polite to the acquaintances but, my family (husband, son, mother, father, siblings) and the one friend that I have is who I share my goodness with… Hope this helps!
It is painful how people take advantage of u in life.i got married in 1992.i found my wife with one child.i had unconditional love for everyone,my in laws including extended families.after the death of my wife,these people showed me there colours each he/she with there own.i really got pissed off.that caused me get my all children away.now i’ve forgiven whoever was involved in the quarrels.but this tells me how people can change in this world.god knows he’s a rewarder of .
Hey guys, after reading comments from all of you, I feel like to gather all the people like us and form a separate country or city and stay there and then only these hypocrites will understand our true value. I have gone through enough from similar situation like you guys, so sometimes I feel terrible.
seriously….
i completely agree with roller coaster..
U be the president of our new found country 🙂
I have started to notice that my mother takes me for granted and now that i have realised it and think the past, i know she has done it for a long time.
She expects me to toss my life and be my siblings and hers servant.
Example today my brother said that he is tired and would love to have a nap, but he cannot do it, cause he has daughter to look after.
So my mother said “Lara will come babysit her, so you can take a nap”.
She didn’t even ask me do i have anything to do today.
So i said “I’m not gonna babysit on my free day”, which she totally ignored and said to my bro again that “Lara will come babysit her”.
My bro said that he won’t take the nap and will babysit her own daughter, so it’s ok.
Right now i’m very pissed off, cause i feel that she thinks i don’t have right to live my own life how i want. I feel she thinks i should live my life how she wants.
I have to say that i’m quilty for loving them, adjusting usually, never taking credit and i don’t have self-confidence much.
Thought i say/ask, how i could not love my parents? I’m very family oriented person, and family is important to me.
I adjust to things i like to do, example i’m ready to pick up my bsisters kids from kindergarten, cause they are amazing kids and i like to see them, so i gladly help.
I don’t take credit, cause i believe that when it’s about family you don’t have to take credit, cause in family everyone should help each other in stuff.
Self-confidence, i don’t know what i should say about this one. I have always has low self-confidence.
Thought i say that i don’t let them rule my life, cause example in todays situation, i wouldn’t have went were my mom to say anything.
I have to say that now that i think about this whole situation, i’m feeling very sad, cause if the person who is taking me for granted would be someone more far example a friend, than it wouldn’t hurt me so much. But when i think it’s my own mother, it’s making me very sad and feels that i’m just a slave that doesn’t have any worth in life.
I’m sorry, but the main reason people take you for granted, is because THEY are selfish. You should not have to change your personality, or grow a bigger ego, for others to appreciate you. I find most people fall into the selfish category. Most people I know that feel taken for granted are people who go out of their way to do things for others and often compromise their happiness for the happiness of others. These are NOT flaws, but virtues. Surround yourself with similar people, though they are hard to find, and you’ll feel much more appreciated. Once you understand it’s them, not you, you’ll realize why being you is much better than being them. The world needs more givers, and less ego.
So crucify the ego, before it’s far too late
To leave behind this place so negative and blind and cynical,
And you will come to find that we are all one mind.
EXACTLY. MJK makes the point this article totally misses.
WE are not responsible for the behavior of others. Putting someone else’s bad behavior on the innocent party is just one more way of trying to make them feel bad about people who make them feel bad!
These reasons are backwards. How people treat us is a reflection of who THEY are, not who WE are. You should be allowed to be yourself in life without fear of being treated poorly, even if you are a sweet or soft soul. You shouldn’t have to “harden” to be treated with respect. You should be respected and treated well because humans should all give each other respect and kindness period.
People who take people for granted do it because THEY don’t love THEMSELVES so they do not know how to love and respect others. Taking people for granted is a round about way of trying to bring someone down because they feel down about themselves. It’s not about you – if they take you for granted, they are trying to make you feel worth-less, and they need to do this because they don’t feel worthy of you.
You do not need to change who you are, or change your behavior to change someone else… their behavior is their responsibility. You have the choice to not put up with t, but never let yourself feel bad that someone treated you bad – that’s on them 100%.
