Being in love is beautiful, every moment with your BAE becomes special. Getting attention and spending quality time alone, makes you feel dreamy. Though all love the attention and affection from your lover gradually it becomes nauseating once the red glasses are off and that excessive attention will feel like a burden.
Love birds have to work on their boundaries because there is a very thin line between giving attention and being clingy. There are people who think that “clinginess” is a way to show that you love and care for another person, but getting too possessive and not giving space leads to an unhealthy obsession. It’s imperative to give some space and have boundaries in connections.
Here are a few tips to transform from being clingy to self-contained:
Regain your life:
You had hobbies and other people in your life before your sweetheart showed up, thus even after having an affair, you must know how to balance time between your family/friends and partner. While hanging out with others, try not to make all the conversations about your love life. Try to know what’s new with others and show them you still care about your friends and relatives.
Have a passion for your career or spend time learning new things. Take some time to enjoy your hobbies, this will surely help to enhance your skill and you won’t be clinging to your partner 24/7. Having some time apart will surely help to ignite the spark again in the connection.
Clinginess is often due to low self-worth. The anxiety of break-up and future of relationship leads to friction in the relationship. Take your relationship slow and have a firm foundation first, which will help to eliminate the constant feeling of validation from other people. Self-love and confidence play a major role in building a long-term relationship. Instead of depending on your partner for all your emotional, social, or financial needs. It’s better to boost confidence and grow a sense of autarky. Be the reason for your own happiness instead of depending on someone else to make you happy.
You may be head over heels for your lover, but you can’t be with them 24/7. Your lover is not your infant kid, who needs constant attention and needs advice about “what to eat”, “what to wear”, “where to go” or “whom to be friends with”. Let them take their own decision. Of course, you can always give them suggestions where required but don’t keep nagging for every single thing they do.
You need to be patient with them when they get late from work or not able to receive your call. If you don’t like their behaviour it’s better to talk calmly about what bothers you and how you can resolve the problem by considering each other’s feelings without getting hurt.
Eliminate trust issues:
Many people have a possessive attitude towards their partners due to a lack of trust. Checking mobiles, stalking them on social media to track their friends, comments, likes, or keep calling every hour to know where they are, all these habits make your partner feel suffocated in a relationship and might scare them away from you.
Keeping tabs on them won’t solve your trust issues, rather it will increase frailty in connection. Thus, if you have doubts or insecurities, it’s better to discuss them with your partner and reach a concrete solution.
Accept the fact that your GF/ BF has their own life, choices, likes, and dislikes. Let them spend some time alone or a night out with their gang. Instead of clinging to them, it’s preferable to cling on to your own life and make it worth living.
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