There are many reasons which results in separations of loved ones which changes life of both the person involved. Some of prominent reasons of problems are jealously, pride and ego. Ego usually comes out of fear of losing control or proving yourself right or when someone is feeling insecure. People don’t even realize that they have ego problem and it eventually results in breaking up relations with their loved ones.
Here are few tips to avoid ego problems:
1. No regrets and no proud: Never feel regret about your past or about your negative points. Even you must never think that you are best in any of your quality. Every person has some negative and some positive points, thus stop regretting or feeling proud. Your partner is equally intelligent and responsible as you are, you know some things better than your partner and your partner knows some things better than you. Proud and regrets both increase your ego.
2. Don’t always praise yourself : Keep praising yourself in front of others don’t help much to impress them, in fact they it slowly increases your ego and make you overconfident. If you have habit of telling others about your achievements or success every time when you get into conversation with others then you can get trapped with ego problems easily. So, praising yourself must be in limits.
3. Keep your leg in other’s shoe: Many people think that they always think and do right things, but this is not true. The fact is many time what we think is right, can actually impact badly in our life. Thus, while discussing with your partner about any topic, try to think the way he/she is thinking. It is not necessary that you always oppose what your partner want to say or he/she is not enough mature to give you suggestions. This tendency increases your ego problem. When you try to think like your partner, you can easily come out of your ego problem and become broader minded.
4. Don’t make habit of listening compliments: Sometimes you say such things like “I am good for nothing “or “I don’t look good” and wait people to give you compliment that “no, you look beautiful”. People generally make habit of listening only good things about themselves, which are sometimes fake and just to make you happy. When your partner says the right things about you, your ego hurts very easily. Thus, beware of listening fake praise or keep yourself away from people who keep on flatter you , this will increase your ego problem and you will find difficult to receive criticism.
To reduce the fights between you and your partner, you need to avoid your ego. Ego should never come in between loved ones, it ruin your marriage. You need to prepare mentally that you need to remove ego problems between you and your partner and then follow above steps. I can assure you that you will surely get close to your partner and your fights will get reduced.
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i just thought that married life is the happiest point of my life.”.~
married life is a bit exciting but you will have lots of responsibilities.:”~
Agree Brooke, but somewhere it feels good that you are capable of taking others responsibility and not selfish to just think about yourself.
i have lot of depressions if u wud find me more things i will be more happier..contact me please if u wud like to another fellow
married life is the happiest part of a persons life if the wife and husband really love each other”-,
I have been in a relationship with my childrens mom for 7 years now. We both have done several things to intionally hurt each other. Our relationship started off in this manor. We have been together off and on over these 7 years. I love her as much as I love my kids. I have read most of your tips on “how to….” . They have been very helpful. Most I have already tried. Here in the last 2 months we just cant seem to see eye to eye on anything except “we be happier if we split up”. I cant bring myself to actually leave her. Nor can she. We love each other and tell each other we want to stay a family. But we cant seem to get along. Alot of it is our past. We only want to leave when we aint getting along with eachother. If there is any advise you have that could help our relationship. We would appriciate it.
Hey Chris,
You need to be positive.
Do you know what, these days when we can’t get along with someone then we think of separating because there is a word called “Divorce”.
See you two love each other but have different thinking.. You need to do few adjustments… It’s marriage not some childish affair.
When you fight with each other, try to recall good things you do for each other. That will make relationship better.
Chris, instead of thinking that separation will make you happier try to think that adjustments will make things good. And changing your life style for someone you love is really worth. you both list down pros and cons when you will leave each other. Living alone is not at all makes you happier, it seems greener other side.
If you need more help, please mail us. We would love to save your relation.
Hi Ruchi,
I am currently going through tough time in my married life. Its been 1.5 years of marriage and feeling like to run away from this. His ego and actions hurt me a lot and when I say something or want to talk to him, he says I don’t want to waste my time on this.
Not sure what to do. feeling depressed 🙁
dear chris,
hope you are still not divorced. just read your post. it is easy to get divorced. it is easy to break anything, but it is very difficult to fix a broken part. see your kid’s happiness when they see mom and dad together. nothing can replace it. at least for that sake, please go ahead and adjust with your married life. people say that, “what adjusting, if you cant, better go away..” no, adjusting is an integral part of human beings, we are adjusting with our destiny, our boss, our government, our society, our health and mannerisms…this also is manageable. I too go through a very tough married life with my husband. but, this is what i feel. adjusting and going together as a good family is the toughest part. achieving the tough is like being in the top. divorce- any fool can do. achievement needs brilliance. good luck!
Hi,
Me and my husband started a beautiful life together.As days are passed the things are getting werst b/w us where we both never used to leave each other on any situation,promosed in front of god saying will support each other in good and bad thing,the same 2 ppl are dont even wat to see each others face.
a small talk also leads inti fight.a small conversation turns as argument finally ends in fight.
I love my husband more than my life,as i love my mom.They both are equal to me but my hus doesnt not udstds tat.he just want me to be with him only…
Is it that married girl doesnt have any responsibility towards her parents.What kind of mentality is tat girls shd always compromise from birth to death.
But my husband showed me a lots of love in the beggining,may be i have taken tat into granted,now when he is changed and started showing is own color not able to bear tat.