I completely believe in what you guys are saying here. It is THEM and our softness is a virtue, but knowing this, and that they have such low self-worth makes me want to help, (that comes from my kind nature I guess) – I know I can’t change a person, they are thier own responsibility, but at least showing unconditional love to those who can’t is a shot at bringing some peace to the world.. isn’t it? I hate the feeling of being taken for granted and was inspired by you saying we shouldn’t have to change ourselves, but I always have the urge to show love to the people who take me for granted, it’s not as simple as just surrounding myself with alike minds. I want to love myself and get out of a current situation which is affecting my happiness because of being taken for granted, but I can’t chance becoming selfish and ditching someone who I could help.
Thank You Jenna! You said what I’ve been saying for years – every word. This psychological garbage about not having self-confidence just because you treat people the way you would like to be treated even though they may not deserve it….I thought the bible taught us to “be like Jesus”….wasn’t he crucified for having the same behavior? I guess Jesus didn’t have “self confidence.” This same belief carries through when it comes to self-image issues. It’s all about attitude – it seems as though if you’re not vain about your looks, wealth, education – you don’t have “self-confidence.” I love it when you have everything people accuse you of not having and you remain humble and watch them demean and put you down not knowing they don’t have a clue of what they are talking about!!!
The person I love the most took me forgranted. I admit he became my everything and would do anything for him. He loved me but other things just became more important to him like the gym, and his car. He will cancel a plan just because he has to be at the gym. We were getting married soon. He took me forgranted. I left. It hurts so much, he’s begging for me back… But I think its best for me to move on.
I feel taken for granted by my family all of the time and it is making me a bitter, angry person. I have always tried to be loving and giving and I thought it would be reciprocated, but instead, I have found that the more you give, the more they take and they just expect you to be the unending well of accommodating their needs, but when the shoe is on the other food, forget it, no one is there. It boggles the mind that people can be such selfish takers. I get this from the majority of my family. Are most people just self centered asses or am I just the easy mark? I don’t know, but it has been very dispiriting and I’m about done with all of them. I am beginning to think it is really true that “nice guys finish last” and it is too bad that it is that way.
I am just learning that I don’t have to make friends with all of my neighbors and that some people are more toxic to me than others. I am recovering from a heart problem and burn out. For a long time in my life, I thought that if you are kind to people, respect them, treat them with generosity, no matter how jealous they are of you; that you could straight that relationship in your neighborhood. I thought I had to be in good steed with all my neighbors. I found that to be false, because it turns into an attitude where they more or less say, “I will only accept you, if you keep giving me valuable things and keep doing slave labor for me” (which by the way is enabling extortion on my part). I think I learned how to enable extortion when I was a stepchild; I kept trying to get the approval that never came. Finally I realized it was the person and not how I was treating them and let go of it. This trying to be accepted only leads to burn out; there are some people who are incapable of love and accepting others and they want perks for it instead. I have learned it okay if some neighbors don’t like me, some step relatives don’t like me and that I can survive a lot better without them. INSTEAD today, I seek out the people that like me for myself, who celebrate my presence without me having to labor or give presents, that enjoy my attention, companionship, we have fun together and we even take turns taking each other out to dinner. It’s not a one sided deal anymore. I am beginning to feel less burned out. (I grew up where I wasn’t approved of, no matter what I did. Now I’m learning the rest of the population isn’t like that. )
I have been telling my husband and my two teenage kids that they have been taking me for granted for awhile now and its seems that they just blow if off but I genuinely feel that way. I work 12 hours a day 3 to 4 times a week, I clean , wash clothes and cook never asking for much but help around the house. There are times when everybody just sits there waiting for me to do it all.I do understand that I am the woman of the house but WOMEN alsov need help sometimes. Just dont know how else to get them to understand my feelings. I know we may not be rich but its the little things that count.
Actually I don’t expect anything from people who take me for granted. All I want is that they have no right expect something from me. Taking advantage of someone’s nature for personal benefit, nothing can worse than that.
Hi!
Since I’ve been about four years old many people take me for granting starting with my family relatives! I’ve just entered college in another city so I promised myself I would stop letting any new friends take advantage of me!! In high school many people would take advantage of my niceness and regularly ask me for help in anything! However it really hurts when your own friends take advantage of you and take you for granted!! Sadly some friends here have realized I was a nice person and take me for granted!
I’m sick of people taking me for granted but I don’t dare telling people that I won’t always help them!!
