Relationships are mystery and it gets unfold with time. I’m sure it’s just not me but many of you feel the same. You might have met your dream guy or girl last summer but with time you realized the differences between you and your love and you realized it’s not working out. Honestly, when you are in love with a person who is incompatible with you or you don’t feel being yourself, you find it hard to move on.
You might have dated the person for long but every time you with him/her, it feels like you are meeting a stranger. Believe it or not, a relation is not only worth love but it’s worth much more than love thingy. A great love relation is based on Trust, loyalty, love and most important respect. In the absence of any, your relation is ore likely to fall and sooner you accept it better it is for you. I keep meeting school and college kids who are shattered because of their past relation and the hardest part is moving on. They have already broken up and now in the zone of denial and not accepting anyone new. This is nothing but a state of mind which comes when you have so many negative thoughts running in your mind. Here are few things which will help you to move on and start a new life all over again.
Just Move on:
A breakup can never be happy and doesn’t matter who called it off, you miss the other person because you loved him/her at one point of time. There is nothing wrong in it, because your feelings were true but what was not right is the compatibility. If I have to explain this in my Geeky language, it would be more like running Android OS on iPhone and expecting it to work the same. But ALAS! it doesn’t happen this way. For a perfect relation, compatibility is a big factor else you might have to shake hands with compromise. And if you are one of those who don’t want to live a compromised life, it’s time to sip a coffee or grab a bottle of beer and read this article with clear state of mind:
Accept It’s over:
The hardest part of moving on after a relation is accepting. Though your mind knows it’s all over but your heard says it’s not and believe me there is no end to it. I have met people who have broken up for almost 3 years back but still living in the dream of their Ex. In short, they still living in the past and don’t want to move on. The first thing which you need to think and realize is it’s over and there is no point turning the page back.
Specially if you are dumped, you find it hard to accept because of Ego and lack of Self respect. The saddest part of getting dumped is, it takes your self esteem down and you get into Zone where you think what’s wrong with me? Why I got dumped?
There is nothing wrong with you, it’s just your relation was not perfect and it was not going in the same direction as you people expected it to be, so take little time (1 week or max 10 days) and accept that you are single now and your Bf/GF got a new salutation of being an Ex.
Delete Bad memories:
Honestly, When I broke up with my last GF, I was finding it hard to move on. I keep looking at her pictures, text, Emails and her Facebook account. I didn’t realized this was leading me nowhere and I was missing her all the more. More over, this let me into depression and I started drinking. Another one month of my life got wasted and it was leading me no where.
The best way, if your breakup is not mutual (Bad breakup) and you are unable to move on, delete the memories. I’m the guy who believe in cherishing the memories but there are many memories which are better when you recycle them. Delete all pictures, all point of contact and live as if the person doesn’t exist. I know it’s hard to do but again if you really wish to move on with your life, this is something which you ought to do and it works great. Now, when I say delete it, that means all point of contact and all memories which makes you miss her/him. Even your Whatsapp messages and pictures. For Pictures, I recommend you to backup on Picasa, Flickr or anywhere so that after years of time, you can again start cherishing your past relation. After all, it’s a part of your past.
Change your Habits:
I have been in habit of waking up with Whats’app messages or I feel sleepy after talking to my ex only, but it was not the same after breakup. Specially, after work that’s the time when you really want your love to be around and to be talked and to be cuddled, you miss him/her the most and there is no solution to it. The best way, change your habits. Change your cycle and the way you do things. This is temporary and once you get used to the new change, you will find it easier ot move on and not to miss your past.
Make new Friends:
Being in a serious relation is amazing feeling but one downside of it is, you might not meet the new people at the same time or atleast you might not have opened up yourself enough to know your new friends. Now, this is the right time to meet new people and make new friends. Make sure you never mention about your past bad relation, otherwise your relation with new people will not be so energetic and happy.
This is the last but a solution that actually works. Be it a small time fling or a complete rebound sex, it will help you to get over the person completely. It’s very hard to fall in love again just after getting out of a relation, as you are emotionally empty or blank that time and your heart needs some love, some healing before you can truly love yourself.
Always remember one thing: When you are getting out of a bad breakup, the first person who offer you a smiling face and a hand to hold, you end up falling for that person. In most of the cases it’s rebound and you should be aware of it. Instead of making the same mistake again, take some to get back to your normal self and than think of a new relation.
Well moving on might take little time but don’t let it waste precious moment of your life. Always remember, We got just one life to live.
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Breaking up might be easier compared to a divorce. once u marry the woman you love, you transform your relationship into a lifetime commitment. and then u find out that you are incompatible or suffering from relationship abuse and cant tolerate your beloved taking unfair advantage of you, etc, etc.. i think its much more difficult to be separated. what would you suggest for someone who has recently got a divorce? how to move on?
I was in a serious affair of 8 yrs and after all family drama we were finally engaged and soon after engagement we both were finding things difficult to cope up so we are separated. is this the right decision to be apart after a long relationship??