I am tat kind of a girl who says straight tat yes you are wrong and its hurts me.may be there i am wrong for him to say it which might hurt his ego.
i have not even completed a yr of my marriage life.So soon so many problems wth no serious reason,my heart says ok compramise but mind says tell him tat he is wrong.
To which one to hear i dont understatnd,he is a self apprciated person and he thinks tat i dont support him on any matter.
Each and every time he hurts me with harsh words and say sorry and says he loves me a lot and he wants me in his life,but what kind of love is tat.The love shd be unconditional,what do i call his love as true love or selfish love
he never listrn to anyone,but he used to listrn to me what ever i say.he used to check with me and spend money and used to hand over all his money to me i was his everything.but al of sudden y do he think tat i am against him.I dont want to live with him.Why?…i have no answer.yes i have teased him,may be tat would have hurt him or visiting my mothers place is troubling him….dont understand….tooooo much of confusion.
try to talk to him abt our breaking marriage life that end with another fight.now both are not talking to each other.its really hurting me a lot.He is ready to complain abt me to my family but not to talk to me abt the issue.
what shd i do……………
Hey Sam,
In your long comment… What interests me is “You Love Him”. If you love him..Keep calm and find ways to understand his point of view.
Marriage needs time to settle.. You get responsibilities, totally different life from earlier and few people need time to adjust. Its not more than one year, marriage takes time to understand each other properly.
“He doesn’t love me like earlier”, there is nothing like that. I wonder why all women have same complain. Why you can’t see the positive side of your husband. Give him some time, talk to him why he says no to visit your mom. He will tell you but only when you talk to him politely and instead of arguing with him, think from his point of you. Not talking to each other won’t solve anything.
Believe me, I have experienced. People do change and if you love each other gradually things will change. Stop complaining and think a way out by talking to him. He is not your mom’s enemy, I am sure there would be some reason why he says harsh words to you because underneath he loves you.
Best luck 🙂
Hi
I am married for 2 years. My father and wife are very egoistic. Before marriage we told her that she will have to do a job. But after marriage she asked to have a kid first then opt for job. I agreed with her. But my father opposed but later he asked she should study at home to keep in touch with work. He is a depression patient also. Recently he got angry and said lots of bad things to me and my wife realted to her job. He behaved very badly. Now my wife doesnt want to live with him any more. What should i do??
Hey Lavi,
It’s really tough to handle two people with different thinking. You really need to talk to both of them and find a middle way. It’s a family matter and you can’t just escape from this problem. Staying away from father, is not a good idea. He is already suffering from depression and he needs you but you have to take care of your wife’s feeling too.
All this sounds difficult but start by realizing your wife that you love her and also support her but she need to be patient when there is a problem with your father. Secondly, try to make your father understand that your wife have her life too and it would be good if he don’t interefre much in your and your wife’s decision.
Hope it helps.
Thanks great advice ? But my problem is my husband and my best friend is have in a relationship ? And my life is being more complicate ! My husband say he just don’t want me that he love my friend not me! So my husband and i we both went too a advisers ! And thing i try too understand ! What has happened its happened done so my husband told me too relax my mind ! For sometime by my parent so i spent one week and when i come home back i look in too his phone and saw the girl number and we have a problem once more i ask him what is this he told me he was worrying about where she is and what she is doing ! I went in bed wit his i never see what he is doing that he never do before i really worry that my best friend and my husband is still have in there relationship going ! I just don’t know what too do ?
Dear ruchi. How marrige life can be good if your husband always let down you
Hey Priya,
Sorry for late reply. I can understand what you would be going through. A Few men have habit to make you feel inferior so that they can keep their ego up. Even if they are wrong, they will blame everything on you. Try to talk to him when he is in good mood and be calm because such man gets really angry when you pinpoint their mistakes.
If you both love each other all these problems will gradually resolve by communicating with each other. Hope it helps. Best luck 🙂
I know, in married life one has to do some adjustment but it is just possible up to word only ‘some’. But situation like If my partner enjoying to see me only in sorrows by Disbelieving in whole 18 years our married life leaving me repeatedly without caring me and staying by purchasing a separate accommodation with children then what is meaning of one side adjustment in life.
Hi,
I’m married n having two kids..since ten years…I have loved n obyed my hubby from the bottom of my heart..n still I love him ..however he has not been there for me in any ways..not stayed with me…n now he had put false algigations on me as I oppose to not listen to him…I stopped giving money… stopped calling him…n have put up a case…as he has been touchering me n my family.. but inspire of all of this ..I still cry n miss him…… It was not ego.,but threat due to which I led to this step….
hi Ruchi,
Mine is a 16 year old love cum arranged marriage, from beginning my MIL and husband are always bent on forcing me to work and earn money. She always controlled things around the house and due to fights I was asked to get out of my husbands house with my daughter when she was small. For the past ~10 yrs we stay separate with husband coming only to sleep at night. My husband never supports me emotionally or around things in the house other than one or 2 odd jobs. We both have huge ego issues and my MIL makes use of this situation, my husband eats and bathes in my MIL’s house while I stay 1 km apart. Life feels like MIL is his wife while I am the other woman with no control or right on him…he sleeps also separate for 4 yrs now. What do you suggest, my daughter is in her preteens and now rebellious towards her father I am feeling very depressed and low