Jane
Im almost 20 years old and practically all my high school friends that I have had have taken me for granted because I consider myself ‘too nice’. I appreciate the people around me too much and I build trust in relationships. I always tend to be there and do whatever people want because I care too much. All those highschool people have gone now. so in the end is it worth being nice? I have a couple of people now from High school whom we see one in a while but they are very selfish and always do what they want. It turns out these people have no friends either because they keep loosing ppl around them. And im fed up with them doing what they always want. Whenever I go out they are not interested whenever they want me to come they expect me to run and then they whine after that. I put so much effort and get little in return.
I’m the one that’s always there for my family.my mom lives close to me because she know I’m going to be the one to take care of her. I have two brothers and one sister and I’m the youngest. my family know I will help them any way I can but, no one show’s me that they care for me the same. I have one child who’s 31 years old. my son takes advantage of me along with my family.I take care of my husband to the fullest. he don’t show any love towards me.christmas I brought everyone gifts , I never get anything not even a card. If god was to tell me to come home and be with him, I will be ready. It has to be better than here on this earth. I really feel no one loves me no matter how much love I show them.
I have always been there for my husband, family and friends. I basically try everything to give them the comfort of doing things for them (even out of my way). I just feel that I do not deserve to be there for people all the time. I’am a very busy person, but still when my family or friends need me…. I can sacrifice my work for them. But on the other hand, I do not get the same when I need help. When I’m sad I cannot rely on my friends… actually I consider myself to not having as much REAL friends…. My husband thinks I’m so powerful….that he take things lightly whenever I feel this way. Now I need to write how I feel because I have no one to share this feeling of loneliness…..
Dear,
I always feel like that people always take me for granted, as the love, respect, and support, which i gives to them i never get back the same.
even whenever i try to transfer the information from one person to another for somebody’s sake they always blame me like a Hyppocrete, whereas am not like that, i always wanted to help and secure people from all their problems.
all i can really say is,what makes you cry,makes you strong…if you feel that sharp pain in your heart and you can’t bear,jst cry….and its goona be over….am saying this out of expirience
very true..
I was in a bad relationship with my husband of only 2 1/2 years. We were separated for 1 year and together the next. That already spells disaster right? When my husband cleans up his act and moves me and our 2 kids (1 from a previous relationship) to where his family lives (my in-laws), its pretty horrific. They expect me to TAKE CARE OF EVERYTHING. He only worked to pay for rent and I did the rest. We lived paycheck to paycheck, but still got assistance and I got a job during the holidays. I cooked, cleaned, sent my son to school in the mornings, took care of our daughter until my husband got home and cooked again before I left for work (closing shift). I literally did everything I could to keep my husband and kids happy. All i asked was that my husband clean up after the kids, do the dishes when he could and all he wanted to do was watch tv, sleep, sex. I am the prime example of a great, hard-working, loving mother and wife that was taken for granted not just by my husband, but his entire family as well (older sis, mom-in-law… the works)! My suggestion, leave while you still have you’re dignity and beautiful worth!!!!
Sorry to say but I would suggest you should move on. You are capable and strong enough to take care of your kids. I am suggesting because if you are not satisfied with your family, your kids won’t able to get good environment and thus think about your kid’s future and decide whats best for them.
Having both father and mother(not broken home) while the kid is growing is continuous. It’s relevant and significant to the kid’s future and most likely best for the kid. Instead of the kid having a separated parents(broken home). Parents should work their own issues and make it work. That, if, they really care about their kid.
Believe it or not, but if the parents are unhappy it also effects the children. I think that if they can’t come to an understanding it’s truly better to divorce, than to stay the way they are. If they care for the children they can still do it together without maintaining the facade of a nonexistent relationship.
Also, stop blaming everything on the children. Parents staying together isn’t necessarily the best option for them. I still don’t understand why so many people believe that…. I myself have quite a few friends from “broken homes” as you call them, and they have turned out much better than people whose parents stayed together “for their sake”. Because doing that isn’t for the sake of the child, but so the parents don’t feel guilty.
I would like to know the suggestions .. how to make people realize that i m equally important for them as they r for me
I think they taking me for granted because I’m too quite and I’m not that clever. So I find it hard to keep people in my corner. Everyone get close to me endup taking me for granted.
