I came across lots of couples who keep on telling each other what to do? What not to do? And make a list of rules in their relationship. I never understand that if you choose someone as your partner, why you can’t love him/her as he/she is?
It’s good to show right path and things to your partner but it never means that you should try to change your partner completely and make him/her a “Copy for yours”. Try to give your partner space and take him/her out of your rule book, even your partner has an identity and rights to live life his/her way.
Here are few things which you must keep in mind before changing your partner:
1. Opposite complete each other:
A biggest myth in a relation is that you feel that you and your partner must have same lifestyle and thinking. Please change this myth. In fact it’s better to have a partner who is living a bit different life than you live, this way you both can complete each other. It’s not adjustment, it’s kind of stability you will get in your life because of your partner. If you like parties and he don’t, make sure to respect each other’s feeling and enjoy alone as well as in parties. You both need to change your attitude for each other, rather just changing your partner’s attitude.
2. Try to understand:
You might be love to live life without any rules and regulations and if your partner is just opposite than rather to change your partner, think that why he will leave his good habits for you. Try to understand your partner’s feeling and do what your partner like, instead of keep fighting on stupid reasons like cleaning home properly or getting home late.
3. You both come from different environment:
You both came from different family background and culture then why you want to change your partner completely for you. Even he/she loves to live the life which they lived since their childhood. Try to adjust in few things, keep your ego away and talk about the habits of your partner which you just can’t resist. Remember to be polite while discussing your partner’s irritating habits.
4. Understanding solves everything:
Understanding is most important factor to make any relationship successful. It might be with your friend, your spouse or your parents. Try to understand each other and forget about changing each other. Once you will create understanding, you will change automatically for each other.
5. Love or arrange marriage:
It doesn’t matter which you prefer, love or arrange marriage. It’s just the way how you deal with each other. When you are in love and not married, you will love all bad habits of your partner. But the day you get married , you just want to change your partner from day 1. Why so? Either it’s love marriage or arrange marriage the fact is that you both have to change for each other. Believe me , it’s never too hard to change for each other when you truly love your partner.
If you keep on ruling your partner for every small things and want to make him/her perfect then rethink again. Your partner might start telling you lie about his/her life or might get away from you. If you will give lots of love to your partner , he/she will surely change their habits for you and give lots of love in return.