How to Live with the One You Hate

“How one gets time to hate someone when there is so little time to love?”

I read this somewhere a long time ago, but still remember. We get a lot of people in life whom we don’t like, but then also we have to live with them or maintain relations with them. It becomes very tough when we have to live with someone who thinks in a different way and soon the misunderstanding and lifestyle develops a feeling of hatred.

Here are a few tips to improve your relationship with the one you hate:

  • Understand: The basic reason to hate someone is because you don’t like the way he/she thinks or the way he/she behaves with you. There is always a reason behind the thinking or rude behavior of any person. For e.g., Your uncle might keep on telling you to stay away from a bad habit, even though he might be involved in that, but he tells you because he doesn’t want  you to repeat the mistake that he has done. Thus, try to think about it and take positively.
  • Rude behavior: Second reason to hate someone is rude behavior of that person. You again need to find out that why he/she is rude with you or others as well. May be that person is having habit to talk rudely, but don’t have any hard feelings for you. For e.g., that person might have seen bad times in early life and that affected his/her nature. Situations does change people. Thus, before hating anyone try to understand the reason behind it.
  • Forgive: I can understand that it might be difficult to forgive others for more than three times. But I can assure you that one day they will realize their mistake and start behaving nicely with you and  will surely understand you. If you give love 10 times, they have to return it back to you. Love can easily remove harsh feelings from heart.
  • Talk: Once you understand the reason behind the difference between you and another person, it is better to talk in a positive and calm way about the problems created between both of you. But while discussing, you need to find suitable time when another person is in a good mood. If you will talk to him/her when he is in a good mood, he will understand what you want to convey. While talking, you need to be calm even if another person is getting angry.
  • Positive: You need to be positive for changing your thinking about the one you hate. Everyone has some or other positive points and you must see positive things and ignore negative points. If you will behave nicely, he/she have to behave nicely with you. It is up to you what you want to choose in a relation hate or love?

You can’t just ignore the person and move on; you will find a lot of people around the world that you won’t like. But you need to take challenge and change your attitude rather than ignoring the relation like a coward.

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{ 13 comments… add one }
  • Sunil Jain December 11, 2009, 6:12 pm

    I liked the way you have given an example for some points 🙂
    I would also like too add one more point
    * Stop Discrimination : Never try to find any difference b/w you and others , in this way not only you will hate them but also hurt them . So be happy with them and try to make them happy 🙂 🙂
    .-= Sunil Jain´s last blog ..Free Michael Jackson Wordpress Theme =-.

    • ruchi December 12, 2009, 12:44 pm

      Glad you like it. Thanks for adding one more point, that’s really important to remember.

  • Provamsi @ India365 December 11, 2009, 7:45 pm

    Wow, U did manage to write a great one, I never expected this type of article from your ruchi. You are just exceptional, you almost covered all the points here.

    I was totally impressed with this point …

    “Second reason to hate someone is rude behavior of that person. You again need to find out that why he/she talks rudely with you or others also. May be that person is having habit to talk rudely but don’t have any hard feelings for you.”

    you deserve a huge round of applause.
    .-= Provamsi @ India365´s last blog ..Plan Your Work be Consistent, Friendly, Polite and Work Hard : Arafat Hossain Piyada =-.

    • ruchi December 12, 2009, 12:45 pm

      Thanks Provamsi, Glad you like the article.

      That’s really g8 compliment :).

  • George Serradinho December 14, 2009, 11:32 am

    All valida points and we should all consider them and try a bit harder to resolve/sort out our issues.
    .-= George Serradinho´s last blog ..Serious Monday Roundup #21 =-.

    • ruchi December 15, 2009, 5:29 pm

      Glad you like Serradinho :).

  • Pavan Somu December 21, 2009, 5:28 pm

    The title of the post seems funny but the content is very precious. Nice to have such an good points from you Ruchi.

    Offtopic: This blog too looking cool. Especially the layout is beautiful. Good taste.
    .-= Pavan Somu´s last blog ..Realpress Multi Coloured Wordpress Themes =-.

    • ruchi December 22, 2009, 12:37 pm

      Glad you like the post and blog look out. 🙂

  • Dauntae Holloway January 3, 2010, 5:00 am

    Hi Ruchi,

    Ok, lets see if you can give me some further insight; However I did like some points in your article.

    I am living with a friend currently and have noticed that he is very arrogant, de-grading, a big attention seeker, ego-tistical and dis-respectful. Some of these aspects he is aware of; the arrogance and the ego. The degrading he does not; he de-values my interests, dismisses my thoughts and knowledge only (because I have understood) that he has to be the one to shine and doesn’t care what I have to say. He is a college grad and a successful nurse and he thinks he is better then everyone. I know this is untrue; I am a very confident, capable, cultiavated individual who is getting things together professionally and personally. I have very few friends and estranged from family and do not have a significant other, and I feel utterly alone on emotional and practical mental support. I moved in with him because I thought (rashly) he got me, but he does not. Ruchi, I have typed a comprehendsible letter to him and also had a serious talk with him; of course since he was called out he said what he knew he should say, instead of reflecting on the truth. I do have other options to move out, however I am now sick of being around him and truly intensely dislike him. What do you make of this?

    • ruchi January 11, 2010, 10:09 am

      Dauntae, I believe that as he is so centered and a well settled guy, He is not going to change for you.
      I can understand that you feel irritated with his behavior but instead of expecting to change his nature now , you better sift to some other place ( As you have the options) . And if you want to continue with him, then try to ignore the dominating behavior of your friend and ignore him. He will soon realize his fault. Many times your silence speak a lot instead of long talks.

  • sudharsan @ technoskillonline January 28, 2010, 10:33 pm

    I didnt except this kind of blog from you Ruchi..
    mmm very nice blog i like it very much

    This kind of blog is very much needed for this mechanical world…

    u r doing a great job

    keep it up………..

    • Ruchi May 11, 2010, 2:41 pm

      Glad you like it Sudharsan 🙂

  • nini June 26, 2016, 9:44 pm

    Good points, but no practical application for how to cope in this situation. It’s like writing an article telling a junky how to quit drugs and telling them to stop buying them. That is a solution, but can they actually do it? People don’t need to know what needs to be done, they need to know how it can be done. When you have to live with a family member who is an a$$ and they pride themselves in being an a$$. And you are the complete opposite. How do you survive without jumping off a bridge? That’s what I need to know. That’s what a lot of people need to know. It’s easier to forgive a person you do not live with, because you do not have to to deal with them on a regular. But when you live with an a$$, they will constantly haunt you with their negativity. There is no simple solution list for a situation like this. They will pick at you because it’s in their nature,and they have no desire to change who they are. They are comfortable being an a$$. I’m still looking for an answer. Thanks for the article though.


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