I guess I was just taken for granted.. it hurts me to know that but its true… we are living together since 2005, got 3 kids, and married.. sadly he just marry me for the sake of the kids and not just because he loves me.. he still cant move on with her ex girlfriend.. i did everything, i have tried everything.. but still not enough for him… i read his letter to his ex girlfriend saying that his life now would be better if he is still with her… his life is still for her… cant live without her.. he loves her so much than his self.. they broke up after the woman had an affair with the neigborhood when he came back from california… i was there for him at his worst.. but he still cant love me.. we are living together for the sake of the kids…
Leave him. Make him realize that he took you for granted. After that.. see what happens. If it’s meant to be, then it’s meant to be. But if it’s not, it’s best if you let go and find your own happiness… your children.
We are taken for granted by others because we give them chance to do it. Because they know that whatever they treat us, we are still here, besides them. 🙂
Yes.. they take us for granted bcz they know we will b there beside them.. The day we won’t be there,,, they’l surely realize our value
It’s only recently that I started noticing, that people take me for granted. And it’s not just my friends, but also my family. Although, the way others treat me, probably stems from the way I’m treated by my family, since it’s the way I’m used to being treated, so I don’t protest. I don’t really remember when it started, but it seems that it’s been happening as long as I remember. When I was a kid I often made presents for my mum, only to either have them given back or thrown away. Now that I think about it my behavior at that time might have been what started it all… But you can’t expect a 6-7 year old child to have that kind of insight…
When it comes to my friends things changed 3 years ago when i changed schools. Before I had really great friends, who treated me perfectly well, and I don’t really see what changed. I actually think i became more confident and assertive, so I don’t know why people started treating me differently. I let them, because at that time I didn’t really care. I thought it was something that would pass over time, but it seems it only escalated.
I don’t know what to do to change the situation. I don’t want to treat people badly, because I myself have been at the receiving end of such treatment far too many times. I already think of myself as fairly confident, and I don’t want to be selfish, although it’s probably what I need. But I do not want to continue to be taken for granted. Any advice?
Hi Ruchi, Glad to find that someone do gives a damn about slow people hurt by their arrogant surrounding people.I’m 22 ,Computer Science Engineer and i’ve always been slow in any matter outside of my computer.I lack what people in Uttar Pradesh(where i belong sadly as a minority community) call the art of “Duniyadari”. My two best friends at school seemed to enjoy my company until one day i found out that behind my back ,i was just a matter of laughs for them and the girls towards whom i was really shy because of my social ineptness. One day in school i was ridiculed by my friends for the poor economic state that my family always seemed to suffer with.It was totally unexpected and i think my confidence was shaken to the core.In every matter except girls i used to have a truckload of confidence , sometimes to the limit of arrogance. But from that day my confidence was gone bits by bits.I grew afraid of people, places , shops, rich people, people with cars etc. and started to associate myself with the street people though my convent education did not approve of this at all.Meanwhile one of my friends continued to visit me at home while i shut my self in from the world.And since then he’s been ruling over my life for two years (capitalizing on my fears of being embarrassed he manipulated me to break all contacts) and trusting him i hurried to off to the engineering school to where i rarely belonged. The trouble is after four years of engg. the same thing has happened to me again(it had been happening though the four years).i still cant talk to girls and i my situation has grown from bad to worse.Those arrogant childhood friends of mine have moved on to new cities and probably forgotten about me but every day i feel crippled just by the thought of being manipulated.i’ve shut my self in and stuck to the computer and lost 5 precious years like this.The thing is ,I suddenly feel the world has closed upon me and i’m gonna alwasy stay a loser no matter what i do, my school friends introduced me to porn which now i have most regrets(and i have stopped depending on it).But still from time to time i am instilled with fear of the future and shame from the past .I cant look my parents in the eye and i hate every second of my existence.I know its been a long and vague post about a cry baby but what more do you expect from a loser like me.I’m shutting myself in again.
hi vishwas, i read ur problem on being taken for granted .. and i would say, plz brother , come out of it immidiately , i hv known this situation myself .. and i do not want to see u or any other suffer frm it .. i would like to share views on this topic and would like to discuss a solution with u , i am from chandigarh ..
.. do not think that time is lost or anythng like that , time is still withing reach, but we should not allow others to let ourselves be governed by others .. and we should not change ourselves for others , we should not stop caring either …
take care .. ram ram
Enough is enough. I’ve been Reading through some of these comments and you all seem genuenly Nice people. This is my take on the situation. I know what its like to Be taken for granted, heck, its been happening my whole life incl. Relatives. I’ve tried to Be the Best person i Can Be and without a second blink always there to help others and listen to Them. I do it because i enjoy being respectful and kind to others, just like many of you guys. But its time to step up and put a stop. Show people what you are worth and not take shit. Get rid of toxic people. Sooner or later they Will miss you. Let Them know that you are important because you are!! Make new friends who appreciate you. I had a friend who uttetly used me because she didnt know many people in my native country and she often complained she didnt know many people. I invited her to many events and people. A mutual friend took advantage of me to get close to my pretty friend while knowing she had a boyfriend and while he had a girlfriend himself. I Got sick of it and endes the friendship because he was using me. Now this so called friend gets in touch with this guy who didnt treat her very Nice in the first place. She then goes out with him and his friends because and says to my face,”Well you would not go anyways because this certain person was there”. Im thinking to myself, then why did you invite me to a party and invite him too. Not to mention i recently told her i was feeling a but depressed about something, and she just brushed it of as if i asked her to pass the salt. Toxic people, get rid of then and put your energy Towards people who respect you! They are hard to find but i beleive that when you remove garbage something better pops up.
Agreeed. I am in the same situation of friends as you mentioned….and trying to fix it….there are times when not available is a good thing for you….
A great topic and article. It is getting a lot of emotional response. When I feel taken for granted I feel disappointed in the situation. If my kindness and effort is not appreciated then I have to withdraw it, because it is not good for the other person. They have to do without until they realise that having a good heart, having respect and gratitude for themselves and others is essential for developing into a mature individual. If I become their victim I am not helping them at all.
True… Its becoz we take ourselves for granted… We forget our existence so even others do…
I am more interested to know how to deal wid such emotional prob that we hv n stop being emotional fool or may be some trick to just get wht exactly we deserve….
I have a selfish mother and sister……when they have something to turn to me for help…..i will help them….but if i need their help they will turn their back on me…..they don’t even care about my feeling when they say something bad to me…..and they both say something bad behind my back too……they are SELFISH AND GREEDY…..MY MOTHER JUST WANT ME TO GO TO WORK AND EARN MONEY FOR THEM……..I HATE THEM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I think my best friend take me and my husband for granted. It started from when her husband very sick, so she was very busy looking after him so we took care of her 2 children. We love her children like our own so she doesn’t have to worry about them. The children stayed with us almost everyday and nights.We also took them on holiday coz she got a lot on her plate anyway. Sadly her husband died from his illness. We helped her a lot like shorting her financial, solicitor, estate agent etc etc etc it drained all of us but we don’t mind that as she was my best friend and still is. We also often invited her and her children to have dinner with us so they aren’t feel lonely. I also take her to a pub or night club so she can still have fun too. We have a night out and joined with her other friends pretty often. When we are out my husband take care of our children and her children and he really great to the children. But now I feel that she expecting us all the time to help her with lots of things on which we thought by now she should be able to do it by her self, sometime it became to much for me and my husband we felt that it become our problem instead of hers. The one that really gets me that she asked me to look after her children so she can have a relax night but I found out she was out with her friends to the club and pub while I busy looking after her children, entertain them, feeding them and get them ready to bed which is really hard work like I’m the one having four children. It was ok for once and twice but she did it often. I don’t want to confront her as she is my best friend. But I feel I’ve been used so does my husband. I hated feeling this way like make me feel like a bad person.
i just realize lately that i am being taken for granted by my love one… that really hurt… ;'(
I lv ds guy wt al my hrt,he came in2 mylife wen my ex-guy hurt me.he told me he’ll prove 2 me dt men r difference.i came bak 2 sch bc hostel stay in d hostel,he complain alot dt he’ll missed me.suddenly he changed,he does nt cal.wen i cal him,he ‘ll b soundin sum hw,if i said missed him,he replied i shud liv him alone.wen i cal him again,he replied dt he does nt do boyfrnd n galfrnd tin again,wtout tinkin abt my felns.i dn’t knw d reason 4 his actn,i asked him,he has nt tel me anytin
My family has been taking me for granted for years. When my children were very young, I knew it was my job as a mother to take care of their every need. My husband had medical issues and I felt it was my place to take care of him. Now that his health has improved and my children are teenagers, they still do not help out around the house. They expect me to do everything and not ask for help. I work 8 – 10 hours a day and come home and still have to cook just to have something to eat. My husband goes to school full time and works part time since his health issues were getting worse working 70 hour weeks, and he still does nothing to help inside or outside of the house. They just all sit around watching tv, on the computer, or out with friends enjoying life, while I am too tired to do anything but cry and feel lonely, sad and taken advantage of.
heya,m in a relationship wid a guy whom i love a lot..n i do evrythng 2 mke him happy…
he also loves me..bt its like dat..he doesn’t realize my importance…i m really serious 4 him..n thnk a lot about him n his career..bt wen i gv him some advice relatd 2 anythng or tel him 2 do anthng dats gud 4 him…he nva does it…
do i need 2 wry bout ds? n also he says dat i luv u alot bt i won’t marry u…dnt thnk of marryng n all..although v r of d same caste..bt stil he doesn’t want me…
hw to mke him realize my worth..n also make him realize dat he also cnt liv widout me??
plzz suggest me..
I have split with my ex fiancée, 2 children involved, told her I miss and love her, still doesn’t ant me back because children upset with terrible words I’ve said, I’m also on depressants. Was told my step daughter is scared of me, terrible I know. Some advice would be helpfull?
Sometimes we have to sit back and look not at who is important in our life but how important we are in their life. How important do they make you feel?
I am tired of my life.since childhood i ahve been used by people for their own benefits and never had any good friends now my marriage is being affected as my husband has a wrong ego he goes out with so called frinds ends up paying for them some how or the other and he thinks it is ok and i on other hand am soo done with people that i dont want to try any new relation ship for friends this is affecting my kids as people use is and i get irritated and mad afterwards and lose time money and energy is their any way out i am tired of being used by people and then hear from my husband that i have zero people skills
but wen we truly lov sm1 we doon think tat they take us for granted..as i do…i lov a guy…more than anything in the world..but he doesnt fll lyk me..but i cAnt neglect him at all…but he knws that i adore him than anything else in the worldd…how to make him lov me….pls ruchi help me to sort this outt… ill name our child as ruchii…lol
Hey Preeti,
You can’t force anyone to love you. Using tricks is not worth for a long term relationship. And without knowing why he doesn’t love you, it’s kind of tough to help you. If he already knows that you love him, then talk to him what he feels for you and why can’t he be in a relationship with you. May be you will able to decide that what next step you need to take.
love does not happen in a second or a minute or a day. sometimes men and women wait for years without telling anyone and that is not love either. men and women in india suffer from such scenarios more than anyone else because arranged marriages have blunted our capacity to build a relationship on our own.
I don’t even know a single human that doesn’t take me for granted, Just when you meet someone and you think they are not selfish they would bite you so hard……… The feeling of being taken for granted by all, even the people I care so much for, make me cry la little baby.
Hi I agree with ur statement that why people whom we love the most take us as granted n does not even care for us what we deserve, but truly speaking what u give out u will get it back that is life……
thanks for this blog my family really takes me for granted like my cousin broke down on side of the road i was in class when she called i left to help her fastforward 2 months my car won’t start and i need a ride she says she can’t help cuz she just got to the mall. that is just one family member one incident. so sad.
I know how you all feel cause I’ve been there and back over and over again. I’m a very loud person and always the joker. I have also made the point that I’ll also always be there if they have problems. But despite that, everybody just only seem to come to me for jokes. They don’t notice when I’m not in the mood, they just expect me to spit out a joke for their amusement. When it comes to parties, they seem towant my help in planning it but they never did for me, even though we’re in the same group of friends. I still love my friends but I know that we won’t last long. I guess we just have to live with the pain. But if you let it count, I want to let everyone that has contributed here in the comment section and the author of the article, that I appreciate you. I was feeling lonely and when I read your comments, it have me hope that maybe I’ll be lucky enough to meet some of you and I’ll have a friendship where we can have mutual appreciation for each other. Thank you do much! <3
It is so familiar. It happens to me all of the time. In the end I learn how stupid I am to let this happens again and again. Being nice, loving and care doesn’t get me anywhere, it has brought me to a place I don’t want to be part of it. Selfish mum in law, selfish close friend and families. When will I feel that I will be nurtured and protected? Maybe Never? Some people will say, get over it, life moves on and the next day lets just pretend everything is all right. Important lessons I have just learned, less giving and learn to be more selfish.
Eeya I can relate to your dilemma and many of the other comments. My annoyance is neighbours taking my husband and myself for granted. I find many only call in when they want something. Can you order this on your computer can you take a parcel in for us etc. Have you got this and that. My husband has been unwell for over 2 weeks and they know this but only one neighbour has bothered to call us to see how he is. I told my husband don’t bother anymore look after yourself. If the ones who haven’t bothered to contact us during his illness and they ask for any favours again the answer is no.
>> i do agree with wt u all hv said, i hv been thru similar mess myself,
but i m still learning ,it is hard to get the ppl acknowledge us , when we care for them and giv them unconditional love and care ..
helping out friends in their time of needs and then i am being forgotten for a long while , like sm non existent .. till another works calls me ..
but friends, i have also come to think of this thing, and i am still learning and working over this.. that this line ‘WE GET WHAT WE SEE’ sure works whatever may be the situation .. so friends, i think though it puts us in so much mental pressure that we are being taken for granted and we do lose our identity as an individual in thier eyes .. etc .. but we should start diverting our FOCUS from them (which is difficult though !!) .. and should give our all care and attention to some goal that we want to achieve or something very positive in any workshop or something ,… or any project or any deal that we want .. because i think this would relieve us from our mental burden , atleast… this will make us more confident and self centered a bit .. whcih i guess , is what i need … though i do suffer frm this ‘taken fr granted’ thing … i do keep experimenting things to find a way out too … though i would like to hear from u all abt this situation and hw to tackle it ?? …… coz what i m saying seems hard to me too right nw .. but still i m trying ….
i really lv oneof my frn alot n he also knws it well..
he knws each n every feeling of mine…. he knw he cn make me laugh as well cry
but its very hard to get him…sometimes he talks to me like m very much close to him, m d only frnd for him bt smtym hes like he will nt reply me even hes online .. even will not bother abt me
what is all the crab?? what should i do??
I appreciate this article. I really hope to adjust certain things in order to have my place and respect back.
I have always been a loving and caring person naturally. I always end up giving my everything when it comes to love. At the begining,it all seems mutual but at some point everything begins to change and am being taken for granted.
I have been in a relationship with this beautiful lady for one year and five months now. At the begining she always showed how much she loved me just like I did. But in the past few months she seems to take me for granted because I’ve so made her a priority. She even uses the F-word on me. She talks to ma anyhow she like,probably because I’ll always come back.
I am glad I read this article and I think it’s time to take a great step. I wouldn’t maind letting go of this relationship even though it’s going to hurt. But I’ll never repeat this again in any relationship I find myself.
It’s good to be loving and caring,but showing that u really care is such a big mistake .
Late of last year, I had new roommates. They were really loud and demanding. Before they came, everything was quite and now that they had came, wanting people to do stuff became child-like tantrums. For example, I was lying down watching tv and I heard a lot of clanging and stomping at the staircase. I asked if there was something wrong and my housemate started to complain that no one had cleaned the stairs. At one point, people started yelling stuff and my quite living space started to become a living turmoil. Once, my housemate asked me if I had cleaned the bathroom and I told her that I would do it at my own time. Days later, she started mimicking me to the other housemates “Thanks for doing it at your own time!” over and over again and making fun of the way I sing. Being afraid to talk to her about it, I waited a week later and confronted to all my housemates at their own times that if they had a problem with me, that they could talk to me. With the one girl that’s the loudest, I talked to her and told her that that hurt my feelings. We ended up getting into an argument and I thought that was the end of it, but I was awoken the next day to her mimicking me again! So I told my house manager and she told me I could either move to another room or talk to the whole house. I felt that since I had already talked to her how it made me feel and she continues to do it, I would move and I did. Things are a lot better. Some people said I shouldn’t have had to move, but I’m actually glad to be out of there; I’m less stressed and we’re all pretty quiet for the most.
People don’t know what they have until its gone. Even through death, people live in denial and ignorance. People feed on others behavior to fuel their voids. In the end, you die alone so create your path of happiness without the expected influence of other people. We have no idea what’s next. Could be worse but we are forced to believe it could be better, how could life be worse than the acts of devil ridden beings we are surrounded with. Imagine how much worse life would be if we knew it was going to be worse and held no hope for something heavenly….